1984
George Orwell [Eric Blair]:
Published: 1949
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* Chapter One
*
It was a
bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith,
his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped
quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough
to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.
The hallway
smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats. At one end of it a coloured poster,
too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply
an enormous face, more than a metre wide: the face of a man of about
forty-five, with a heavy black moustache and ruggedly handsome features. Winston
made for the stairs. It was no use trying the lift. Even at the best of times
it was seldom working, and at present the electric current was cut off during
daylight hours. It was part of the economy drive in preparation for Hate Week.
The flat was seven flights up, and Winston, who was thirty-nine and had a
varicose ulcer above his right ankle, went slowly, resting several times on the
way. On each landing, opposite the lift-shaft, the poster with the enormous
face gazed from the wall. It was one of those pictures which are so contrived
that the eyes follow you about when you move. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the
caption beneath it ran.
Inside the
flat a fruity voice was reading out a list of figures which had something to do
with the production of pig-iron. The voice came from an oblong metal plaque
like a dulled mirror which formed part of the surface of the right-hand wall.
Winston turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat, though the words were
still distinguishable. The instrument (the telescreen, it was called) could be
dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely. He moved over to
the window: a smallish, frail figure, the meagreness of his body merely
emphasized by the blue overalls which were the uniform of the party. His hair
was very fair, his face naturally sanguine, his skin roughened by coarse soap
and blunt razor blades and the cold of the winter that had just ended.
Outside, even
through the shut window-pane, the world looked cold. Down in the street little
eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals, and though the
sun was shining and the sky a harsh blue, there seemed to be no colour in
anything, except the posters that were plastered everywhere. The black
moustachio'd face gazed down from every commanding corner. There was one on the
house-front immediately opposite. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption
said, while the dark eyes looked deep into Winston's own. Down at street level
another poster, torn at one corner, flapped fitfully in the wind, alternately
covering and uncovering the single word INGSOC. In the far distance a
helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a
bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the police
patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not matter, however.
Only the Thought Police mattered.
Behind
Winston's back the voice from the telescreen was still babbling away about
pig-iron and the overfulfilment of the Ninth Three-Year Plan. The telescreen
received and transmitted simultaneously. Any sound that Winston made, above the
level of a very low whisper, would be picked up by it, moreover, so long as he
remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded, he could
be seen as well as heard. There was of course no way of knowing whether you
were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the
Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even
conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they
could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live -- did live,
from habit that became instinct -- in the assumption that every sound you made
was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized.
Winston kept
his back turned to the telescreen. It was safer, though, as he well knew, even
a back can be revealing. A kilometre away the Ministry of Truth, his place of
work, towered vast and white above the grimy landscape. This, he thought with a
sort of vague distaste -- this was London, chief city of Airstrip One, itself
the third most populous of the provinces of Oceania. He tried to squeeze out
some childhood memory that should tell him whether London had always been quite
like this. Were there always these vistas of rotting nineteenth-century houses,
their sides shored up with baulks of timber, their windows patched with
cardboard and their roofs with corrugated iron, their crazy garden walls
sagging in all directions? And the bombed sites where the plaster dust swirled
in the air and the willow-herb straggled over the heaps of rubble; and the
places where the bombs had cleared a larger patch and there had sprung up
sordid colonies of wooden dwellings like chicken-houses? But it was no use, he
could not remember: nothing remained of his childhood except a series of
bright-lit tableaux occurring against no background and mostly unintelligible.
The Ministry
of Truth -- Minitrue, in Newspeak* -- was startlingly different from any other
object in sight. It was an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering white
concrete, soaring up, terrace after terrace, 300 metres into the air. From
where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its white face
in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS
SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS
STRENGTH
The Ministry
of Truth contained, it was said, three thousand rooms above ground level, and
corresponding ramifications below. Scattered about London there were just three
other buildings of similar appearance and size. So completely did they dwarf
the surrounding architecture that from the roof of Victory Mansions you could
see all four of them simultaneously. They were the homes of the four Ministries
between which the entire apparatus of government was divided. The Ministry of
Truth, which concerned itself with news, entertainment, education, and the fine
arts. The Ministry of Peace, which concerned itself with war. The Ministry of
Love, which maintained law and order. And the Ministry of Plenty, which was responsible
for economic affairs. Their names, in Newspeak: Minitrue, Minipax, Miniluv, and
Miniplenty.
The Ministry
of Love was the really frightening one. There were no windows in it at all.
Winston had never been inside the Ministry of Love, nor within half a kilometre
of it. It was a place impossible to enter except on official business, and then
only by penetrating through a maze of barbed-wire entanglements, steel doors,
and hidden machine-gun nests. Even the streets leading up to its outer barriers
were roamed by gorilla-faced guards in black uniforms, armed with jointed
truncheons.
Winston
turned round abruptly. He had set his features into the expression of quiet
optimism which it was advisable to wear when facing the telescreen. He crossed
the room into the tiny kitchen. By leaving the Ministry at this time of day he
had sacrificed his lunch in the canteen, and he was aware that there was no
food in the kitchen except a hunk of dark-coloured bread which had got to be
saved for tomorrow's breakfast. He took down from the shelf a bottle of
colourless liquid with a plain white label marked VICTORY GIN. It gave off a
sickly, oily smell, as of Chinese ricespirit. Winston poured out nearly a
teacupful, nerved himself for a shock, and gulped it down like a dose of
medicine.
Instantly his
face turned scarlet and the water ran out of his eyes. The stuff was like
nitric acid, and moreover, in
swallowing it
one had the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber club.
The next moment, however, the burning in his belly died down and the world
began to look more cheerful. He took a cigarette from a crumpled packet marked
VICTORY CIGARETTES and incautiously held it upright, whereupon the tobacco fell
out on to the floor. With the next he was more successful. He went back to the
living-room and sat down at a small table that stood to the left of the
telescreen. From the table drawer he took out a penholder, a bottle of ink, and
a thick, quarto-sized blank book with a red back and a marbled cover.
For some
reason the telescreen in the living-room was in an unusual position. Instead of
being placed, as was normal, in the end wall, where it could command the whole
room, it was in the longer wall, opposite the window. To one side of it there
was a shallow alcove in which Winston was now sitting, and which, when the
flats were built, had probably been intended to hold bookshelves. By sitting in
the alcove, and keeping well back, Winston was able to remain outside the range
of the telescreen, so far as sight went. He could be heard, of course, but so
long as he stayed in his present position he could not be seen. It was partly
the unusual geography of the room that had suggested to him the thing that he
was now about to do.
But it had
also been suggested by the book that he had just taken out of the drawer. It
was a peculiarly beautiful book. Its smooth creamy paper, a little yellowed by
age, was of a kind that had not been manufactured for at least forty years
past. He could guess, however, that the book was much older than that. He had
seen it lying in the window of a frowsy little junk-shop in a slummy quarter of
the town (just what quarter he did not now remember) and had been stricken
immediately by an overwhelming desire to possess it. Party members were
supposed not to go into ordinary shops ('dealing on the free market', it was
called), but the rule was not strictly kept, because there were various things,
such as shoelaces and razor blades, which it was impossible to get hold of in
any other way. He had given a quick glance up and down the street and then had
slipped inside and bought the book for two dollars fifty. At the time he was
not conscious of wanting it for any particular purpose. He had carried it
guiltily home in his briefcase. Even with nothing written in it, it was a
compromising possession.
The thing
that he was about to do was to open a diary. This was not illegal (nothing was
illegal, since there were no
longer any
laws), but if detected it was reasonably certain that it would be punished by
death, or at least by twenty-five
years in a
forcedlabour camp. Winston fitted a nib into the penholder and sucked it to get
the grease off. The pen was an archaic instrument, seldom used even for
signatures, and he had procured one, furtively and with some difficulty, simply
because of a feeling that the beautiful creamy paper deserved to be written on
with a real nib instead of being scratched with an ink-pencil. Actually he was
not used to writing by hand. Apart from very short notes, it was usual to
dictate everything into the speakwrite which was of course impossible for his
present purpose. He dipped the pen into the ink and then faltered for just a
second. A tremor had gone through his bowels. To mark the paper was the
decisive act. In small clumsy letters he wrote:
April 4th,
1984.
He sat back.
A sense of complete helplessness had descended upon him. To begin with, he did
not know with any certainty that this was 1984. It must be round about that
date, since he was fairly sure that his age was thirty-nine, and he believed
that he had been born in 1944 or 1945; but it was never possible nowadays to
pin down any date within a year or two.
For whom, it
suddenly occurred to him to wonder, was he writing this diary? For the future,
for the unborn. His mind
hovered for a
moment round the doubtful date on the page, and then fetched up with a bump
against the Newspeak word doublethink. For the first time the magnitude of what
he had undertaken came home to him. How could you communicate with the future?
It was of its nature impossible. Either the future would resemble the present,
in which case it would not listen to him: or it would be different from it, and
his predicament would be meaningless.
For some time
he sat gazing stupidly at the paper. The telescreen had changed over to
strident military music. It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost
the power of expressing himself, but even to have forgotten what it was that he
had originally intended to say. For weeks past he had been making ready for
this moment, and it had never crossed his mind that anything would be needed
except courage. The actual writing would be easy. All he had to do was to
transfer to paper the interminable restless monologue that had been running
inside his head, literally for years. At this moment, however, even the
monologue had dried up. Moreover his varicose ulcer had begun itching
unbearably. He dared not scratch it, because if he did so it always became
inflamed. The seconds were ticking by. He was conscious of nothing except the
blankness of the page in front of him, the itching of the skin above his ankle,
the blaring of the music, and a slight booziness caused by the gin.
Suddenly he
began writing in sheer panic, only imperfectly aware of what he was setting
down. His small but childish handwriting straggled up and down the page,
shedding first its capital letters and finally even its full stops:
April 4th,
1984. Last night to the flicks. All war films. One very good one of a ship full
of refugees being bombed somewhere in the Mediterranean. Audience much amused
by shots of a great huge fat man trying to swim away with a helicopter after
him, first you saw him wallowing along in the water like a porpoise, then you
saw him through the helicopters gunsights, then he was full of holes and the
sea round him turned pink and he sank as suddenly as though the holes had let
in the water, audience shouting with laughter when he sank. then you saw a
lifeboat full of children with a helicopter hovering over it. there was a
middle-aged woman might have been a jewess sitting up in the bow with a little
boy about three years old in her arms. little boy screaming with fright and
hiding his head between her breasts as if he was trying to burrow right into
her and the woman putting her arms round him and comforting him although she
was blue with fright herself, all the time covering him up as much as possible
as if she thought her arms could keep the bullets off him. then the helicopter
planted a 20 kilo bomb in among them terrific flash and the boat went all to
matchwood. then there was a wonderful shot of a child's arm going up up up
right up into the air a helicopter with a camera in its nose must have followed
it up and there was a lot of applause from the party seats but a woman down in
the prole part of the house suddenly started kicking up a fuss and shouting
they didnt oughter of showed it not in front of kids they didnt it aint right
not in front of kids it aint until the police turned her turned her out i dont
suppose anything happened to her nobody cares what the proles say typical prole
reaction they never
Winston
stopped writing, partly because he was suffering from cramp. He did not know
what had made him pour out this stream of rubbish. But the curious thing was
that while he was doing so a totally different memory had clarified itself in
his mind, to the point where he almost felt equal to writing it down. It was,
he now realized, because of this other incident that he had suddenly decided to
come home and begin the diary today.
It had
happened that morning at the Ministry, if anything so nebulous could be said to
happen.
It was nearly
eleven hundred, and in the Records Department, where Winston worked, they were
dragging the chairs out of the cubicles and grouping them in the centre of the
hall opposite the big telescreen, in preparation for the Two Minutes Hate.
Winston was just taking his place in one of the middle rows when two people
whom he knew by sight, but had never spoken to, came unexpectedly into the
room. One of them was a girl whom he often passed in the corridors. He did not
know her name, but he knew that she worked in the Fiction Department.
Presumably -- since he had sometimes seen her with oily hands and carrying a
spanner she had some mechanical job on one of the novel-writing machines. She
was a bold-looking girl, of about twenty- seven, with thick hair, a freckled
face, and swift, athletic movements. A narrow scarlet sash, emblem of the
Junior Anti-Sex League, was wound several times round the waist of her
overalls, just tightly enough to bring out the shapeliness of her hips. Winston
had disliked her from the very first moment of seeing her. He knew the reason.
It was because of the atmosphere of hockey-fields and cold baths and community hikes
and general clean- mindedness which she managed to carry about with her. He
disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones. It was
always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted
adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and
nosers-out of unorthodoxy. But this particular girl gave him the impression of
being more dangerous than most. Once when they passed in the corridor she gave
him a quick sidelong glance which seemed to pierce right into him and for a
moment had filled him with black terror. The idea had even crossed his mind
that she might be an agent of the Thought Police. That, it was true, was very
unlikely. Still, he continued to feel a peculiar uneasiness, which had fear mixed
up in it as well as hostility, whenever she was anywhere near him.
The other
person was a man named O'Brien, a member of the Inner Party and holder of some
post so important and remote that Winston had only a dim idea of its nature. A
momentary hush passed over the group of people round the chairs as they saw the
black overalls of an Inner Party member approaching. O'Brien was a large, burly
man with a thick neck and a coarse, humorous, brutal face. In spite of his
formidable appearance he had a certain charm of manner. He had a trick of
resettling his spectacles on his nose which was curiously disarming -- in some
indefinable way, curiously civilized. It was a gesture which, if anyone had
still thought in such terms, might have recalled an eighteenth-century nobleman
offering his snuffbox. Winston had seen O'Brien perhaps a dozen times in almost
as many years. He felt deeply drawn to him, and not solely because he was
intrigued by the contrast between O'Brien's urbane manner and his
prize-fighter's physique. Much more it was because of a secretly held belief --
or perhaps not even a belief, merely a hope -- that O'Brien's political
orthodoxy was not perfect. Something in his face suggested it irresistibly. And
again, perhaps it was not even unorthodoxy that was written in his face, but
simply intelligence. But at any rate he had the appearance of being a person
that you could talk to if somehow you could cheat the telescreen and get him
alone. Winston had never made the smallest effort to verify this guess: indeed,
there was no way of doing so. At this moment O'Brien glanced at his
wrist-watch, saw that it was nearly eleven hundred, and evidently decided to
stay in the Records Department until the Two Minutes Hate was over. He took a
chair in the same row as Winston, a couple of places away. A small,
sandy-haired woman who worked in the next cubicle to Winston was between them.
The girl with dark hair was sitting immediately behind.
The next
moment a hideous, grinding speech, as of some monstrous machine running without
oil, burst from the big telescreen at the end of the room. It was a noise that
set one's teeth on edge and bristled the hair at the back of one's neck. The
Hate had started.
As usual, the
face of Emmanuel Goldstein, the Enemy of the People, had flashed on to the
screen. There were hisses here and there among the audience. The little
sandy-haired woman gave a squeak of mingled fear and disgust. Goldstein was the
renegade and backslider who once, long ago (how long ago, nobody quite remembered),
had been one of the leading figures of the Party, almost on a level with Big
Brother himself, and then had engaged in counter-revolutionary activities, had
been condemned to death, and had mysteriously escaped and disappeared. The
programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day, but there was none
in which Goldstein was not the principal figure. He was the primal traitor, the
earliest defiler of the Party's purity. All subsequent crimes against the
Party, all treacheries, acts of sabotage, heresies, deviations, sprang directly
out of his teaching. Somewhere or other he was still alive and hatching his
conspiracies: perhaps somewhere beyond the sea, under the protection of his
foreign paymasters, perhaps even -- so it was occasionally rumoured -- in some
hiding-place in Oceania itself.
Winston's
diaphragm was constricted. He could never see the face of Goldstein without a
painful mixture of emotions. It was a lean Jewish face, with a great fuzzy
aureole of white hair and a small goatee beard -- a clever face, and yet
somehow inherently despicable, with a kind of senile silliness in the long thin
nose, near the end of which a pair of spectacles was perched. It resembled the
face of a sheep, and the voice, too, had a sheep-like quality. Goldstein was
delivering his usual venomous attack upon the doctrines of the Party -- an
attack so exaggerated and perverse that a child should have been able to see
through it, and yet just plausible enough to fill one with an alarmed feeling
that other people, less level-headed than oneself, might be taken in by it. He
was abusing Big Brother, he was denouncing the dictatorship of the Party, he
was demanding the immediate conclusion of peace with Eurasia, he was advocating
freedom of speech, freedom of the Press, freedom of assembly, freedom of
thought, he was crying hysterically that the revolution had been betrayed --
and all this in rapid polysyllabic speech which was a sort of parody of the
habitual style of the orators of the Party, and even contained Newspeak words:
more Newspeak words, indeed, than any Party member would normally use in real
life. And all the while, lest one should be in any doubt as to the reality
which Goldstein's specious claptrap covered, behind his head on the telescreen
there marched the endless columns of the Eurasian army -- row after row of
solid-looking men with expressionless Asiatic faces, who swam up to the surface
of the screen and vanished, to be replaced by others exactly similar. The dull
rhythmic tramp of the soldiers' boots formed the background to Goldstein's
bleating voice.
Before the
Hate had proceeded for thirty seconds, uncontrollable exclamations of rage were
breaking out from half the people in the room. The self-satisfied sheep-like
face on the screen, and the terrifying power of the Eurasian army behind it,
were too much to be borne: besides, the sight or even the thought of Goldstein
produced fear and anger automatically. He was an object of hatred more constant
than either Eurasia or Eastasia, since when Oceania was at war with one of
these Powers it was generally at peace with the other. But what was strange was
that although Goldstein was hated and despised by everybody, although every day
and a thousand times a day, on platforms, on the telescreen, in newspapers, in
books, his theories were refuted, smashed, ridiculed, held up to the general
gaze for the pitiful rubbish that they were in spite of all this, his influence
never seemed to grow less. Always there were fresh dupes waiting to be seduced
by him. A day never passed when spies and saboteurs acting under his directions
were not unmasked by the Thought Police. He was the commander of a vast shadowy
army, an underground network of conspirators dedicated to the overthrow of the
State. The Brotherhood, its name was supposed to be. There were also whispered
stories of a terrible book, a compendium of all the heresies, of which
Goldstein was the author and which circulated clandestinely here and there. It
was a book without a title. People referred to it, if at all, simply as the
book. But one knew of such things only through vague rumours. Neither the
Brotherhood nor the book was a subject that any ordinary Party member would
mention if there was a way of avoiding it.
In its second
minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their
places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the
maddening bleating voice that came from the screen. The little sandy- haired
woman had turned bright pink, and her mouth was opening and shutting like that
of a landed fish. Even O'Brien's heavy face was flushed. He was sitting very
straight in his chair, his powerful chest swelling and quivering as though he
were standing up to the assault of a wave. The dark-haired girl behind Winston
had begun crying out 'Swine! Swine! Swine!' and suddenly she picked up a heavy
Newspeak dictionary and flung it at the screen. It struck Goldstein's nose and
bounced off; the voice continued inexorably. In a lucid moment Winston found
that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the
rung of his chair. The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that
one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to
avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A
hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to
smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of
people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a
grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract,
undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the
flame of a blowlamp. Thus, at one moment Winston's hatred was not turned
against Goldstein at all, but, on the contrary, against Big Brother, the Party,
and the Thought Police; and at such moments his heart went out to the lonely,
derided heretic on the screen, sole guardian of truth and sanity in a world of
lies. And yet the very next instant he was at one with the people about him,
and all that was said of Goldstein seemed to him to be true. At those moments
his secret loathing of Big Brother changed into adoration, and Big Brother
seemed to tower up, an invincible, fearless protector, standing like a rock
against the hordes of Asia, and Goldstein, in spite of his isolation, his
helplessness, and the doubt that hung about his very existence, seemed like
some sinister enchanter, capable by the mere power of his voice of wrecking the
structure of civilization.
It was even
possible, at moments, to switch one's hatred this way or that by a voluntary
act. Suddenly, by the sort of violent effort with which one wrenches one's head
away from the pillow in a nightmare, Winston succeeded in transferring his
hatred from the face on the screen to the dark-haired girl behind him. Vivid,
beautiful hallucinations flashed through his mind. He would flog her to death
with a rubber truncheon. He would tie her naked to a stake and shoot her full
of arrows like Saint Sebastian. He would ravish her and cut her throat at the
moment of climax. Better than before, moreover, he realized why it was that he
hated her. He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless, because
he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so, because round her sweet
supple waist, which seemed to ask you to encircle it with your arm, there was
only the odious scarlet sash, aggressive symbol of chastity.
The Hate rose
to its climax. The voice of Goldstein had become an actual sheep's bleat, and
for an instant the face changed into that of a sheep. Then the sheep-face
melted into the figure of a Eurasian soldier who seemed to be advancing, huge
and terrible, his sub-machine gun roaring, and seeming to spring out of the
surface of the screen, so that some of the people in the front row actually
flinched backwards in their seats. But in the same moment, drawing a deep sigh
of relief from everybody, the hostile figure melted into the face of Big
Brother, black-haired, blackmoustachio'd, full of power and mysterious calm,
and so vast that it almost filled up the screen. Nobody heard what Big Brother
was saying. It was merely a few words of encouragement, the sort of words that
are uttered in the din of battle, not distinguishable individually but
restoring confidence by the fact of being spoken. Then the face of Big Brother
faded away again, and instead the three slogans of the Party stood out in bold
capitals:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
But the face
of Big Brother seemed to persist for several seconds on the screen, as though
the impact that it had made on everyone's eyeballs was too vivid to wear off
immediately. The little sandyhaired woman had flung herself forward over the
back of the chair in front of her. With a tremulous murmur that sounded like
'My Saviour!' she extended her arms towards the screen. Then she buried her
face in her hands. It was apparent that she was uttering a prayer.
At this
moment the entire group of people broke into a deep, slow, rhythmical chant of
'B-B! . . . B-B!' -- over and over again, very slowly, with a long pause
between the first 'B' and the second-a heavy, murmurous sound, somehow
curiously savage, in the background of which one seemed to hear the stamp of
naked feet and the throbbing of tom-toms. For perhaps as much as thirty seconds
they kept it up. It was a refrain that was often heard in moments of
overwhelming emotion. Partly it was a sort of hymn to the wisdom and majesty of
Big Brother, but still more it was an act of self-hypnosis, a deliberate
drowning of consciousness by means of rhythmic noise. Winston's entrails seemed
to grow cold. In the Two Minutes Hate he could not help sharing in the general
delirium, but this sub-human chanting of 'B- B! . . . B-B !' always filled him
with horror. Of course he chanted with the rest: it was impossible to do
otherwise. To dissemble your feelings, to control your face, to do what
everyone else was doing, was an instinctive reaction. But there was a space of
a couple of seconds during which the expression of his eyes might conceivably
have betrayed him. And it was exactly at this moment that the significant thing
happened -- if, indeed, it did happen.
Momentarily
he caught O'Brien's eye. O'Brien had stood up. He had taken off his spectacles
and was in the act of resettling them on his nose with his characteristic
gesture. But there was a fraction of a second when their eyes met, and for as
long as it took to happen Winston knew-yes, he knew !-that O'Brien was thinking
the same thing as himself. An unmistakable message had passed. It was as though
their two minds had opened and the thoughts were flowing from one into the
other through their eyes. 'I am with you,' O'Brien seemed to be saying to him.
'I know precisely what you are feeling. I know all about your contempt, your
hatred, your disgust. But don't worry, I am on your side!' And then the flash
of intelligence was gone, and O'Brien's face was as inscrutable as everybody
else's.
That was all,
and he was already uncertain whether it had happened. Such incidents never had
any sequel. All that they did was to keep alive in him the belief, or hope,
that others besides himself were the enemies of the Party. Perhaps the rumours
of vast underground conspiracies were true after all -- perhaps the Brotherhood
really existed ! It was impossible, in spite of the endless arrests and
confessions and executions, to be sure that the Brotherhood was not simply a
myth. Some days he believed in it, some days not. There was no evidence, only fleeting
glimpses that might mean anything or nothing: snatches of overheard
conversation, faint scribbles on lavatory walls -- once, even, when two
strangers met, a small movement of the hand which had looked as though it might
be a signal of recognition. It was all guesswork: very likely he had imagined
everything. He had gone back to his cubicle without looking at O'Brien again.
The idea of following up their momentary contact hardly crossed his mind. It
would have been inconceivably dangerous even if he had known how to set about
doing it. For a second, two seconds, they had exchanged an equivocal glance,
and that was the end of the story. But even that was a memorable event, in the
locked loneliness in which one had to live.
Winston
roused himself and sat up straighter. He let out a belch. The gin was rising
from his stomach.
His eyes
re-focused on the page. He discovered that while he sat helplessly musing he
had also been writing, as though by automatic action. And it was no longer the
same cramped, awkward handwriting as before. His pen had slid voluptuously over
the smooth paper, printing in large neat capitals
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER
over and over
again, filling half a page.
He could not
help feeling a twinge of panic. It was absurd, since the writing of those
particular words was not more dangerous than the initial act of opening the
diary, but for a moment he was tempted to tear out the spoiled pages and abandon
the enterprise altogether.
He did not do
so, however, because he knew that it was useless. Whether he wrote DOWN WITH
BIG BROTHER, or whether he refrained from writing it, made no difference.
Whether he went on with the diary, or whether he did not go on with it, made no
difference. The Thought Police would get him just the same. He had committed --
would still have committed, even if he had never set pen to paper -- the
essential crime that contained all others in itself. Thoughtcrime, they called
it. Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed for ever. You might
dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were
bound to get you.
It was always
at night -- the arrests invariably happened at night. The sudden jerk out of
sleep, the rough hand shaking your shoulder, the lights glaring in your eyes,
the ring of hard faces round the bed. In the vast majority of cases there was
no trial, no report of the arrest. People simply disappeared, always during the
night. Your name was removed from the registers, every record of everything you
had ever done was wiped out, your one-time existence was denied and then
forgotten. You were abolished, annihilated: vaporized was the usual word.
For a moment
he was seized by a kind of hysteria. He began writing in a hurried untidy
scrawl:
theyll shoot
me i don't care theyll shoot me in the back of the neck i dont care down with
big brother they always shoot you in the back of the neck i dont care down with
big brother
He sat back
in his chair, slightly ashamed of himself, and laid down the pen. The next
moment he started violently. There was a knocking at the door.
Already! He
sat as still as a mouse, in the futile hope that whoever it was might go away
after a single attempt. But no, the knocking was repeated. The worst thing of
all would be to delay. His heart was thumping like a drum, but his face,
from long
habit, was probably expressionless. He got up and moved heavily towards the
door.
x x x
As he put his
hand to the door-knob Winston saw that he had left the diary open on the table.
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER was written all over it, in letters almost big enough to
be legible across the room. It was an inconceivably stupid thing to have done.
But, he realized, even in his panic he had not wanted to smudge the creamy
paper by shutting the book while the ink was wet.
He drew in
his breath and opened the door. Instantly a warm wave of relief flowed through
him. A colourless, crushed-looking woman, with wispy hair and a lined face, was
standing outside.
'Oh,
comrade,' she began in a dreary, whining sort of voice, 'I thought I heard you
come in. Do you think you could come across and have a look at our kitchen
sink? It's got blocked up and-'
It was Mrs
Parsons, the wife of a neighbour on the same floor. ('Mrs' was a word somewhat
discountenanced by the Party -- you were supposed to call everyone 'comrade' --
but with some women one used it instinctively.) She was a woman of about
thirty, but looking much older. One had the impression that there was dust in
the creases of her face. Winston followed her down the passage. These amateur
repair jobs were an almost daily irritation. Victory Mansions were old flats,
built in 1930 or thereabouts, and were falling to pieces. The plaster flaked
constantly from ceilings and walls, the pipes burst in every hard frost, the
roof leaked whenever there was snow, the heating system was usually running at
half steam when it was not closed down altogether from motives of economy.
Repairs, except what you could do for yourself, had to be sanctioned by remote
committees which were liable to hold up even the mending of a window- pane for
two years.
'Of course
it's only because Tom isn't home,' said Mrs Parsons vaguely.
The Parsons'
flat was bigger than Winston's, and dingy in a different way. Everything had a
battered, trampled-on look, as though the place had just been visited by some
large violent animal. Games impedimenta -- hockey-sticks, boxing-gloves. A
burst football, a pair of sweaty shorts turned inside out -- lay all over the
floor, and on the table there was a litter of dirty dishes and dog-eared
exercise-books. On the walls were scarlet banners of the Youth League and the
Spies, and a full-sized poster of Big Brother. There was the usual boiled-cabbage
smell, common to the whole building, but it was shot through by a sharper reek
of sweat, which-one knew this at the first sniff, though it was hard to say how
was the sweat of some person not present at the moment. In another room someone
with a comb and a piece of toilet paper was trying to keep tune with the
military music which was still issuing from the telescreen.
'It's the
children,' said Mrs Parsons, casting a half- apprehensive glance at the door.
'They haven't been out today. And of course-'
She had a
habit of breaking off her sentences in the middle. The kitchen sink was full
nearly to the brim with filthy greenish water which smelt worse than ever of
cabbage. Winston knelt down and examined the angle-joint of the pipe. He hated
using his hands, and he hated bending down, which was always liable to start
him coughing. Mrs Parsons looked on helplessly.
'Of course if
Tom was home he'd put it right in a moment,' she said. 'He loves anything like
that. He's ever so good with his hands, Tom is.'
Parsons was
Winston's fellow-employee at the Ministry of Truth. He was a fattish but active
man of paralysing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms -- one of those
completely unquestioning, devoted drudges on whom, more even than on the
Thought Police, the stability of the Party depended. At thirty-five he had just
been unwillingly evicted from the Youth League, and before graduating into the
Youth League he had managed to stay on in the Spies for a year beyond the
statutory age. At the Ministry he was employed in some subordinate post for
which intelligence was not required, but on the other hand he was a leading
figure on the Sports Committee and all the other committees engaged in
organizing community hikes, spontaneous demonstrations, savings campaigns, and
voluntary activities generally. He would inform you with quiet pride, between
whiffs of his pipe, that he had put in an appearance at the Community Centre
every evening for the past four years. An overpowering smell of sweat, a sort
of unconscious testimony to the strenuousness of his life, followed him about
wherever he went, and even remained behind him after he had gone.
'Have you got
a spanner?-said Winston, fiddling with the nut on the angle-joint.
'A spanner,'
said Mrs Parsons, immediately becoming invertebrate. 'I don't know, I'm sure.
Perhaps the children -'
There was a
trampling of boots and another blast on the comb as the children charged into
the living-room. Mrs Parsons brought the spanner. Winston let out the water and
disgustedly removed the clot of human hair that had blocked up the pipe. He
cleaned his fingers as best he could in the cold water from the tap and went
back into the other room.
'Up with your
hands!' yelled a savage voice.
A handsome,
tough-looking boy of nine had popped up from behind the table and was menacing
him with a toy automatic pistol, while his small sister, about two years
younger, made the same gesture with a fragment of wood. Both of them were
dressed in the blue shorts, grey shirts, and red neckerchiefs which were the
uniform of the Spies. Winston raised his hands above his head, but with an
uneasy feeling, so vicious was the boy's demeanour, that it was not altogether
a game.
'You're a
traitor!' yelled the boy. 'You're a thought- criminal! You're a Eurasian spy!
I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!'
Suddenly they
were both leaping round him, shouting 'Traitor!' and 'Thought-criminal!' the
little girl imitating her brother in every movement. It was somehow slightly frightening,
like the gambolling of tiger cubs which will soon grow up into man-eaters.
There was a sort of calculating ferocity in the boy's eye, a quite evident
desire to hit or kick Winston and a consciousness of being very nearly big
enough to do so. It was a good job it was not a real pistol he was holding,
Winston thought.
Mrs Parsons'
eyes flitted nervously from Winston to the children, and back again. In the
better light of the living-room he noticed with interest that there actually
was dust in the creases of her face.
'They do get
so noisy,' she said. 'They're disappointed because they couldn't go to see the
hanging, that's what it is. I'm too busy to take them. and Tom won't be back
from work in time.'
'Why can't we
go and see the hanging?' roared the boy in his huge voice.
'Want to see
the hanging ! Want to see the hanging!' chanted the little girl, still capering
round.
Some Eurasian
prisoners, guilty of war crimes, were to be hanged in the Park that evening,
Winston remembered. This happened about once a month, and was a popular
spectacle. Children always clamoured to be taken to see it. He took his leave
of Mrs Parsons and made for the door. But he had not gone six steps down the
passage when something hit the back of his neck an agonizingly painful blow. It
was as though a red-hot wire had been jabbed into him. He spun round just in
time to see Mrs Parsons dragging her son back into the doorway while the boy
pocketed a catapult.
'Goldstein!'
bellowed the boy as the door closed on him. But what most struck Winston was
the look of helpless fright on the woman's greyish face.
Back in the
flat he stepped quickly past the telescreen and sat down at the table again,
still rubbing his neck. The music from the telescreen had stopped. Instead, a
clipped military voice was reading out, with a sort of brutal relish, a
description of the armaments of the new Floating Fortress which had just been
anchored between lceland and the Faroe lslands.
With those
children, he thought, that wretched woman must lead a life of terror. Another
year, two years, and they would be watching her night and day for symptoms of
unorthodoxy. Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all
was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically
turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no
tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the
contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it. The songs,
the processions, the banners, the hiking, the drilling with dummy rifles, the
yelling of slogans, the worship of Big Brother -- it was all a sort of glorious
game to them. All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of
the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was
almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children.
And with good reason, for hardly a week passed in which The Times did not carry
a paragraph describing how some eavesdropping little sneak -- 'child hero' was
the phrase generally used -- had overheard some compromising remark and
denounced its parents to the Thought Police.
The sting of
the catapult bullet had worn off. He picked up his pen half-heartedly,
wondering whether he could find something more to write in the diary. Suddenly
he began thinking of O'Brien again.
Years ago --
how long was it? Seven years it must be -- he had dreamed that he was walking
through a pitch-dark room. And someone sitting to one side of him had said as
he passed: 'We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.' It was said
very quietly, almost casually -- a statement, not a command. He had walked on
without pausing. What was curious was that at the time, in the dream, the words
had not made much impression on him. It was only later and by degrees that they
had seemed to take on significance. He could not now remember whether it was
before or after having the dream that he had seen O'Brien for the first time,
nor could he remember when he had first identified the voice as O'Brien's. But
at any rate the identification existed. It was O'Brien who had spoken to him
out of the dark.
Winston had
never been able to feel sure -- even after this morning's flash of the eyes it
was still impossible to be sure whether O'Brien was a friend or an enemy. Nor
did it even seem to matter greatly. There was a link of understanding between
them, more important than affection or partisanship. 'We shall meet in the
place where there is no darkness,' he had said. Winston did not know what it
meant, only that in some way or another it would come true.
The voice
from the telescreen paused. A trumpet call, clear and beautiful, floated into
the stagnant air. The voice continued raspingly:
'Attention!
Your attention, please ! A newsflash has this moment arrived from the Malabar
front. Our forces in South India have won a glorious victory. I am authorized
to say that the action we are now reporting may well bring the war within
measurable distance of its end. Here is the newsflash -'
Bad news
coming, thought Winston. And sure enough, following on a gory description of
the annihilation of a Eurasian army, with stupendous figures of killed and
prisoners, came the announcement that, as from next week, the chocolate ration
would be reduced from thirty grammes to twenty.
Winston
belched again. The gin was wearing off, leaving a deflated feeling. The
telescreen -- perhaps to celebrate the victory, perhaps to drown the memory of
the lost chocolate -- crashed into 'Oceania, 'tis for thee'. You were supposed
to stand to attention. However, in his present position he was invisible.
'Oceania,
'tis for thee' gave way to lighter music. Winston walked over to the window,
keeping his back to the telescreen. The day was still cold and clear. Somewhere
far away a rocket bomb exploded with a dull, reverberating roar. About twenty
or thirty of them a week were falling on London at present.
Down in the
street the wind flapped the torn poster to and fro, and the word INGSOC
fitfully appeared and vanished. Ingsoc. The sacred principles of Ingsoc.
Newspeak, doublethink, the mutability of the past. He felt as though he were
wandering in the forests of the sea bottom, lost in a monstrous world where he
himself was the monster. He was alone. The past was dead, the future was
unimaginable. What certainty had he that a single human creature now living was
on his side? And what way of knowing that the dominion of the Party would not
endure for ever? Like an answer, the three slogans on the white face of the
Ministry of Truth came back to him:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
He took a
twenty-five cent piece out of his pocket. There, too, in tiny clear lettering,
the same slogans were inscribed, and on the other face of the coin the head of
Big Brother. Even from the coin the eyes pursued you. On coins, on stamps, on
the covers of books, on banners, on posters, and on the wrappings of a
cigarette Packet -- everywhere. Always the eyes watching you and the voice
enveloping you. Asleep or awake, working or eating, indoors or out of doors, in
the bath or in bed -- no escape. Nothing was your own except the few cubic
centimetres inside your skull.
The sun had
shifted round, and the myriad windows of the Ministry of Truth, with the light
no longer shining on them, looked grim as the loopholes of a fortress. His
heart quailed before the enormous pyramidal shape. It was too strong, it could
not be stormed. A thousand rocket bombs would not batter it down. He wondered
again for whom he was writing the diary. For the future, for the past -- for an
age that might be imaginary. And in front of him there lay not death but
annihilation. The diary would be reduced to ashes and himself to vapour. Only
the Thought Police would read what he had written, before they wiped it out of
existence and out of memory. How could you make appeal to the future when not a
trace of you, not even an anonymous word scribbled on a piece of paper, could
physically survive?
The
telescreen struck fourteen. He must leave in ten minutes. He had to be back at
work by fourteen-thirty.
Curiously,
the chiming of the hour seemed to have put new heart into him. He was a lonely
ghost uttering a truth that nobody would ever hear. But so long as he uttered
it, in some obscure way the continuity was not broken. It was not by making
yourself heard but by staying sane that you carried on the human heritage. He
went back to the table, dipped his pen, and wrote:
To the future
or to the past, to a time when thought is free, when men are different from one
another and do not live alone -- to a time when truth exists and what is done
cannot be undone:
From the age
of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of Big Brother, from the
age of doublethink -- greetings !
He was
already dead, he reflected. It seemed to him that it was only now, when he had
begun to be able to formulate his thoughts, that he had taken the decisive
step. The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. He wrote:
Thoughtcrime
does not entail death: thoughtcrime IS death.
Now he had
recognized himself as a dead man it became important to stay alive as long as
possible. Two fingers of his right hand were inkstained. It was exactly the
kind of detail that might betray you. Some nosing zealot in the Ministry (a woman,
probably: someone like the little sandy- haired woman or the dark-haired girl
from the Fiction Department) might start wondering why he had been writing
during the lunch interval, why he had used an oldfashioned pen, what he had
been writing -- and then drop a hint in the appropriate quarter. He went to the
bathroom and carefully scrubbed the ink away with the gritty dark-brown soap
which rasped your skin like sandpaper and was therefore well adapted for this
purpose.
He put the
diary away in the drawer. It was quite useless to think of hiding it, but he
could at least make sure whether or not its existence had been discovered. A
hair laid across the page-ends was too obvious. With the tip of his finger he
picked up an identifiable grain of whitish dust and deposited it on the corner
of the cover, where it was bound to be shaken off if the book was moved.
x x x
Winston was
dreaming of his mother.
He must, he
thought, have been ten or eleven years old when his mother had disappeared. She
was a tall, statuesque, rather silent woman with slow movements and magnificent
fair hair. His father he remembered more vaguely as dark and thin, dressed
always in neat dark clothes (Winston remembered especially the very thin soles
of his father's shoes) and wearing spectacles. The two of them must evidently
have been swallowed up in one of the first great purges of the fifties.
At this
moment his mother was sitting in some place deep down beneath him, with his
young sister in her arms. He did not remember his sister at all, except as a
tiny, feeble baby, always silent, with large, watchful eyes. Both of them were
looking up at him. They were down in some subterranean place -- the bottom of a
well, for instance, or a very deep grave -- but it was a place which, already
far below him, was itself moving downwards. They were in the saloon of a
sinking ship, looking up at him through the darkening water. There was still
air in the saloon, they could still see him and he them, but all the while they
were sinking down, down into the green waters which in another moment must hide
them from sight for ever. He was out in the light and air while they were being
sucked down to death, and they were down there because he was up here. He knew
it and they knew it, and he could see the knowledge in their faces. There was
no reproach either in their faces or in their hearts, only the knowledge that
they must die in order that he might remain alive, and that this was part of
the unavoidable order of things.
He could not remember what had happened, but
he knew in his dream that in some way the lives of his mother and his sister
had been sacrificed to his own. It was one of those dreams which, while
retaining the characteristic dream scenery, are a continuation of one's
intellectual life, and in which one becomes aware of facts and ideas which
still seem new and valuable after one is awake. The thing that now suddenly
struck Winston was that his mother's death, nearly thirty years ago, had been
tragic and sorrowful in a way that was no longer possible. Tragedy, he
perceived, belonged to the ancient time, to a time when there was still
privacy, love, and friendship, and when the members of a family stood by one
another without needing to know the reason. His mother's memory tore at his heart
because she had died loving him, when he was too young and selfish to love her
in return, and because somehow, he did not remember how, she had sacrificed
herself to a conception of loyalty that was private and unalterable. Such
things, he saw, could not happen today. Today there were fear, hatred, and
pain, but no dignity of emotion, no deep or complex sorrows. All this he seemed
to see in the large eyes of his mother and his sister, looking up at him
through the green water, hundreds of fathoms down and still sinking.
Suddenly he
was standing on short springy turf, on a summer evening when the slanting rays
of the sun gilded the ground. The landscape that he was looking at recurred so
often in his dreams that he was never fully certain whether or not he had seen
it in the real world. In his waking thoughts he called it the Golden Country.
It was an old, rabbit-bitten pasture, with a foot-track wandering across it and
a molehill here and there. In the ragged hedge on the opposite side of the
field the boughs of the elm trees were swaying very faintly in the breeze,
their leaves just stirring in dense masses like women's hair. Somewhere near at
hand, though out of sight, there was a clear, slow-moving stream where dace
were swimming in the pools under the willow trees.
The girl with
dark hair was coming towards them across the field. With what seemed a single
movement she tore off her clothes and flung them disdainfully aside. Her body
was white and smooth, but it aroused no desire in him, indeed he barely looked
at it. What overwhelmed him in that instant was admiration for the gesture with
which she had thrown her clothes aside. With its grace and carelessness it
seemed to annihilate a whole culture, a whole system of thought, as though Big
Brother and the Party and the Thought Police could all be swept into
nothingness by a single splendid movement of the arm. That too was a gesture
belonging to the ancient time. Winston woke up with the word 'Shakespeare' on
his lips.
The
telescreen was giving forth an ear-splitting whistle which continued on the
same note for thirty seconds. It was nought seven fifteen, getting-up time for
office workers. Winston wrenched his body out of bed -- naked, for a member of
the Outer Party received only 3,000 clothing coupons annually, and a suit of
pajamas was 600 -- and seized a dingy singlet and a pair of shorts that were
lying across a chair. The Physical Jerks would begin in three minutes. The next
moment he was doubled up by a violent coughing fit which nearly always attacked
him soon after waking up. It emptied his lungs so completely that he could only
begin breathing again by lying on his back and taking a series of deep gasps.
His veins had swelled with the effort of the cough, and the varicose ulcer had
started itching.
'Thirty to
forty group!' yapped a piercing female voice. ' Thirty to forty group! Take
your places, please. Thirties to forties!'
Winston
sprang to attention in front of the telescreen, upon which the image of a
youngish woman, scrawny but muscular, dressed in tunic and gym-shoes, had
already appeared.
'Arms bending
and stretching!' she rapped out. 'Take your time by me. One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four! Come on, comrades, put a bit of life into it! One, two,
three four! One two, three, four! . . .'
The pain of
the coughing fit had not quite driven out of Winston's mind the impression made
by his dream, and the rhythmic movements of the exercise restored it somewhat.
As he mechanically shot his arms back and forth, wearing on his face the look
of grim enjoyment which was considered proper during the Physical Jerks, he was
struggling to think his way backward into the dim period of his early
childhood. It was extraordinarily difficult. Beyond the late fifties everything
faded. When there were no external records that you could refer to, even the
outline of your own life lost its sharpness. You remembered huge events which
had quite probably not happened, you remembered the detail of incidents without
being able to recapture their atmosphere, and there were long blank periods to
which you could assign nothing. Everything had been different then. Even the
names of countries, and their shapes
on the map,
had been different. Airstrip One, for instance, had not been so called in those
days: it had been called England or Britain, though London, he felt fairly
certain, had always been called London.
Winston could
not definitely remember a time when his country had not been at war, but it was
evident that there had been a fairly long interval of peace during his
childhood, because one of his early memories was of an air raid which appeared
to take everyone by surprise. Perhaps it was the time when the atomic bomb had
fallen on Colchester. He did not remember the raid itself, but he did remember
his father's hand clutching his own as they hurried down, down, down into some
place deep in the earth, round and round a spiral staircase which rang under
his feet and which finally so wearied his legs that he began whimpering and
they had to stop and rest. His mother, in her slow, dreamy way, was following a
long way behind them. She was carrying his baby sister -- or perhaps it was
only a bundle of blankets that she was carrying: he was not certain whether his
sister had been born then. Finally they had emerged into a noisy, crowded place
which he had realized to be a Tube station.
There were
people sitting all over the stone-flagged floor, and other people, packed
tightly together, were sitting on metal bunks, one above the other. Winston and
his mother and father found themselves a place on the floor, and near them an
old man and an old woman were sitting side by side on a bunk. The old man had
on a decent dark suit and a black cloth cap pushed back from very white hair:
his face was scarlet and his eyes were blue and full of tears. He reeked of
gin. It seemed to breathe out of his skin in place of sweat, and one could have
fancied that the tears welling from his eyes were pure gin. But though slightly
drunk he was also suffering under some grief that was genuine and unbearable.
In his childish way Winston grasped that some terrible thing, something that
was beyond forgiveness and could never be remedied, had just happened. It also
seemed to him that he knew what it was. Someone whom the old man loved -- a little
granddaughter, perhaps had been killed. Every few minutes the old man kept
repeating:
'We didn't
ought to 'ave trusted 'em. I said so, Ma, didn't I? That's what comes of
trusting 'em. I said so all along. We didn't ought to 'ave trusted the
buggers.'
But which
buggers they didn't ought to have trusted Winston could not now remember.
Since about
that time, war had been literally continuous, though strictly speaking it had
not always been the same war. For several months during his childhood there had
been confused street fighting in London itself, some of which he remembered
vividly. But to trace out the history of the whole period, to say who was
fighting whom at any given moment, would have been utterly impossible, since no
written record, and no spoken word, ever made mention of any other alignment
than the existing one. At this moment, for example, in 1984 (if it was 1984),
Oceania was at war with Eurasia and in alliance with Eastasia. In no public or
private utterance was it ever admitted that the three powers had at any time
been grouped along different lines. Actually, as Winston well knew, it was only
four years since Oceania had been at war with Eastasia and in alliance with
Eurasia. But that was merely a piece of furtive knowledge which he happened to
possess because his memory was not satisfactorily under control. Officially the
change of partners had never happened. Oceania was at war with Eurasia:
therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment
always represented absolute evil, and it followed that any past or future
agreement with him was impossible.
The
frightening thing, he reflected for the ten thousandth time as he forced his
shoulders painfully backward (with hands on hips, they were gyrating their
bodies from the waist, an exercise that was supposed to be good for the back
muscles) -- the frightening thing was that it might all be true. If the Party
could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never
happened -- that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death?
The Party
said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia. He, Winston Smith,
knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four
years ago. But where did that knowledge exist? Only in his own consciousness,
which in any case must soon be annihilated. And if all others accepted the lie
which the Party imposed -if all records told the same tale -- then the lie
passed into history and became truth. 'Who controls the past,' ran the Party
slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.' And
yet the past, though of its nature alterable, never had been altered. Whatever
was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting. It was quite simple. All
that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory.
'Reality control', they called it: in Newspeak, 'doublethink'
'Stand easy!'
barked the instructress, a little more genially.
Winston sank
his arms to his sides and slowly refilled his lungs with air. His mind slid
away into the labyrinthine world of doublethink. To know and not to know, to be
conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to
hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory
and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate
morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and
that the Party was the guardian of democracy, to forget whatever it was
necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when
it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again: and above all, to apply
the same process to the process itself. That was the ultimate subtlety:
consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become
unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand
the word 'doublethink' involved the use of doublethink.
The
instructress had called them to attention again. 'And now let's see which of us
can touch our toes!' she said enthusiastically. 'Right over from the hips,
please, comrades. One-two! One- two! . . .'
Winston
loathed this exercise, which sent shooting pains all the way from his heels to
his buttocks and often ended by bringing on another coughing fit. The
half-pleasant quality went out of his meditations. The past, he reflected, had
not merely been altered, it had been actually destroyed. For how could you
establish even the most obvious fact when there existed no record outside your
own memory? He tried to remember in what year he had first heard mention of Big
Brother. He thought it must have been at some time in the sixties, but it was
impossible to be certain. In the Party histories, of course, Big Brother
figured as the leader and guardian of the Revolution since its very earliest
days. His exploits had been gradually pushed backwards in time until already
they extended into the fabulous world of the forties and the thirties, when the
capitalists in their strange cylindrical hats still rode through the streets of
London in great gleaming motor-cars or horse carriages with glass sides. There
was no knowing how much of this legend was true and how much invented. Winston
could not even remember at what date the Party itself had come into existence.
He did not believe he had ever heard the word Ingsoc before 1960, but it was
possible that in its Oldspeak form-'English Socialism', that is to say -- it
had been current earlier. Everything melted into mist. Sometimes, indeed, you
could put your finger on a definite lie. It was not true, for example, as was
claimed in the Party history books, that the Party had invented aeroplanes. He
remembered aeroplanes since his earliest childhood. But you could prove
nothing. There was never any evidence. Just once in his whole life he had held
in his hands unmistakable documentary proof of the falsification of an
historical fact. And on that occasion
'Smith !'
screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. '6079 Smith W.! Yes, you! Bend
lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please!
That's better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me.'
A sudden hot
sweat had broken out all over Winston's body. His face remained completely
inscrutable. Never show dismay! Never show resentment! A single flicker of the
eyes could give you away. He stood watching while the instructress raised her
arms above her head and -- one could not say gracefully, but with remarkable
neatness and efficiency -- bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers
under her toes.
'There,
comrades! That's how I want to see you doing it. Watch me again. I'm
thirty-nine and I've had four children. Now look.' She bent over again. 'You
see my knees aren't bent. You can all do it if you want to,' she added as she
straightened herself up. 'Anyone under forty- five is perfectly capable of
touching his toes. We don't all have the privilege of fighting in the front
line, but at least we can all keep fit. Remember our boys on the Malabar front!
And the sailors in the Floating Fortresses! Just think what they have to put up
with. Now try again. That's better, comrade, that's much better,' she added
encouragingly as Winston, with a violent lunge, succeeded in touching his toes
with knees unbent, for the first time in several years.
x x x
With the
deep, unconscious sigh which not even the nearness of the telescreen could
prevent him from uttering when his day's work started, Winston pulled the
speakwrite towards him, blew the dust from its mouthpiece, and put on his
spectacles. Then he unrolled and clipped together four small cylinders of paper
which had already flopped out of the pneumatic tube on the right-hand side of
his desk.
In the walls
of the cubicle there were three orifices. To the right of the speakwrite, a
small pneumatic tube for written messages, to the left, a larger one for
newspapers; and in the side wall, within easy reach of Winston's arm, a large
oblong slit protected by a wire grating. This last was for the disposal of
waste paper. Similar slits existed in thousands or tens of thousands throughout
the building, not only in every room but at short intervals in every corridor.
For some reason they were nicknamed memory holes. When one knew that any
document was due for destruction, or even when one saw a scrap of waste paper
lying about, it was an automatic action to lift the flap of the nearest memory
hole and drop it in, whereupon it would be whirled away on a current of warm
air to the enormous furnaces which were hidden somewhere in the recesses of the
building.
Winston
examined the four slips of paper which he had unrolled. Each contained a
message of only one or two lines, in the abbreviated jargon -- not actually
Newspeak, but consisting largely of Newspeak words -- which was used in the
Ministry for internal purposes. They ran:
times 17.3.84
bb speech malreported africa rectify
times
19.12.83 forecasts 3 yp 4th quarter 83 misprints verify current issue
times 14.2.84
miniplenty malquoted chocolate rectify
times 3.12.83
reporting bb dayorder doubleplusungood refs unpersons rewrite fullwise upsub
antefiling
With a faint
feeling of satisfaction Winston laid the fourth message aside. It was an
intricate and responsible job and had better be dealt with last. The other
three were routine matters, though the second one would probably mean some
tedious wading through lists of figures.
Winston
dialed 'back numbers' on the telescreen and called for the appropriate issues
of The Times, which slid out of the pneumatic tube after only a few minutes' delay.
The messages he had received referred to articles or news items which for one
reason or another it was thought necessary to alter, or, as the official phrase
had it, to rectify. For example, it appeared from The Times of the seventeenth
of March that Big Brother, in his speech of the previous day, had predicted
that the South Indian front would remain quiet but that a Eurasian offensive
would shortly be launched in North Africa. As it happened, the Eurasian Higher
Command had launched its offensive in South India and left North Africa alone.
It was therefore necessary to rewrite a paragraph of Big Brother's speech, in
such a way as to make him predict the thing that had actually happened. Or
again, The Times of the nineteenth of December had published the official
forecasts of the output of various classes of consumption goods in the fourth
quarter of 1983, which was also the sixth quarter of the Ninth Three-Year Plan.
Today's issue contained a statement of the actual output, from which it
appeared that the forecasts were in every instance grossly wrong. Winston's job
was to rectify the original figures by making them agree with the later ones.
As for the third message, it referred to a very simple error which could be set
right in a couple of minutes. As short a time ago as February, the Ministry of
Plenty had issued a promise (a 'categorical pledge' were the official words)
that there would be no reduction of the chocolate ration during 1984. Actually,
as Winston was aware, the chocolate ration was to be reduced from thirty
grammes to twenty at the end of the present week. All that was needed was to
substitute for the original promise a warning that it would probably be
necessary to reduce the ration at some time in April.
As soon as
Winston had dealt with each of the messages, he clipped his speakwritten
corrections to the appropriate copy of The Times and pushed them into the
pneumatic tube. Then, with a movement which was as nearly as possible
unconscious, he crumpled up the original message and any notes that he himself
had made, and dropped them into the memory hole to be devoured by the flames.
What happened
in the unseen labyrinth to which the pneumatic tubes led, he did not know in
detail, but he did know in general terms. As soon as all the corrections which
happened to be necessary in any particular number of The Times had been
assembled and collated, that number would be reprinted, the original copy
destroyed, and the corrected copy placed on the files in its stead. This
process of continuous alteration was applied not only to newspapers, but to
books, periodicals, pamphlets, posters, leaflets, films, sound-tracks,
cartoons, photographs -- to every kind of literature or documentation which
might conceivably hold any political or ideological significance. Day by day
and almost minute by minute the past was brought up to date. In this way every
prediction made by the Party could be shown by documentary evidence to have
been correct, nor was any item of news, or any expression of opinion, which conflicted
with the needs of the moment, ever allowed to remain on record. All history was
a palimpsest, scraped clean and reinscribed exactly as often as was necessary.
In no case would it have been possible, once the deed was done, to prove that
any falsification had taken place. The largest section of the Records
Department, far larger than the one on which Winston worked, consisted simply
of persons whose duty it was to track down and collect all copies of books,
newspapers, and other documents which had been superseded and were due for
destruction. A number of The Times which might, because of changes in political
alignment, or mistaken prophecies uttered by Big Brother, have been rewritten a
dozen times still stood on the files bearing its original date, and no other
copy existed to contradict it. Books, also, were recalled and rewritten again
and again, and were invariably reissued without any admission that any
alteration had been made. Even the written instructions which Winston received,
and which he invariably got rid of as soon as he had dealt with them, never
stated or implied that an act of forgery was to be committed: always the
reference was to slips, errors, misprints, or misquotations which it was
necessary to put right in the interests of accuracy.
But actually,
he thought as he re-adjusted the Ministry of Plenty's figures, it was not even
forgery. It was merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for another.
Most of the material that you were dealing with had no connexion with anything in
the real world, not even the kind of connexion that is contained in a direct
lie. Statistics were just as much a fantasy in their original version as in
their rectified version. A great deal of the time you were expected to make
them up out of your head. For example, the Ministry of Plenty's forecast had
estimated the output of boots for the quarter at 145 million pairs. The actual
output was given as sixty-two millions. Winston, however, in rewriting the
forecast, marked the figure down to fifty-seven millions, so as to allow for
the usual claim that the quota had been overfulfilled. In any case, sixty-two
millions was no nearer the truth than fiftyseven millions, or than 145
millions. Very likely no boots had been produced at all. Likelier still, nobody
knew how many had been produced, much less cared. All one knew was that every
quarter astronomical numbers of boots were produced on paper, while perhaps
half the population of Oceania went barefoot. And so it was with every class of
recorded fact, great or small. Everything faded away into a shadow-world in
which, finally, even the date of the year had become uncertain.
Winston
glanced across the hall. In the corresponding cubicle on the other side a
small, precise-looking, dark- chinned man named Tillotson was working steadily
away, with a folded newspaper on his knee and his mouth very close to the
mouthpiece of the speakwrite. He had the air of trying to keep what he was
saying a secret between himself and the telescreen. He looked up, and his
spectacles darted a hostile flash in Winston's direction.
Winston
hardly knew Tillotson, and had no idea what work he was employed on. People in
the Records Department did not readily talk about their jobs. In the long,
windowless hall, with its double row of cubicles and its endless rustle of
papers and hum of voices murmuring into speakwrites, there were quite a dozen
people whom Winston did not even know by name, though he daily saw them
hurrying to and fro in the corridors or gesticulating in the Two Minutes Hate.
He knew that in the cubicle next to him the little woman with sandy hair toiled
day in day out, simply at tracking down and deleting from the Press the names
of people who had been vaporized and were therefore considered never to have
existed. There was a certain fitness in this, since her own husband had been
vaporized a couple of years earlier. And a few cubicles away a mild,
ineffectual, dreamy creature named Ampleforth, with very hairy ears and a
surprising talent for juggling with rhymes and metres, was engaged in producing
garbled versions -- definitive texts, they were called -- of poems which had
become ideologically offensive, but which for one reason or another were to be
retained in the anthologies. And this hall, with its fifty workers or thereabouts,
was only one sub-section, a single cell, as it were, in the huge complexity of
the Records Department. Beyond, above, below, were other swarms of workers
engaged in an unimaginable multitude of jobs. There were the huge printingshops
with their sub-editors, their typography experts, and their elaborately
equipped studios for the faking of photographs. There was the tele-programmes
section with its engineers, its producers, and its teams of actors specially
chosen for their skill in imitating voices. There were the armies of reference
clerks whose job was simply to draw up lists of books and periodicals which
were due for recall. There were the vast repositories where the corrected
documents were stored, and the hidden furnaces where the original copies were
destroyed. And somewhere or other, quite anonymous, there were the directing
brains who co-ordinated the whole effort and laid down the lines of policy
which made it necessary that this fragment of the past should be preserved,
that one falsified, and the other rubbed out of existence.
And the
Records Department, after all, was itself only a single branch of the Ministry
of Truth, whose primary job was not to reconstruct the past but to supply the
citizens of Oceania with newspapers, films, textbooks, telescreen programmes,
plays, novels -- with every conceivable kind of information, instruction, or
entertainment, from a statue to a slogan, from a lyric poem to a biological
treatise, and from a child's spelling-book to a Newspeak dictionary. And the
Ministry had not only to supply the multifarious needs of the party, but also
to repeat the whole operation at a lower level for the benefit of the
proletariat. There was a whole chain of separate departments dealing with
proletarian literature, music, drama, and entertainment generally. Here were
produced rubbishy newspapers containing almost nothing except sport, crime and
astrology, sensational five-cent novelettes, films oozing with sex, and
sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a special
kind of kaleidoscope
known as a
versificator. There was even a whole sub-section -- Pornosec, it was called in
Newspeak -- engaged in
producing the
lowest kind of pornography, which was sent out in sealed packets and which no
Party member, other than those who worked on it, was permitted to look at.
Three
messages had slid out of the pneumatic tube while Winston was working, but they
were simple matters, and he had disposed of them before the Two Minutes Hate
interrupted him. When the Hate was over he returned to his cubicle, took the
Newspeak dictionary from the shelf, pushed the speakwrite to one side, cleaned
his spectacles, and settled down to his main job of the morning.
Winston's
greatest pleasure in life was in his work. Most of it was a tedious routine,
but included in it there were also jobs so difficult and intricate that you
could lose yourself in them as in the depths of a mathematical problem --
delicate pieces of forgery in which you had nothing to guide you except your knowledge
of the principles of Ingsoc and your estimate of what the Party wanted you to
say. Winston was good at this kind of thing. On occasion he had even been
entrusted with the rectification of The Times leading articles, which were
written entirely in Newspeak. He unrolled the message that he had set aside
earlier. It ran:
times 3.12.83
reporting bb dayorder doubleplusungood refs unpersons rewrite fullwise upsub
antefiling
In Oldspeak
(or standard English) this might be rendered: The reporting of Big Brother's
Order for the Day in The Times of December 3rd 1983 is extremely unsatisfactory
and makes references to non-existent persons. Rewrite it in full and submit
your draft to higher authority before filing.
Winston read
through the offending article. Big Brother's Order for the Day, it seemed, had
been chiefly devoted to praising the work of an organization known as FFCC,
which supplied cigarettes and other comforts to the sailors in the Floating
Fortresses. A certain Comrade Withers, a prominent member of the Inner Party,
had been singled out for special mention and awarded a decoration, the Order of
Conspicuous Merit, Second Class.
Three months
later FFCC had suddenly been dissolved with no reasons given. One could assume
that Withers and his associates were now in disgrace, but there had been no
report of the matter in the Press or on the telescreen. That was to be
expected, since it was unusual for political offenders to be put on trial or
even publicly denounced. The great purges involving thousands of people, with
public trials of traitors and thought-criminals who made abject confession of
their crimes and were afterwards executed, were special show-pieces not
occurring oftener than once in a couple of years. More commonly, people who had
incurred the displeasure of the Party simply disappeared and were never heard
of again. One never had the smallest clue as to what had happened to them. In
some cases they might not even be dead. Perhaps thirty people personally known
to Winston, not counting his parents, had disappeared at one time or another.
Winston
stroked his nose gently with a paper-clip. In the cubicle across the way
Comrade Tillotson was still crouching secretively over his speakwrite. He
raised his head for a moment: again the hostile spectacle-flash. Winston
wondered whether Comrade Tillotson was engaged on the same job as himself. It
was perfectly possible. So tricky a piece of work would never be entrusted to a
single person: on the other hand, to turn it over to a committee would be to
admit openly that an act of fabrication was taking place. Very likely as many
as a dozen people were now working away on rival versions of what Big Brother
had actually said. And presently some master brain in the Inner Party would
select this version or that, would re-edit it and set in motion the complex
processes of cross-referencing that would be required, and then the chosen lie
would pass into the permanent records and become truth.
Winston did
not know why Withers had been disgraced. Perhaps it was for corruption or
incompetence. Perhaps Big Brother was merely getting rid of a too-popular
subordinate. Perhaps Withers or someone close to him had been suspected of
heretical tendencies. Or perhaps -- what was likeliest of all -- the thing had
simply happened because purges and vaporizations were a necessary part of the
mechanics of government. The only real clue lay in the words 'refs unpersons',
which indicated that Withers was already dead. You could not invariably assume
this to be the case when people were arrested. Sometimes they were released and
allowed to remain at liberty for as much as a year or two years before being
executed. Very occasionally some person whom you had believed dead long since
would make a ghostly reappearance at some public trial where he would implicate
hundreds of others by his testimony before vanishing, this time for ever.
Withers, however, was already an unperson. He did not exist: he had never
existed. Winston decided that it would not be enough simply to reverse the tendency
of Big Brother's speech. It was better to make it deal with something totally
unconnected with its original subject.
He might turn
the speech into the usual denunciation of traitors and thought-criminals, but
that was a little too obvious, while to invent a victory at the front, or some
triumph of over-production in the Ninth Three-Year Plan, might complicate the
records too much. What was needed was a piece of pure fantasy. Suddenly there
sprang into his mind, ready made as it were, the image of a certain Comrade
Ogilvy, who had recently died in battle, in heroic circumstances. There were
occasions when Big Brother devoted his Order for the Day to commemorating some
humble, rankand-file Party member whose life and death he held up as an example
worthy to be followed. Today he should commemorate Comrade Ogilvy. It was true
that there was no such person as Comrade Ogilvy, but a few lines of print and a
couple of faked photographs would soon bring him into existence.
Winston
thought for a moment, then pulled the speakwrite towards him and began
dictating in Big Brother's familiar style: a style at once military and
pedantic, and, because of a trick of asking questions and then promptly
answering them ('What lessons do we learn from this fact, comrades ? The lesson
-- which is also one of the fundamental principles of Ingsoc -- that,' etc.,
etc.), easy to imitate.
At the age of
three Comrade Ogilvy had refused all toys except a drum, a sub-machine gun, and
a model helicopter. At six -- a year early, by a special relaxation of the
rules -- he had joined the Spies, at nine he had been a troop leader. At eleven
he had denounced his uncle to the Thought Police after overhearing a
conversation which appeared to him to have criminal tendencies. At seventeen he
had been a district organizer of the Junior Anti-Sex League. At nine teen he
had designed a hand-grenade which had been adopted by the Ministry of Peace and
which, at its first trial, had killed thirtyone Eurasian prisoners in one
burst. At twenty-three he had perished in action. Pursued by enemy jet planes
while flying over the Indian Ocean with important despatches, he had weighted
his body with his machine gun and leapt out of the helicopter into deep water,
despatches and all -- an end, said Big Brother, which it was impossible to
contemplate without feelings of envy. Big Brother added a few remarks on the
purity and single-mindedness of Comrade Ogilvy's life. He was a total abstainer
and a nonsmoker, had no recreations except a daily hour in the gymnasium, and
had taken a vow of celibacy, believing marriage and the care of a family to be
incompatible with a twenty-four-hour-a-day devotion to duty. He had no subjects
of conversation except the principles of Ingsoc, and no aim in life except the
defeat of the Eurasian enemy and the hunting-down of spies, saboteurs,
thoughtcriminals, and traitors generally.
Winston
debated with himself whether to award Comrade Ogilvy the Order of Conspicuous
Merit: in the end he decided against it because of the unnecessary
cross-referencing that it would entail.
Once again he
glanced at his rival in the opposite cubicle. Something seemed to tell him with
certainty that Tillotson was busy on the same job as himself. There was no way
of knowing whose job would finally be adopted, but he felt a profound
conviction that it would be his own. Comrade Ogilvy, unimagined an hour ago,
was now a fact. It struck him as curious that you could create dead men but not
living ones. Comrade Ogilvy, who had never existed in the present, now existed
in the past, and when once the act of forgery was forgotten, he would exist
just as authentically, and upon the same evidence, as Charlemagne or Julius
Caesar.
x x x
In the
low-ceilinged canteen, deep underground, the lunch queue jerked slowly forward.
The room was already very full and deafeningly noisy. From the grille at the
counter the steam of stew came pouring forth, with a sour metallic smell which
did not quite overcome the fumes of Victory Gin. On the far side of the room
there was a small bar, a mere hole in the wall, where gin could be bought at
ten cents the large nip.
'Just the man
I was looking for,' said a voice at Winston's back.
He turned
round. It was his friend Syme, who worked in the Research Department. Perhaps
'friend' was not exactly the right word. You did not have friends nowadays, you
had comrades: but there were some comrades whose society was pleasanter than
that of others. Syme was a philologist, a specialist in Newspeak. Indeed, he
was one of the enormous team of experts now engaged in compiling the Eleventh
Edition of the Newspeak Dictionary. He was a tiny creature, smaller than
Winston, with dark hair and large, protuberant eyes, at once mournful and
derisive, which seemed to search your face closely while he was speaking to
you.
'I wanted to
ask you whether you'd got any razor blades,' he said.
'Not one!'
said Winston with a sort of guilty haste. 'I've tried all over the place. They
don't exist any longer.'
Everyone kept
asking you for razor blades. Actually he had two unused ones which he was
hoarding up. There had been a famine of them for months past. At any given
moment there was some necessary article which the Party shops were unable to
supply. Sometimes it was buttons, sometimes it was darning wool, sometimes it
was shoelaces; at present it was razor blades. You could only get hold of them,
if at all, by scrounging more or less furtively on the 'free' market.
'I've been
using the same blade for six weeks,' he added untruthfully.
The queue
gave another jerk forward. As they halted he turned and faced Syme again. Each
of them took a greasy metal tray from a pile at the end of the counter.
'Did you go
and see the prisoners hanged yesterday?' said Syme.
'I was
working,' said Winston indifferently. 'I shall see it on the flicks, I
suppose.'
'A very
inadequate substitute,' said Syme.
His mocking
eyes roved over Winston's face. 'I know you,' the eyes seemed to say, 'I see
through you. I know very well why you didn't go to see those prisoners hanged.'
In an intellectual way, Syme was venomously orthodox. He would talk with a
disagreeable gloating satisfaction of helicopter raids on enemy villages, and
trials and confessions of thought-criminals, the executions in the cellars of
the Ministry of Love. Talking to him was largely a matter of getting him away
from such subjects and entangling him, if possible, in the technicalities of
Newspeak, on which he was authoritative and interesting. Winston turned his
head a little aside to avoid the scrutiny of the large dark eyes.
'It was a
good hanging,' said Syme reminiscently. 'I think it spoils it when they tie
their feet together. I like to see them kicking. And above all, at the end, the
tongue sticking right out, and blue a quite bright blue. That's the detail that
appeals to me.'
'Nex',
please!' yelled the white-aproned prole with the ladle.
Winston and
Syme pushed their trays beneath the grille. On to each was dumped swiftly the
regulation lunch -- a metal pannikin of pinkish-grey stew, a hunk of bread, a
cube of cheese, a mug of milkless Victory Coffee, and one saccharine tablet.
'There's a
table over there, under that telescreen,' said Syme. 'Let's pick up a gin on
the way.'
The gin was
served out to them in handleless china mugs. They threaded their way across the
crowded room and unpacked their trays on to the metal-topped table, on one
corner of which someone had left a pool of stew, a filthy liquid mess that had
the appearance of vomit. Winston took up his mug of gin, paused for an instant
to collect his nerve, and gulped the oily-tasting stuff down. When he had
winked the tears out of his eyes he suddenly discovered that he was hungry. He
began swallowing spoonfuls of the stew, which, in among its general sloppiness,
had cubes of spongy pinkish stuff which was probably a preparation of meat.
Neither of them spoke again till they had emptied their pannikins. From the
table at Winston's left, a little behind his back, someone was talking rapidly
and continuously, a harsh gabble almost like the quacking of a duck, which
pierced the general uproar of the room.
'How is the
Dictionary getting on?' said Winston, raising his voice to overcome the noise.
'Slowly,'
said Syme. 'I'm on the adjectives. It's fascinating.'
He had
brightened up immediately at the mention of Newspeak. He pushed his pannikin
aside, took up his hunk of bread in one delicate hand and his cheese in the
other, and leaned across the table so as to be able to speak without shouting.
'The Eleventh
Edition is the definitive edition,' he said. 'We're getting the language into
its final shape -- the shape it's going to have when nobody speaks anything
else. When we've finished with it, people like you will have to learn it all
over again. You think, I dare say, that our chief job is inventing new words.
But not a bit of it! We're destroying words -- scores of them, hundreds of
them, every day. We're cutting the language down to the bone. The Eleventh
Edition won't contain a single word that will become obsolete before the year
2050.'
He bit
hungrily into his bread and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls, then continued
speaking, with a sort of pedant's passion. His thin dark face had become
animated, his eyes had lost their mocking expression and grown almost dreamy.
'It's a
beautiful thing, the destruction of words. Of course the great wastage is in
the verbs and adjectives, but there are hundreds of nouns that can be got rid
of as well. It isn't only the synonyms; there are also the antonyms. After all,
what justification is there for a word which is simply the opposite of some
other word? A word contains its opposite in itself. Take "good", for
instance. If you have a word like "good", what need is there for a
word like "bad"? "Ungood" will do just as well -- better,
because it's an exact opposite, which the other is not. Or again, if you want a
stronger version of "good", what sense is there in having a whole
string of vague useless words like "excellent" and
"splendid" and all the rest of them? "Plusgood" covers the
meaning, or " doubleplusgood" if you want something stronger still.
Of course we use those forms already. but in the final version of Newspeak
there'll be nothing else. In the end the whole notion of goodness and badness
will be covered by only six words -- in reality, only one word. Don't you see
the beauty of that, Winston? It was B.B.'s idea originally, of course,' he
added as an afterthought.
A sort of
vapid eagerness flitted across Winston's face at the mention of Big Brother.
Nevertheless Syme immediately detected a certain lack of enthusiasm.
'You haven't
a real appreciation of Newspeak, Winston,' he said almost sadly. 'Even when you
write it you're still thinking in Oldspeak. I've read some of those pieces that
you write in The Times occasionally. They're good enough, but they're translations.
In your heart you'd prefer to stick to Oldspeak, with all its vagueness and its
useless shades of meaning. You don't grasp the beauty of the destruction of
words. Do you know that Newspeak is the only language in the world whose
vocabulary gets smaller every year?'
Winston did
know that, of course. He smiled, sympathetically he hoped, not trusting himself
to speak. Syme bit off another fragment of the dark-coloured bread, chewed it
briefly, and went on:
'Don't you
see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the
end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no
words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed, will be
expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its
subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. Already, in the Eleventh Edition,
we're not far from that point. But the process will still be continuing long
after you and I are dead. Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness
always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there's no reason or excuse for
committing thoughtcrime. It's merely a question of self-discipline,
reality-control. But in the end there won't be any need even for that. The
Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect. Newspeak is Ingsoc
and Ingsoc is Newspeak,' he added with a sort of mystical satisfaction. 'Has it
ever occurred to you, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a
single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we
are having now?'
'Except-'
began Winston doubtfully, and he stopped.
It had been
on the tip of his tongue to say 'Except the proles,' but he checked himself,
not feeling fully certain that this remark was not in some way unorthodox.
Syme, however, had divined what he was about to say.
'The proles
are not human beings,' he said carelessly. ' By 2050 earlier, probably -- all
real knowledge of Oldspeak will have disappeared. The whole literature of the
past will have been destroyed. Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Byron -- they'll
exist only in Newspeak versions, not merely changed into something different,
but actually changed into something contradictory of what they used to be. Even
the literature of the Party will change. Even the slogans will change. How
could you have a slogan like "freedom is slavery" when the concept of
freedom has been abolished? The whole climate of thought will be different. In
fact there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not
thinking -- not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.'
One of these
days, thought Winston with sudden deep conviction, Syme will be vaporized. He
is too intelligent. He sees too clearly and speaks too plainly. The Party does
not like such people. One day he will disappear. It is written in his face.
Winston had
finished his bread and cheese. He turned a little sideways in his chair to
drink his mug of coffee. At the table on his left the man with the strident
voice was still talking remorselessly away. A young woman who was perhaps his
secretary, and who was sitting with her back to Winston, was listening to him
and seemed to be eagerly agreeing with everything that he said. From time to
time Winston caught some such remark as 'I think you're so right, I do so agree
with you', uttered in a youthful and rather silly feminine voice. But the other
voice never stopped for an instant, even when the girl was speaking. Winston
knew the man by sight, though he knew no more about him than that he held some
important post in the Fiction Department. He was a man of about thirty, with a
muscular throat and a large, mobile mouth. His head was thrown back a little,
and because of the angle at which he was sitting, his spectacles caught the
light and presented to Winston two blank discs instead of eyes. What was
slightly horrible, was that from the stream of sound that poured out of his
mouth it was almost impossible to distinguish a single word. Just once Winston
caught a phrase-'complete and final elimination of Goldsteinism'- jerked out
very rapidly and, as it seemed, all in one piece, like a line of type cast
solid. For the rest it was just a noise, a quackquack-quacking. And yet, though
you could not actually hear what the man was saying, you could not be in any
doubt about its general nature. He might be denouncing Goldstein and demanding
sterner measures against thought- criminals and saboteurs, he might be
fulminating against the atrocities of the Eurasian army, he might be praising
Big Brother or the heroes on the Malabar front-it made no difference. Whatever
it was, you could be certain that every word of it was pure orthodoxy, pure
Ingsoc. As he watched the eyeless face with the jaw moving rapidly up and down,
Winston had a curious feeling that this was not a real human being but some
kind of dummy. It was not the man's brain that was speaking, it was his larynx.
The stuff that was coming out of him consisted of words, but it was not speech
in the true sense: it was a noise uttered in unconsciousness, like the quacking
of a duck.
Syme had
fallen silent for a moment, and with the handle of his spoon was tracing
patterns in the puddle of stew. The voice from the other table quacked rapidly
on, easily audible in spite of the surrounding din.
'There is a
word in Newspeak,' said Syme, 'I don't know whether you know it: duckspeak, to
quack like a duck. It is one of those interesting words that have two
contradictory meanings. Applied to an opponent, it is abuse, applied to someone
you agree with, it is praise.'
Unquestionably
Syme will be vaporized, Winston thought again. He thought it with a kind of
sadness, although well knowing that Syme despised him and slightly disliked
him, and was fully capable of denouncing him as a thought- criminal if he saw
any reason for doing so. There was something subtly wrong with Syme. There was
something that he lacked: discretion, aloofness, a sort of saving stupidity.
You could not say that he was unorthodox. He believed in the principles of
Ingsoc, he venerated Big Brother, he rejoiced over victories, he hated
heretics, not merely with sincerity but with a sort of restless zeal, an
up-to-dateness of information, which the ordinary Party member did not
approach. Yet a faint air of disreputability always clung to him. He said
things that would have been better unsaid, he had read too many books, he
frequented the Chestnut Tree Cafe/, haunt of painters and musicians. There was
no law, not even an unwritten law, against frequenting the Chestnut Tree Cafe/,
yet the place was somehow ill-omened. The old, discredited leaders of the Party
had been used to gather there before they were finally purged. Goldstein
himself, it was said, had sometimes been seen there, years and decades ago.
Syme's fate was not difficult to foresee. And yet it was a fact that if Syme
grasped, even for three seconds, the nature of his, Winston's, secret opinions,
he would betray him instantly to the Thought police. So would anybody else, for
that matter: but Syme more than most. Zeal was not enough. Orthodoxy was
unconsciousness.
Syme looked
up. 'Here comes Parsons,' he said.
Something in
the tone of his voice seemed to add, 'that bloody fool'. Parsons, Winston's
fellow-tenant at Victory Mansions, was in fact threading his way across the
room -- a tubby, middle-sized man with fair hair and a froglike face. At
thirty-five he was already putting on rolls of fat at neck and waistline, but
his movements were brisk and boyish. His whole appearance was that of a little
boy grown large, so much so that although he was wearing the regulation
overalls, it was almost impossible not to think of him as being dressed in the
blue shorts, grey shirt, and red neckerchief of the Spies. In visualizing him
one saw always a picture of dimpled knees and sleeves rolled back from pudgy
forearms. Parsons did, indeed, invariably revert to shorts when a community
hike or any other physical activity gave him an excuse for doing so. He greeted
them both with a cheery 'Hullo, hullo!' and sat down at the table, giving off
an intense smell of sweat. Beads of moisture stood out all over his pink face.
His powers of sweating were extraordinary. At the Community Centre you could
always tell when he had been playing table-tennis by the dampness of the bat
handle. Syme had produced a strip of paper on which there was a long column of
words, and was studying it with an ink-pencil between his fingers.
'Look at him
working away in the lunch hour,' said Parsons, nudging Winston. 'Keenness, eh?
What's that you've got there, old boy? Something a bit too brainy for me, I
expect. Smith, old boy, I'll tell you why I'm chasing you. It's that sub you
forgot to give me.'
'Which sub is
that? said Winston, automatically feeling for money. About a quarter of one's
salary had to be earmarked for voluntary subscriptions, which were so numerous
that it was difficult to keep track of them.
'For Hate
Week. You know -- the house-by-house fund. I'm treasurer for our block. We're
making an all-out effort -- going to put on a tremendous show. I tell you, it
won't be my fault if old Victory Mansions doesn't have the biggest outfit of
flags in the whole street. Two dollars you promised me.'
Winston found
and handed over two creased and filthy notes, which Parsons entered in a small
notebook, in the neat handwriting of the illiterate.
'By the way,
old boy,' he said. 'I hear that little beggar of mine let fly at you with his
catapult yesterday. I gave him a good dressingdown for it. In fact I told him
I'd take the catapult away if he does it again.
'I think he
was a little upset at not going to the execution,' said Winston.
' Ah, well --
what I mean to say, shows the right spirit, doesn't it? Mischievous little
beggars they are, both of them, but talk about keenness! All they think about
is the Spies, and the war, of course. D'you know what that little girl of mine
did last Saturday, when her troop was on a hike out Berkhamsted way? She got
two other girls to go with her, slipped off from the hike, and spent the whole
afternoon following a strange man. They kept on his tail for two hours, right
through the woods, and then, when they got into Amersham, handed him over to
the patrols.'
'What did
they do that for?' said Winston, somewhat taken aback. Parsons went on
triumphantly:
'My kid made
sure he was some kind of enemy agent -- might have been dropped by parachute,
for instance. But here's the point, old boy. What do you think put her on to
him in the first place? She spotted he was wearing a funny kind of shoes --
said she'd never seen anyone wearing shoes like that before. So the chances
were he was a foreigner. Pretty smart for a nipper of seven, eh?'
'What
happened to the man?' said Winston.
'Ah, that I
couldn't say, of course. But I wouldn't be altogether surprised if-' Parsons
made the motion of aiming a rifle, and clicked his tongue for the explosion.
'Good,' said
Syme abstractedly, without looking up from his strip of paper.
'Of course we
can't afford to take chances,' agreed Winston dutifully.
'What I mean
to say, there is a war on,' said Parsons.
As though in
confirmation of this, a trumpet call floated from the telescreen just above
their heads. However, it was not the proclamation of a military victory this
time, but merely an announcement from the Ministry of Plenty.
'Comrades!'
cried an eager youthful voice. 'Attention, comrades! We have glorious news for
you. We have won the battle for production! Returns now completed of the output
of all classes of consumption goods show that the standard of living has risen
by no less than 20 per cent over the past year. All over Oceania this morning
there were irrepressible spontaneous demonstrations when workers marched out of
factories and offices and paraded through the streets with banners voicing
their gratitude to Big Brother for the new, happy life which his wise
leadership has bestowed upon us. Here are some of the completed figures.
Foodstuffs-'
The phrase
'our new, happy life' recurred several times. It had been a favourite of late
with the Ministry of Plenty. Parsons, his attention caught by the trumpet call,
sat listening with a sort of gaping solemnity, a sort of edified boredom. He
could not follow the figures, but he was aware that they were in some way a
cause for satisfaction. He had lugged out a huge and filthy pipe which was
already half full of charred tobacco. With the tobacco ration at 100 grammes a
week it was seldom possible to fill a pipe to the top. Winston was smoking a
Victory Cigarette which he held carefully horizontal. The new ration did not
start till tomorrow and he had only four cigarettes left. For the moment he had
shut his ears to the remoter noises and was listening to the stuff that
streamed out of the telescreen. It appeared that there had even been
demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty
grammes a week. And only yesterday, he reflected, it had been announced that
the ration was to be reduced to twenty grammes a week. Was it possible that
they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours? Yes, they swallowed it.
Parsons swallowed it easily, with the stupidity of an animal. The eyeless
creature at the other table swallowed it fanatically, passionately, with a
furious desire to track down, denounce, and vaporize anyone who should suggest
that last week the ration had been thirty grammes. Syme, too-in some more
complex way, involving doublethink, Syme swallowed it. Was he, then, alone in
the possession of a memory?
The fabulous
statistics continued to pour out of the telescreen. As compared with last year
there was more food, more clothes, more houses, more furniture, more cooking-
pots, more fuel, more ships, more helicopters, more books, more babies -- more
of everything except disease, crime, and insanity. Year by year and minute by
minute, everybody and everything was whizzing rapidly upwards. As Syme had done
earlier Winston had taken up his spoon and was dabbling in the pale-coloured
gravy that dribbled across the table, drawing a long streak of it out into a
pattern. He meditated resentfully on the physical texture of life. Had it always
been like this? Had food always tasted like this? He looked round the canteen.
A low-ceilinged, crowded room, its walls grimy from the contact of innumerable
bodies; battered metal tables and chairs, placed so close together that you sat
with elbows touching; bent spoons, dented trays, coarse white mugs; all
surfaces greasy, grime in every crack; and a sourish, composite smell of bad
gin and bad coffee and metallic stew and dirty clothes. Always in your stomach
and in your skin there was a sort of protest, a feeling that you had been
cheated of something that you had a right to. It was true that he had no
memories of anything greatly different. In any time that he could accurately
remember, there had never been quite enough to eat, one had never had socks or
underclothes that were not full of holes, furniture had always been battered
and rickety, rooms underheated, tube trains crowded, houses falling to pieces,
bread dark- coloured, tea a rarity, coffee filthy-tasting, cigarettes
insufficient -- nothing cheap and plentiful except synthetic gin. And though,
of course, it grew worse as one's body aged, was it not a sign that this was
not the natural order of things, if one's heart sickened at the discomfort and
dirt and scarcity, the interminable winters, the stickiness of one's socks, the
lifts that never worked, the cold water, the gritty soap, the cigarettes that
came to pieces, the food with its strange evil tastes? Why should one feel it
to be intolerable unless one had some kind of ancestral memory that things had
once been different?
He looked
round the canteen again. Nearly everyone was ugly, and would still have been
ugly even if dressed otherwise than in the uniform blue overalls. On the far
side of the room, sitting at a table alone, a small, curiously beetle-like man
was drinking a cup of coffee, his little eyes darting suspicious glances from
side to side. How easy it was, thought Winston, if you did not look about you,
to believe that the physical type set up by the Party as an ideal-tall muscular
youths and deep-bosomed maidens, blond-haired, vital, sunburnt, carefree --
existed and even predominated. Actually, so far as he could judge, the majority
of people in Airstrip One were small, dark, and ill-favoured. It was curious
how that beetle-like type proliferated in the Ministries: little dumpy men,
growing stout very early in life, with short legs, swift scuttling movements,
and fat inscrutable faces with very small eyes. It was the type that seemed to
flourish best under the dominion of the Party.
The
announcement from the Ministry of Plenty ended on another trumpet call and gave
way to tinny music. Parsons, stirred to vague enthusiasm by the bombardment of
figures, took his pipe out of his mouth.
'The Ministry
of Plenty's certainly done a good job this year,' he said with a knowing shake
of his head. 'By the way, Smith old boy, I suppose you haven't got any razor
blades you can let me have?'
'Not one,'
said Winston. 'I've been using the same blade for six weeks myself.'
'Ah, well --
just thought I'd ask you, old boy.'
'Sorry,' said
Winston.
The quacking
voice from the next table, temporarily silenced during the Ministry's
announcement, had started up again, as loud as ever. For some reason Winston
suddenly found himself thinking of Mrs Parsons, with her wispy hair and the
dust in the creases of her face. Within two years those children would be
denouncing her to the Thought Police. Mrs Parsons would be vaporized. Syme
would be vaporized. Winston would be vaporized. O'Brien would be vaporized. Parsons,
on the other hand, would never be vaporized. The eyeless creature with the
quacking voice would never be vaporized. The little beetle-like men who scuttle
so nimbly through the labyrinthine corridors of Ministries they, too, would
never be vaporized. And the girl with dark hair, the girl from the Fiction
Department -- she would never be vaporized either. It seemed to him that he
knew instinctively who would survive and who would perish: though just what it
was that made for survival, it was not easy to say.
At this
moment he was dragged out of his reverie with a violent jerk. The girl at the
next table had turned partly round and was looking at him. It was the girl with
dark hair. She was looking at him in a sidelong way, but with curious
intensity. The instant she caught his eye she looked away again.
The sweat
started out on Winston's backbone. A horrible pang of terror went through him.
It was gone almost at once, but it left a sort of nagging uneasiness behind.
Why was she watching him? Why did she keep following him about? Unfortunately
he could not remember whether she had already been at the table when he
arrived, or had come there afterwards. But yesterday, at any rate, during the
Two Minutes Hate, she had sat immediately behind him when there was no apparent
need to do so. Quite likely her real object had been to listen to him and make
sure whether he was shouting loudly enough.
His earlier
thought returned to him: probably she was not actually a member of the Thought
Police, but then it was precisely the amateur spy who was the greatest danger
of all. He did not know how long she had been looking at him, but perhaps for
as much as five minutes, and it was possible that his features had not been
perfectly under control. It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander
when you were in any public place or within range of a telescreen. The smallest
thing could give you away. A nervous tic, an unconscious look of anxiety, a
habit of muttering to yourself -- anything that carried with it the suggestion
of abnormality, of having something to hide. In any case, to wear an improper
expression on your face (to look incredulous when a victory was announced, for
example) was itself a punishable offence. There was even a word for it in
Newspeak: facecrime, it was called.
The girl had
turned her back on him again. Perhaps after all she was not really following
him about, perhaps it was coincidence that she had sat so close to him two days
running. His cigarette had gone out, and he laid it carefully on the edge of
the table. He would finish smoking it after work, if he could keep the tobacco
in it. Quite likely the person at the next table was a spy of the Thought
Police, and quite likely he would be in the cellars of the Ministry of Love
within three days, but a cigarette end must not be wasted. Syme had folded up
his strip of paper and stowed it away in his pocket. Parsons had begun talking
again.
'Did I ever
tell you, old boy,' he said, chuckling round the stem of his pipe, 'about the
time when those two nippers of mine set fire to the old market-woman's skirt
because they saw her wrapping up sausages in a poster of B.B.? Sneaked up
behind her and set fire to it with a box of matches. Burned her quite badly, I
believe. Little beggars, eh? But keen as mustard! That's a first-rate training
they give them in the Spies nowadays -- better than in my day, even. What d'you
think's the latest thing they've served them out with? Ear trumpets for
listening through keyholes ! My little girl brought one home the other night --
tried it out on our sitting-room door, and reckoned she could hear twice as
much as with her ear to the hole. Of course it's only a toy, mind you. Still,
gives 'em the right idea, eh?'
At this
moment the telescreen let out a piercing whistle. It was the signal to return
to work. All three men sprang to their feet to join in the struggle round the
lifts, and the remaining tobacco fell out of Winston's cigarette.
x x x
Winston was
writing in his diary:
It was three
years ago. It was on a dark evening, in a narrow side-street near one of the
big railway stations. She was standing near a doorway in the wall, under a
street lamp that hardly gave any light. She had a young face, painted very
thick. It was really the paint that appealed to me, the whiteness of it, like a
mask, and the bright red lips. Party women never paint their faces. There was
nobody else in the street, and no telescreens. She said two dollars. I...
For the
moment it was too difficult to go on. He shut his eyes and pressed his fingers
against them, trying to squeeze out the vision that kept recurring. He had an
almost overwhelming temptation to shout a string of filthy words at the top of
his voice. Or to bang his head against the wall, to kick over the table, and
hurl the inkpot through the window -- to do any violent or noisy or painful
thing that might black out the memory that was tormenting him.
Your worst
enemy, he reflected, was your own nervous system. At any moment the tension
inside you was liable to translate itself into some visible symptom. He thought
of a man whom he had passed in the street a few weeks back; a quite
ordinary-looking man, a Party member, aged thirty-five to forty, tallish and
thin, carrying a brief-case. They were a few metres apart when the left side of
the man's face was suddenly contorted by a sort of spasm. It happened again
just as they were passing one another: it was only a twitch, a quiver, rapid as
the clicking of a camera shutter, but obviously habitual. He remembered
thinking at the time: That poor devil is done for. And what was frightening was
that the action was quite possibly unconscious. The most deadly danger of all
was talking in your sleep. There was no way of guarding against that, so far as
he could see.
He drew his
breath and went on writing:
I went with
her through the doorway and across a backyard into a basement kitchen. There
was a bed against the wall, and a lamp on the table, turned down very low.
She...
His teeth
were set on edge. He would have liked to spit. Simultaneously with the woman in
the basement kitchen he thought of Katharine, his wife. Winston was married --
had been married, at any rate: probably he still was married, so far as he knew
his wife was not dead. He seemed to breathe again the warm stuffy odour of the
basement kitchen, an odour compounded of bugs and dirty clothes and villainous
cheap scent, but nevertheless alluring, because no woman of the Party ever used
scent, or could be imagined as doing so. Only the proles used scent. In his
mind the smell of it was inextricably mixed up with fornication.
When he had
gone with that woman it had been his first lapse in two years or thereabouts.
Consorting with prostitutes was forbidden, of course, but it was one of those
rules that you could occasionally nerve yourself to break. It was dangerous,
but it was not a life-and-death matter. To be caught with a prostitute might
mean five years in a forced-labour camp: not more, if you had committed no
other offence. And it was easy enough, provided that you could avoid being
caught in the act. The poorer quarters swarmed with women who were ready to
sell themselves. Some could even be purchased for a bottle of gin, which the
proles were not supposed to drink. Tacitly the Party was even inclined to
encourage prostitution, as an outlet for instincts which could not be
altogether suppressed. Mere debauchery did not matter very much, so long as it
was furtive and joyless and only involved the women of a submerged and despised
class. The unforgivable crime was promiscuity between Party members. But --
though this was one of the crimes that the accused in the great purges
invariably confessed to -- it was difficult to imagine any such thing actually
happening.
The aim of
the Party was not merely to prevent men and women from forming loyalties which
it might not be able to control. Its real, undeclared purpose was to remove all
pleasure from the sexual act. Not love so much as eroticism was the enemy,
inside marriage as well as outside it. All marriages between Party members had
to be approved by a committee appointed for the purpose, and -- though the
principle was never clearly stated -- permission was always refused if the
couple concerned gave the impression of being physically attracted to one
another. The only recognized purpose of marriage was to beget children for the
service of the Party. Sexual intercourse was to be looked on as a slightly
disgusting minor operation, like having an enema. This again was never put into
plain words, but in an indirect way it was rubbed into every Party member from
childhood onwards. There were even organizations such as the Junior Anti-Sex
League, which advocated complete celibacy for both sexes. All children were to
be begotten by artificial insemination (artsem, it was called in Newspeak) and
brought up in public institutions. This, Winston was aware, was not meant
altogether seriously, but somehow it fitted in with the general ideology of the
Party. The Party was trying to kill the sex instinct, or, if it could not be
killed, then to distort it and dirty it. He did not know why this was so, but
it seemed natural that it should be so. And as far as the women were concerned,
the Party's efforts were largely successful.
He thought
again of Katharine. It must be nine, ten -- nearly eleven years since they had
parted. It was curious how seldom he thought of her. For days at a time he was
capable of forgetting that he had ever been married. They had only been
together for about fifteen months. The Party did not permit divorce, but it rather
encouraged separation in cases where there were no children.
Katharine was
a tall, fair-haired girl, very straight, with splendid movements. She had a
bold, aquiline face, a face that one might have called noble until one
discovered that there was as nearly as possible nothing behind it. Very early
in her married life he had decided -- though perhaps it was only that he knew
her more intimately than he knew most people -- that she had without exception
the most stupid, vulgar, empty mind that he had ever encountered. She had not a
thought in her head that was not a slogan, and there was no imbecility,
absolutely none that she was not capable of swallowing if the Party handed it
out to her. 'The human sound-track' he nicknamed her in his own mind. Yet he
could have endured living with her if it had not been for just one thing --
sex.
As soon as he
touched her she seemed to wince and stiffen. To embrace her was like embracing
a jointed wooden image. And what was strange was that even when she was clasping
him against her he had the feeling that she was simultaneously pushing him away
with all her strength. The rigidlty of her muscles managed to convey that
impression. She would lie there with shut eyes, neither resisting nor
co-operating but submitting. It was extraordinarily embarrassing, and, after a
while, horrible. But even then he could have borne living with her if it had
been agreed that they should remain celibate. But curiously enough it was
Katharine who refused this. They must, she said, produce a child if they could.
So the performance continued to happen, once a week quite regulariy, whenever
it was not impossible. She even used to remind him of it in the morning, as
something which had to be done that evening and which must not be forgotten. She
had two names for it. One was 'making a baby', and the other was 'our duty to
the Party' (yes, she had actually used that phrase). Quite soon he grew to have
a feeling of positive dread when the appointed day came round. But luckily no
child appeared, and in the end she agreed to give up trying, and soon
afterwards they parted.
Winston
sighed inaudibly. He picked up his pen again and wrote:
She threw
herself down on the bed, and at once, without any kind of preliminary in the
most coarse, horrible way you can imagine, pulled up her skirt. I
He saw
himself standing there in the dim lamplight, with the smell of bugs and cheap
scent in his nostrils, and in his heart a feeling of defeat and resentment
which even at that moment was mixed up with the thought of Katharine's white
body, frozen for ever by the hypnotic power of the Party. Why did it always
have to be like this? Why could he not have a woman of his own instead of these
filthy scuffles at intervals of years? But a real love affair was an almost unthinkable
event. The women of the Party were all alike. Chastity was as deep ingrained in
them as Party loyalty. By careful early conditioning, by games and cold water,
by the rubbish that was dinned into them at school and in the Spies and the
Youth League, by lectures, parades, songs, slogans, and martial music, the
natural feeling had been driven out of them. His reason told him that there
must be exceptions, but his heart did not believe it. They were all
impregnable, as the Party intended that they should be. And what he wanted,
more even than to be loved, was to break down that wall of virtue, even if it
were only once in his whole life. The sexual act, successfully performed, was
rebellion. Desire was thoughtcrime. Even to have awakened Katharine, if he
could have achieved it, would have been like a seduction, although she was his
wife.
But the rest
of the story had got to be written down. He wrote:
I turned up
the lamp. When I saw her in the light...
After the
darkness the feeble light of the paraffin lamp had seemed very bright. For the
first time he could see the woman properly. He had taken a step towards her and
then halted, full of lust and terror. He was painfully conscious of the risk he
had taken in coming here. It was perfectly possible that the patrols would
catch him on the way out: for that matter they might be waiting outside the
door at this moment. If he went away without even doing what he had come here
to do
-- !
It had got to
be written down, it had got to be confessed. What he had suddenly seen in the
lamplight was that the woman was old. The paint was plastered so thick on her
face that it looked as though it might crack like a cardboard mask. There were
streaks of white in her hair; but the truly dreadful detail was that her mouth
had fallen a little open, revealing nothing except a cavernous blackness. She
had no teeth at all.
He wrote
hurriedly, in scrabbling handwriting:
When I saw
her in the light she was quite an old woman, fifty years old at least. But I
went ahead and did it just the same.
He pressed
his fingers against his eyelids again. He had written it down at last, but it
made no difference. The therapy had not worked. The urge to shout filthy words
at the top of his voice was as strong as ever.
x x x
If there is
hope, wrote Winston, it lies in the proles.
If there was
hope, it must lie in the proles, because only there in those swarming
disregarded masses, 85 per cent of the population of Oceania, could the force
to destroy the Party ever be generated. The Party could not be overthrown from
within. Its enemies, if it had any enemies, had no way of coming together or
even of identifying one another. Even if the legendary Brotherhood existed, as
just possibly it might, it was inconceivable that its members could ever
assemble in larger numbers than twos and threes. Rebellion meant a look in the
eyes, an inflexion of the voice, at the most, an occasional whispered word. But
the proles, if only they could somehow become conscious of their own strength.
would have no need to conspire. They needed only to rise up and shake
themselves like a horse shaking off flies. If they chose they could blow the
Party to pieces tomorrow morning. Surely sooner or later it must occur to them
to do it? And yet-!
He remembered
how once he had been walking down a crowded street when a tremendous shout of
hundreds of voices women's voices -- had burst from a side-street a little way
ahead. It was a great formidable cry of anger and despair, a deep, loud
'Oh-o-o-o-oh!' that went humming on like the reverberation of a bell. His heart
had leapt. It's started! he had thought. A riot! The proles are breaking loose
at last! When he had reached the spot it was to see a mob of two or three
hundred women crowding round the stalls of a street market, with faces as
tragic as though they had been the doomed passengers on a sinking ship. But at
this moment the general despair broke down into a multitude of individual
quarrels. It appeared that one of the stalls had been selling tin saucepans.
They were wretched, flimsy things, but cooking-pots of any kind were always
difficult to get. Now the supply had unexpectedly given out. The successful
women, bumped and jostled by the rest, were trying to make off with their
saucepans while dozens of others clamoured round the stall, accusing the
stallkeeper of favouritism and of having more saucepans somewhere in reserve.
There was a fresh outburst of yells. Two bloated women, one of them with her
hair coming down, had got hold of the same saucepan and were trying to tear it
out of one another's hands. For a moment they were both tugging, and then the
handle came off. Winston watched them disgustedly. And yet, just for a moment,
what almost frightening power had sounded in that cry from only a few hundred
throats ! Why was it that they could never shout like that about anything that
mattered?
He wrote:
Until they
become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they
cannot become conscious.
That, he
reflected, might almost have been a transcription from one of the Party
textbooks. The Party claimed, of course, to have liberated the proles from
bondage. Before the Revolution they had been hideously oppressed by the
capitalists, they had been starved and flogged, women had been forced to work
in the coal mines (women still did work in the coal mines, as a matter of
fact), children had been sold into the factories at the age of six. But
simultaneously, true to the Principles of doublethink, the Party taught that
the proles were natural inferiors who must be kept in subjection, like animals,
by the application of a few simple rules. In reality very little was known
about the proles. It was not necessary to know much. So long as they continued
to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to
themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had
reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of
ancestral pattern. They were born, they grew up in the gutters, they went to
work at twelve, they passed through a brief blossoming- period of beauty and
sexual desire, they married at twenty, they were middle-aged at thirty, they
died, for the most part, at sixty. Heavy physical work, the care of home and
children, petty quarrels with neighbours, films, football, beer, and above all,
gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not
difficult. A few agents of the Thought Police moved always among them,
spreading false rumours and marking down and eliminating the few individuals
who were judged capable of becoming dangerous; but no attempt was made to
indoctrinate them with the ideology of the Party. It was not desirable that the
proles should have strong political feelings. All that was required of them was
a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to
make them accept longer working-hours or shorter rations. And even when they
became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere,
because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific
grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice. The great
majority of proles did not even have telescreens in their homes. Even the civil
police interfered with them very little. There was a vast amount of criminality
in London, a whole world-within-a-world of thieves, bandits, prostitutes,
drug-peddlers, and racketeers of every description; but since it all happened
among the proles themselves, it was of no importance. In all questions of morals
they were allowed to follow their ancestral code. The sexual puritanism of the
Party was not imposed upon them. Promiscuity went unpunished, divorce was
permitted. For that matter, even religious worship would have been permitted if
the proles had shown any sign of needing or wanting it. They were beneath
suspicion. As the Party slogan put it: 'Proles and animals are free.'
Winston
reached down and cautiously scratched his varicose ulcer. It had begun itching
again. The thing you invariably came back to was the impossibility of knowing
what life before the Revolution had really been like. He took out of the drawer
a copy of a children's history textbook which he had borrowed from Mrs Parsons,
and began copying a passage into the diary:
In the old
days (it ran), before the glorious Revolution, London was not the beautiful
city that we know today. It was a dark, dirty, miserable place where hardly
anybody had enough to eat and where hundreds and thousands of poor people had
no boots on their feet and not even a roof to sleep under. Children no older
than you had to work twelve hours a day for cruel masters who flogged them with
whips if they worked too slowly and fed them on nothing but stale breadcrusts
and water.
But in among
all this terrible poverty there were just a few great big beautiful houses that
were lived in by rich men who had as many as thirty servants to look after
them. These rich men were called capitalists. They were fat, ugly men with
wicked faces, like the one in the picture on the opposite page. You can see
that he is dressed in a long black coat which was called a frock coat, and a
queer, shiny hat shaped like a stovepipe, which was called a top hat. This was
the uniform of the capitalists, and no one else was allowed to wear it. The capitalists
owned everything in the world, and everyone else was their slave. They owned
all the land, all the houses, all the factories, and all the money. If anyone
disobeyed them they could throw them into prison, or they could take his job
away and starve him to death. When any ordinary person spoke to a capitalist he
had to cringe and bow to him, and take off his cap and address him as 'Sir'.
The chief of all the capitalists was called the King. And....
But he knew
the rest of the catalogue. There would be mention of the bishops in their lawn
sleeves, the judges in their ermine robes, the pillory, the stocks, the
treadmill, the cat-o'-nine tails, the Lord Mayor's Banquet, and the practice of
kissing the Pope's toe. There was also something called the jus primae noctis,
which would probably not be mentioned in a textbook for children. It was the
law by which every capitalist had the right to sleep with any woman working in
one of his factories.
How could you
tell how much of it was lies? It might be true that the average human being was
better off now than he had been before the Revolution. The only evidence to the
contrary was the mute protest in your own bones, the instinctive feeling that
the conditions you lived in were intolerable and that at some other time they
must have been different. It struck him that the truly characteristic thing
about modern life was not its cruelty and insecurity, but simply its bareness,
its dinginess, its listlessness. Life, if you looked about you, bore no
resemblance not only to the lies that streamed out of the telescreens, but even
to the ideals that the Party was trying to achieve. Great areas of it, even for
a Party member, were neutral and non-political, a matter of slogging through
dreary jobs, fighting for a place on the Tube, darning a worn-out sock, cadging
a saccharine tablet, saving a cigarette end. The ideal set up by the Party was
something huge, terrible, and glittering -- a world of steel and concrete, of
monstrous machines and terrifying weapons -- a nation of warriors and fanatics,
marching forward in perfect unity, all thinking the same thoughts and shouting
the same slogans, perpetually working, fighting, triumphing, persecuting --
three hundred million people all with the same face. The reality was decaying,
dingy cities where underfed people shuffled to and fro in leaky shoes, in
patched-up nineteenth-century houses that smelt always of cabbage and bad
lavatories. He seemed to see a vision of London, vast and ruinous, city of a
million dustbins, and mixed up with it was a picture of Mrs Parsons, a woman
with lined face and wispy hair, fiddling helplessly with a blocked waste-pipe.
He reached
down and scratched his ankle again. Day and night the telescreens bruised your
ears with statistics proving that people today had more food, more clothes,
better houses, better recreations -- that they lived longer, worked shorter
hours, were bigger, healthier, stronger, happier, more intelligent, better
educated, than the people of fifty years ago. Not a word of it could ever be
proved or disproved. The Party claimed, for example, that today 40 per cent of
adult proles were literate: before the Revolution, it was said, the number had
only been 15 per cent. The Party claimed that the infant mortality rate was now
only 160 per thousand, whereas before the Revolution it had been 300 -- and so
it went on. It was like a single equation with two unknowns. It might very well
be that literally every word in the history books, even the things that one
accepted without question, was pure fantasy. For all he knew there might never
have been any such law as the jus primae noctis, or any such creature as a
capitalist, or any such garment as a top hat.
Everything
faded into mist. The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became
truth. Just once in his life he had possessed -- after the event: that was what
counted -- concrete, unmistakable evidence of an act of falsification. He had
held it between his fingers for as long as thirty seconds. In 1973, it must
have been -- at any rate, it was at about the time when he and Katharine had
parted. But the really relevant date was seven or eight years earlier.
The story
really began in the middle sixties, the period of the great purges in which the
original leaders of the Revolution were wiped out once and for all. By 1970
none of them was left, except Big Brother himself. All the rest had by that
time been exposed as traitors and counter- revolutionaries. Goldstein had fled
and was hiding no one knew where, and of the others, a few had simply
disappeared, while the majority had been executed after spectacular public
trials at which they made confession of their crimes. Among the last survivors
were three men named Jones, Aaronson, and Rutherford. It must have been in 1965
that these three had been arrested. As often happened, they had vanished for a
year or more, so that one did not know whether they were alive or dead, and
then had suddenly been brought forth to incriminate themselves in the usual
way. They had confessed to intelligence with the enemy (at that date, too, the
enemy was Eurasia), embezzlement of public funds, the murder of various trusted
Party members, intrigues against the leadership of Big Brother which had
started long before the Revolution happened, and acts of sabotage causing the
death of hundreds of thousands of people. After confessing to these things they
had been pardoned, reinstated in the Party, and given posts which were in fact
sinecures but which sounded important. All three had written long, abject
articles in The Times, analysing the reasons for their defection and promising
to make amends.
Some time
after their release Winston had actually seen all three of them in the Chestnut
Tree Cafe/. He remembered the sort of terrified fascination with which he had
watched them out of the corner of his eye. They were men far older than
himself, relics of the ancient world, almost the last great figures left over
from the heroic days of the Party. The glamour of the underground struggle and
the civil war still faintly clung to them. He had the feeling, though already
at that time facts and dates were growing blurry, that he had known their names
years earlier than he had known that of Big Brother. But also they were
outlaws, enemies, untouchables, doomed with absolute certainty to extinction
within a year or two. No one who had once fallen into the hands of the Thought
Police ever escaped in the end. They were corpses waiting to be sent back to
the grave.
There was no
one at any of the tables nearest to them. It was not wise even to be seen in
the neighbourhood of such people. They were sitting in silence before glasses
of the gin flavoured with cloves which was the speciality of the cafe/. Of the
three, it was Rutherford whose appearance had most impressed Winston.
Rutherford had once been a famous caricaturist, whose brutal cartoons had
helped to inflame popular opinion before and during the Revolution. Even now,
at long intervals, his cartoons were appearing in The Times. They were simply
an imitation of his earlier manner, and curiously lifeless and unconvincing.
Always they were a rehashing of the ancient themes -- slum tenements, starving
children, street battles, capitalists in top hats -- even on the barricades the
capitalists still seemed to cling to their top hats an endless, hopeless effort
to get back into the past. He was a monstrous man, with a mane of greasy grey
hair, his face pouched and seamed, with thick negroid lips. At one time he must
have been immensely strong; now his great body was sagging, sloping, bulging,
falling away in every direction. He seemed to be breaking up before one's eyes,
like a mountain crumbling.
It was the
lonely hour of fifteen. Winston could not now remember how he had come to be in
the cafe/ at such a time. The place was almost empty. A tinny music was
trickling from the telescreens. The three men sat in their corner almost
motionless, never speaking. Uncommanded, the waiter brought fresh glasses of
gin. There was a chessboard on the table beside them, with the pieces set out
but no game started. And then, for perhaps half a minute in all, something
happened to the telescreens. The tune that they were playing changed, and the
tone of the music changed too. There came into it -- but it was something hard
to describe. It was a peculiar, cracked, braying, jeering note: in his mind
Winston called it a yellow note. And then a voice from the telescreen was
singing:
Under the
spreading chestnut tree
I sold you
and you sold me:
There lie
they, and here lie we
Under the
spreading chestnut tree.
The three men
never stirred. But when Winston glanced again at Rutherford's ruinous face, he
saw that his eyes were full of tears. And for the first time he noticed, with a
kind of inward shudder, and yet not knowing at what he shuddered, that both
Aaronson and Rutherford had broken noses.
A little
later all three were re-arrested. It appeared that they had engaged in fresh
conspiracies from the very moment of their release. At their second trial they
confessed to all their old crimes over again, with a whole string of new ones.
They were executed, and their fate was recorded in the Party histories, a
warning to posterity. About five years after this, in 1973, Winston was
unrolling a wad of documents which had just flopped out of the pneumatic tube
on to his desk when he came on a fragment of paper which had evidently been
slipped in among the others and then forgotten. The instant he had flattened it
out he saw its significance. It was a half-page torn out of The Times of about
ten years earlier -- the top half of the page, so that it included the date --
and it contained a photograph of the delegates at some Party function in New
York. Prominent in the middle of the group were Jones, Aaronson, and
Rutherford. There was no mistaking them, in any case their names were in the
caption at the bottom.
The point was
that at both trials all three men had confessed that on that date they had been
on Eurasian soil. They had flown from a secret airfield in Canada to a
rendezvous somewhere in Siberia, and had conferred with members of the Eurasian
General Staff, to whom they had betrayed important military secrets. The date
had stuck in Winston's memory because it chanced to be midsummer day; but the
whole story must be on record in countless other places as well. There was only
one possible conclusion: the confessions were lies.
Of course,
this was not in itself a discovery. Even at that time Winston had not imagined
that the people who were wiped out in the purges had actually committed the
crimes that they were accused of. But this was concrete evidence; it was a
fragment of the abolished past, like a fossil bone which turns up in the wrong
stratum and destroys a geological theory. It was enough to blow the Party to
atoms, if in some way it could have been published to the world and its
significance made known.
He had gone
straight on working. As soon as he saw what the photograph was, and what it
meant, he had covered it up with another sheet of paper. Luckily, when he
unrolled it, it had been upside-down from the point of view of the telescreen.
He took his
scribbling pad on his knee and pushed back his chair so as to get as far away
from the telescreen as possible. To keep your face expressionless was not
difficult, and even your breathing could be controlled, with an effort: but you
could not control the beating of your heart, and the telescreen was quite
delicate enough to pick it up. He let what he judged to be ten minutes go by,
tormented all the while by the fear that some accident -- a sudden draught
blowing across his desk, for instance -- would betray him. Then, without
uncovering it again, he dropped the photograph into the memory hole, along with
some other waste papers. Within another minute, perhaps, it would have crumbled
into ashes.
That was ten
-- eleven years ago. Today, probably, he would have kept that photograph. It
was curious that the fact of having held it in his fingers seemed to him to
make a difference even now, when the photograph itself, as well as the event it
recorded, was only memory. Was the Party's hold upon the past less strong, he
wondered, because a piece of evidence which existed no longer had once existed?
But today,
supposing that it could be somehow resurrected from its ashes, the photograph
might not even be evidence. Already, at the time when he made his discovery,
Oceania was no longer at war with Eurasia, and it must have been to the agents
of Eastasia that the three dead men had betrayed their country. Since then
there had been other changes -- two, three, he could not remember how many.
Very likely the confessions had been rewritten and rewritten until the original
facts and dates no longer had the smallest significance. The past not only
changed, but changed continuously. What most afflicted him with the sense of
nightmare was that he had never clearly understood why the huge imposture was
undertaken. The immediate advantages of falsifying the past were obvious, but
the ultimate motive was mysterious. He took up his pen again and wrote:
I understand
HOW: I do not understand WHY.
He wondered,
as he had many times wondered before, whether he himself was a lunatic. Perhaps
a lunatic was simply a minority of one. At one time it had been a sign of
madness to believe that the earth goes round the sun; today, to believe that
the past is inalterable. He might be alone in holding that belief, and if
alone, then a lunatic. But the thought of being a lunatic did not greatly
trouble him: the horror was that he might also be wrong.
He picked up
the children's history book and looked at the portrait of Big Brother which
formed its frontispiece. The hypnotic eyes gazed into his own. It was as though
some huge force were pressing down upon you -- something that penetrated inside
your skull, battering against your brain, frightening you out of your beliefs,
persuading you, almost, to deny the evidence of your senses. In the end the
Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe
it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the
logic of their position demanded it. Not merely the validity of experience, but
the very existence of external reality, was tacitly denied by their philosophy.
The heresy of heresies was common sense. And what was terrifying was not that
they would kill you for thinking otherwise, but that they might be right. For,
after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of
gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the
external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable
what then?
But no! His
courage seemed suddenly to stiffen of its own accord. The face of O'Brien, not
called up by any obvious association, had floated into his mind. He knew, with
more certainty than before, that O'Brien was on his side. He was writing the
diary for O'Brien -- to O'Brien: it was like an interminable letter which no
one would ever read, but which was addressed to a particular person and took
its colour from that fact.
The Party
told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most
essential command. His heart sank as he thought of the enormous power arrayed
against him, the ease with which any Party intellectual would overthrow him in
debate, the subtle arguments which he would not be able to understand, much
less answer. And yet he was in the right! They were wrong and he was right. The
obvious, the silly, and the true had got to be defended. Truisms are true, hold
on to that! The solid world exists, its laws do not change. Stones are hard,
water is wet, objects unsupported fall towards the earth's centre. With the
feeling that he was speaking to O'Brien, and also that he was setting forth an
important axiom, he wrote:
Freedom is
the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else
follows.
x x x
From
somewhere at the bottom of a passage the smell of roasting coffee -- real
coffee, not Victory Coffee -- came floating out into the street. Winston paused
involuntarily. For perhaps two seconds he was back in the half-forgotten world
of his childhood. Then a door banged, seeming to cut off the smell as abruptly
as though it had been a sound.
He had walked
several kilometres over pavements, and his varicose ulcer was throbbing. This
was the second time in three weeks that he had missed an evening at the
Community Centre: a rash act, since you could be certain that the number of
your attendances at the Centre was carefully checked. In principle a Party
member had no spare time, and was never alone except in bed. It was assumed
that when he was not working, eating, or sleeping he would be taking part in
some kind of communal recreation: to do anything that suggested a taste for
solitude, even to go for a walk by yourself, was always slightly dangerous.
There was a word for it in Newspeak: ownlife, it was called, meaning
individualism and eccentricity. But this evening as he came out of the Ministry
the balminess of the April air had tempted him. The sky was a warmer blue than
he had seen it that year, and suddenly the long, noisy evening at the Centre,
the boring, exhausting games, the lectures, the creaking camaraderie oiled by
gin, had seemed intolerable. On impulse he had turned away from the bus-stop
and wandered off into the labyrinth of London, first south, then east, then
north again, losing himself among unknown streets and hardly bothering in which
direction he was going.
'If there is
hope,' he had written in the diary, 'it lies in the proles.' The words kept
coming back to him, statement of a mystical truth and a palpable absurdity. He
was somewhere in the vague, brown-coloured slums to the north and east of what
had once been Saint Pancras Station. He was walking up a cobbled street of
little two-storey houses with battered doorways which gave straight on the
pavement and which were somehow curiously suggestive of ratholes. There were
puddles of filthy water here and there among the cobbles. In and out of the
dark doorways, and down narrow alley-ways that branched off on either side,
people swarmed in astonishing numbers -- girls in full bloom, with crudely
lipsticked mouths, and youths who chased the girls, and swollen waddling women
who showed you what the girls would be like in ten years' time, and old bent
creatures shuffling along on splayed feet, and ragged barefooted children who
played in the puddles and then scattered at angry yells from their mothers.
Perhaps a quarter of the windows in the street were broken and boarded up. Most
of the people paid no attention to Winston; a few eyed him with a sort of
guarded curiosity. Two monstrous women with brick-red forearms folded across
their aprons were talking outside a doorway. Winston caught scraps of
conversation as he approached.
'
"Yes," I says to 'er, "that's all very well," I says.
"But if you'd of been in my place you'd of done the same as what I done.
It's easy to criticize," I says, "but you ain't got the same problems
as what I got." '
'Ah,' said
the other, 'that's jest it. That's jest where it is.'
The strident
voices stopped abruptly. The women studied him in hostile silence as he went
past. But it was not hostility, exactly; merely a kind of wariness, a momentary
stiffening, as at the passing of some unfamiliar animal. The blue overalls of
the Party could not be a common sight in a street like this. Indeed, it was
unwise to be seen in such places, unless you had definite business there. The
patrols might stop you if you happened to run into them. 'May I see your
papers, comrade? What are you doing here? What time did you leave work? Is this
your usual way home?' -- and so on and so forth. Not that there was any rule
against walking home by an unusual route: but it was enough to draw attention
to you if the Thought Police heard about it.
Suddenly the
whole street was in commotion. There were yells of warning from all sides.
People were shooting into the doorways like rabbits. A young woman leapt out of
a doorway a little ahead of Winston, grabbed up a tiny child playing in a
puddle, whipped her apron round it, and leapt back again, all in one movement.
At the same instant a man in a concertina-like black suit, who had emerged from
a side alley, ran towards Winston, pointing excitedly to the sky.
'Steamer!' he
yelled. 'Look out, guv'nor! Bang over'ead!
Lay down
quick!'
'Steamer' was
a nickname which, for some reason, the proles applied to rocket bombs. Winston
promptly flung himself on his face. The proles were nearly always right when
they gave you a warning of this kind. They seemed to possess some kind of
instinct which told them several seconds in advance when a rocket was coming,
although the rockets supposedly travelled faster than sound. Winston clasped
his forearms above his head. There was a roar that seemed to make the pavement
heave; a shower of light objects pattered on to his back. When he stood up he
found that he was covered with fragments of glass from the nearest window.
He walked on.
The bomb had demolished a group of houses 200 metres up the street. A black
plume of smoke hung in the sky, and below it a cloud of plaster dust in which a
crowd was already forming around the ruins. There was a little pile of plaster
lying on the pavement ahead of him, and in the middle of it he could see a
bright red streak. When he got up to it he saw that it was a human hand severed
at the wrist. Apart from the bloody stump, the hand was so completely whitened
as to resemble a plaster cast.
He kicked the
thing into the gutter, and then, to avoid the crowd, turned down a side-street
to the right. Within three or four minutes he was out of the area which the
bomb had affected, and the sordid swarming life of the streets was going on as
though nothing had happened. It was nearly twenty hours, and the drinking-shops
which the proles frequented ('pubs', they called them) were choked with customers.
From their grimy swing doors, endlessly opening and shutting, there came forth
a smell of urine, sawdust, and sour beer. In an angle formed by a projecting
house- front three men were standing very close together, the middle one of
them holding a folded-up newspaper which the other two were studying over his
shoulder. Even before he was near enough to make out the expression on their
faces, Winston could see absorption in every line of their bodies. It was
obviously some serious piece of news that they were reading. He was a few paces
away from them when suddenly the group broke up and two of the men were in
violent altercation. For a moment they seemed almost on the point of blows.
'Can't you
bleeding well listen to what I say? I tell you no number ending in seven ain't
won for over fourteen months!'
'Yes, it 'as,
then!'
'No, it 'as
not! Back 'ome I got the 'ole lot of 'em for over two years wrote down on a
piece of paper. I takes 'em down reg'lar as the clock. An' I tell you, no
number ending in seven-'
'Yes, a seven
'as won! I could pretty near tell you the bleeding number. Four oh seven, it
ended in. It were in February -- second week in February.'
'February
your grandmother! I got it all down in black and white. An' I tell you, no
number-'
'Oh, pack it
in!' said the third man.
They were
talking about the Lottery. Winston looked back when he had gone thirty metres.
They were still arguing, with vivid, passionate faces. The Lottery, with its
weekly pay-out of enormous prizes, was the one public event to which the proles
paid serious attention. It was probable that there were some millions of proles
for whom the Lottery was the principal if not the only reason for remaining
alive. It was their delight, their folly, their anodyne, their intellectual
stimulant. Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could barely read
and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of
memory. There was a whole tribe of men who made a living simply by selling
systems, forecasts, and lucky amulets. Winston had nothing to do with the
running of the Lottery, which was managed by the Ministry of Plenty, but he was
aware (indeed everyone in the party was aware) that the prizes were largely
imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid out, the winners of the big
prizes being non-existent persons. In the absence of any real
intercommunication between one part of Oceania and another, this was not
difficult to arrange.
But if there
was hope, it lay in the proles. You had to cling on to that. When you put it in
words it sounded reasonable: it was when you looked at the human beings passing
you on the pavement that it became an act of faith. The street into which he
had turned ran downhill. He had a feeling that he had been in this neighbourhood
before, and that there was a main thoroughfare not far away. From somewhere
ahead there came a din of shouting voices. The street took a sharp turn and
then ended in a flight of steps which led down into a sunken alley where a few
stallkeepers were selling tired-looking vegetables. At this moment Winston
remembered where he was. The alley led out into the main street, and down the
next turning, not five minutes away, was the junk-shop where he had bought the
blank book which was now his diary. And in a small stationer's shop not far
away he had bought his penholder and his bottle of ink.
He paused for
a moment at the top of the steps. On the opposite side of the alley there was a
dingy little pub whose windows appeared to be frosted over but in reality were
merely coated with dust. A very old man, bent but active, with white moustaches
that bristled forward like those of a prawn, pushed open the swing door and
went in. As Winston stood watching, it occurred to him that the old man, who
must be eighty at the least, had already been middle- aged when the Revolution
happened. He and a few others like him were the last links that now existed
with the vanished world of capitalism. In the Party itself there were not many
people left whose ideas had been formed before the Revolution. The older
generation had mostly been wiped out in the great purges of the fifties and
sixties, and the few who survived had long ago been terrified into complete
intellectual surrender. If there was any one still alive who could give you a
truthful account of conditions in the early part of the century, it could only
be a prole. Suddenly the passage from the history book that he had copied into
his diary came back into Winston's mind, and a lunatic impulse took hold of
him. He would go into the pub, he would scrape acquaintance with that old man
and question him. He would say to him: 'Tell me about your life when you were a
boy. What was it like in those days? Were things better than they are now, or
were they worse?'
Hurriedly,
lest he should have time to become frightened, he descended the steps and
crossed the narrow street. It was madness of course. As usual, there was no
definite rule against talking to proles and frequenting their pubs, but it was
far too unusual an action to pass unnoticed. If the patrols appeared he might
plead an attack of faintness, but it was not likely that they would believe
him. He pushed open the door, and a hideous cheesy smell of sour beer hit him
in the face. As he entered the din of voices dropped to about half its volume.
Behind his back he could feel everyone eyeing his blue overalls. A game of
darts which was going on at the other end of the room interrupted itself for
perhaps as much as thirty seconds. The old man whom he had followed was
standing at the bar, having some kind of altercation with the barman, a large,
stout, hook-nosed young man with enormous forearms. A knot of others, standing
round with glasses in their hands, were watching the scene.
'I arst you
civil enough, didn't I?' said the old man, straightening his shoulders
pugnaciously. 'You telling me you ain't got a pint mug in the 'ole bleeding
boozer?'
'And what in
hell's name is a pint?' said the barman, leaning forward with the tips of his
fingers on the counter.
'Ark at 'im !
Calls 'isself a barman and don't know what a pint is! Why, a pint's the 'alf of
a quart, and there's four quarts to the gallon. 'Ave to teach you the A, B, C
next.'
'Never heard
of 'em,' said the barman shortly. 'Litre and half litre -- that's all we serve.
There's the glasses on the shelf in front of you.
'I likes a
pint,' persisted the old man. 'You could 'a drawed me off a pint easy enough.
We didn't 'ave these bleeding litres when I was a young man.'
'When you
were a young man we were all living in the treetops,' said the barman, with a
glance at the other customers.
There was a
shout of laughter, and the uneasiness caused by Winston's entry seemed to
disappear. The old man's whitestubbled face had flushed pink. He turned away,
muttering to himself, and bumped into Winston. Winston caught him gently by the
arm.
'May I offer
you a drink?' he said.
'You're a
gent,' said the other, straightening his shoulders again. He appeared not to
have noticed Winston's blue overalls. 'Pint!' he added aggressively to the
barman. 'Pint of wallop.'
The barman
swished two half-litres of dark-brown beer into thick glasses which he had
rinsed in a bucket under the counter. Beer was the only drink you could get in
prole pubs. The proles were supposed not to drink gin, though in practice they
could get hold of it easily enough. The game of darts was in full swing again,
and the knot of men at the bar had begun talking about lottery tickets.
Winston's presence was forgotten for a moment. There was a deal table under the
window where he and the old man could talk without fear of being overheard. It
was horribly dangerous, but at any rate there was no telescreen in the room, a
point he had made sure of as soon as he came in.
"E could
'a drawed me off a pint,' grumbled the old man as he settled down behind a
glass. 'A 'alf litre ain't enough. It don't satisfy. And a 'ole litre's too
much. It starts my bladder running. Let alone the price.'
'You must
have seen great changes since you were a young man,' said Winston tentatively.
The old man's
pale blue eyes moved from the darts board to the bar, and from the bar to the
door of the Gents, as though it were in the bar-room that he expected the
changes to have occurred.
'The beer was
better,' he said finally. 'And cheaper! When I was a young man, mild beer --
wallop we used to call it -- was fourpence a pint. That was before the war, of
course.'
'Which war
was that?' said Winston.
'It's all
wars,' said the old man vaguely. He took up his glass, and his shoulders
straightened again. "Ere's wishing you the very best of 'ealth!'
In his lean
throat the sharp-pointed Adam's apple made a surprisingly rapid up-and-down
movement, and the beer vanished. Winston went to the bar and came back with two
more half-litres. The old man appeared to have forgotten his prejudice against
drinking a full litre.
'You are very
much older than I am,' said Winston. 'You must have been a grown man before I
was born. You can remember what it was like in the old days, before the
Revolution. People of my age don't really know anything about those times. We
can only read about them in books, and what it says in the books may not be
true. I should like your opinion on that. The history books say that life
before the Revolution was completely different from what it is now. There was
the most terrible oppression, injustice, poverty worse than anything we can
imagine. Here in London, the great mass of the people never had enough to eat
from birth to death. Half of them hadn't even boots on their feet. They worked
twelve hours a day, they left school at nine, they slept ten in a room. And at
the same time there were a very few people, only a few thousands -- the
capitalists, they were called -- who were rich and powerful. They owned
everything that there was to own. They lived in great gorgeous houses with
thirty servants, they rode about in motor-cars and four-horse carriages, they
drank champagne, they wore top hats-'
The old man
brightened suddenly.
'Top 'ats!'
he said. 'Funny you should mention 'em. The same thing come into my 'ead only
yesterday, I dono why. I was jest thinking, I ain't seen a top 'at in years.
Gorn right out, they 'ave. The last time I wore one was at my sister-in-law's
funeral. And that was -- well, I couldn't give you the date, but it must'a been
fifty years ago. Of course it was only 'ired for the occasion, you understand.'
'It isn't
very important about the top hats,' said Winston patiently. 'The point is,
these capitalists -- they and a few lawyers and priests and so forth who lived
on them -- were the lords of the earth. Everything existed for their benefit.
You -- the ordinary people, the workers -- were their slaves. They could do
what they liked with you. They could ship you off to Canada like cattle. They
could sleep with your daughters if they chose. They could order you to be
flogged with something called a cat-o'-nine tails. You had to take your cap off
when you passed them. Every capitalist went about with a gang of lackeys who-'
The old man
brightened again.
'Lackeys !'
he said. 'Now there's a word I ain't 'eard since ever so long. Lackeys! That
reg'lar takes me back, that does. I recollect oh, donkey's years ago -- I used
to sometimes go to 'Yde Park of a Sunday afternoon to 'ear the blokes making
speeches. Salvation Army, Roman Catholics, Jews, Indians -- all sorts there
was. And there was one bloke -- well, I couldn't give you 'is name, but a real
powerful speaker 'e was. 'E didn't 'alf give it 'em! "Lackeys!" 'e
says, "lackeys of the bourgeoisie! Flunkies of the ruling class!"
Parasites -- that was another of them. And 'yenas -- 'e definitely called 'em
'yenas. Of course 'e was referring to the Labour Party, you understand.'
Winston had
the feeling that they were talking at cross-purposes.
'What I
really wanted to know was this,' he said. 'Do you feel that you have more
freedom now than you had in those days? Are you treated more like a human
being? In the old days, the rich people, the people at the top-'
'The 'Ouse of
Lords,' put in the old man reminiscently.
'The House of
Lords, if you like. What I am asking is, were these people able to treat you as
an inferior, simply because they were rich and you were poor? Is it a fact, for
instance, that you had to call them "Sir" and take off your cap when
you passed them?'
The old man appeared
to think deeply. He drank off about a quarter of his beer before answering.
'Yes,' he
said. 'They liked you to touch your cap to 'em. It showed respect, like. I
didn't agree with it, myself, but I done it often enough. Had to, as you might
say.'
'And was it
usual -- I'm only quoting what I've read in history books -- was it usual for
these people and their servants to push you off the pavement into the gutter?'
'One of 'em
pushed me once,' said the old man. 'I recollect it as if it was yesterday. It
was Boat Race night -- terribly rowdy they used to get on Boat Race night --
and I bumps into a young bloke on Shaftesbury Avenue. Quite a gent, 'e was --
dress shirt, top 'at, black overcoat. 'E was kind of zig-zagging across the
pavement, and I bumps into 'im accidental-like. 'E says, "Why can't you
look where you're going?" 'e says. I say, "Ju think you've bought the
bleeding pavement?" 'E says, "I'll twist your bloody 'ead off if you
get fresh with me." I says, "You're drunk. I'll give you in charge in
'alf a minute," I says. An' if you'll believe me, 'e puts 'is 'and on my
chest and gives me a shove as pretty near sent me under the wheels of a bus.
Well, I was young in them days, and I was going to 'ave fetched 'im one, only-'
A sense of
helplessness took hold of Winston. The old man's memory was nothing but a
rubbish-heap of details. One could question him all day without getting any
real information. The party histories might still be true, after a fashion:
they might even be completely true. He made a last attempt.
'Perhaps I
have not made myself clear,' he said. 'What I'm trying to say is this. You have
been alive a very long time; you lived half your life before the Revolution. In
1925, for instance, you were already grown up. Would you say from what you can
remember, that life in 1925 was better than it is now, or worse? If you could
choose, would you prefer to live then or now?'
The old man
looked meditatively at the darts board. He finished up his beer, more slowly
than before. When he spoke it was with a tolerant philosophical air, as though
the beer had mellowed him.
'I know what
you expect me to say,' he said. 'You expect me to say as I'd sooner be young
again. Most people'd say they'd sooner be young, if you arst' 'em. You got your
'ealth and strength when you're young. When you get to my time of life you
ain't never well. I suffer something wicked from my feet, and my bladder's jest
terrible. Six and seven times a night it 'as me out of bed. On the other 'and,
there's great advantages in being a old man. You ain't got the same worries. No
truck with women, and that's a great thing. I ain't 'ad a woman for near on
thirty year, if you'd credit it. Nor wanted to, what's more.'
Winston sat
back against the window-sill. It was no use going on. He was about to buy some
more beer when the old man suddenly got up and shuffled rapidly into the
stinking urinal at the side of the room. The extra half-litre was already
working on him. Winston sat for a minute or two gazing at his empty glass, and hardly
noticed when his feet carried him out into the street again. Within twenty
years at the most, he reflected, the huge and simple question, 'Was life better
before the Revolution than it is now?' would have ceased once and for all to be
answerable. But in effect it was unanswerable even now, since the few scattered
survivors from the ancient world were incapable of comparing one age with
another. They remembered a million useless things, a quarrel with a workmate, a
hunt for a lost bicycle pump, the expression on a long-dead sister's face, the
swirls of dust on a windy morning seventy years ago: but all the relevant facts
were outside the range of their vision. They were like the ant, which can see
small objects but not large ones. And when memory failed and written records
were falsified -- when that happened, the claim of the Party to have improved
the conditions of human life had got to be accepted, because there did not
exist, and never again could exist, any standard against which it could be
tested.
At this
moment his train of thought stopped abruptly. He halted and looked up. He was
in a narrow street, with a few dark little shops, interspersed among
dwelling-houses. Immediately above his head there hung three discoloured metal
balls which looked as if they had once been gilded. He seemed to know the
place. Of course! He was standing outside the junk-shop where he had bought the
diary.
A twinge of
fear went through him. It had been a sufficiently rash act to buy the book in
the beginning, and he had sworn never to come near the place again. And yet the
instant that he allowed his thoughts to wander, his feet had brought him back
here of their own accord. It was precisely against suicidal impulses of this
kind that he had hoped to guard himself by opening the diary. At the same time
he noticed that although it was nearly twenty-one hours the shop was still
open. With the feeling that he would be less conspicuous inside than hanging
about on the pavement, he stepped through the doorway. If questioned, he could
plausibly say that he was trying to buy razor blades.
The
proprietor had just lighted a hanging oil lamp which gave off an unclean but
friendly smell. He was a man of perhaps sixty, frail and bowed, with a long,
benevolent nose, and mild eyes distorted by thick spectacles. His hair was
almost white, but his eyebrows were bushy and still black. His spectacles, his
gentle, fussy movements, and the fact that he was wearing an aged jacket of
black velvet, gave him a vague air of intellectuality, as though he had been
some kind of literary man, or perhaps a musician. His voice was soft, as though
faded, and his accent less debased than that of the majority of proles.
'I recognized
you on the pavement,' he said immediately. 'You're the gentleman that bought
the young lady's keepsake album. That was a beautiful bit of paper, that was.
Cream- laid, it used to be called. There's been no paper like that made for --
oh, I dare say fifty years.' He peered at Winston over the top of his
spectacles. 'Is there anything special I can do for you? Or did you just want
to look round?'
'I was
passing,' said Winston vaguely. 'I just looked in. I don't want anything in
particular.'
'It's just as
well,' said the other, 'because I don't suppose I could have satisfied you.' He
made an apologetic gesture with his softpalmed hand. 'You see how it is; an
empty shop, you might say. Between you and me, the antique trade's just about
finished. No demand any longer, and no stock either. Furniture, china, glass
it's all been broken up by degrees. And of course the metal stuff's mostly been
melted down. I haven't seen a brass candlestick in years.'
The tiny
interior of the shop was in fact uncomfortably full, but there was almost
nothing in it of the slightest value. The floorspace was very restricted,
because all round the walls were stacked innumerable dusty picture-frames. In
the window there were trays of nuts and bolts, worn-out chisels, penknives with
broken blades, tarnished watches that did not even pretend to be in going order,
and other miscellaneous rubbish. Only on a small table in the corner was there
a litter of odds and ends -- lacquered snuffboxes, agate brooches, and the like
-- which looked as though they might include something interesting. As Winston
wandered towards the table his eye was caught by a round, smooth thing that
gleamed softly in the lamplight, and he picked it up.
It was a
heavy lump of glass, curved on one side, flat on the other, making almost a
hemisphere. There was a peculiar softness, as of rainwater, in both the colour
and the texture of the glass. At the heart of it, magnified by the curved
surface, there was a strange, pink, convoluted object that recalled a rose or a
sea anemone.
'What is it?'
said Winston, fascinated.
'That's
coral, that is,' said the old man. 'It must have come from the Indian Ocean.
They used to kind of embed it in the glass. That wasn't made less than a
hundred years ago. More, by the look of it.'
'It's a
beautiful thing,' said Winston.
'It is a
beautiful thing,' said the other appreciatively. 'But there's not many that'd
say so nowadays.' He coughed. 'Now, if it so happened that you wanted to buy
it, that'd cost you four dollars. I can remember when a thing like that would
have fetched eight pounds, and eight pounds was -- well, I can't work it out,
but it was a lot of money. But who cares about genuine antiques nowadays even
the few that's left?'
Winston
immediately paid over the four dollars and slid the coveted thing into his
pocket. What appealed to him about it was not so much its beauty as the air it
seemed to possess of belonging to an age quite different from the present one.
The soft, rainwatery glass was not like any glass that he had ever seen. The
thing was doubly attractive because of its apparent uselessness, though he
could guess that it must once have been intended as a paperweight. It was very
heavy in his pocket, but fortunately it did not make much of a bulge. It was a
queer thing, even a compromising thing, for a Party member to have in his
possession. Anything old, and for that matter anything beautiful, was always
vaguely suspect. The old man had grown noticeably more cheerful after receiving
the four dollars. Winston realized that he would have accepted three or even
two.
'There's
another room upstairs that you might care to take a look at,' he said. 'There's
not much in it. Just a few pieces. We'll do with a light if we're going
upstairs.'
He lit
another lamp, and, with bowed back, led the way slowly up the steep and worn
stairs and along a tiny passage, into a room which did not give on the street
but looked out on a cobbled yard and a forest of chimney-pots. Winston noticed
that the furniture was still arranged as though the room were meant to be lived
in. There was a strip of carpet on the floor, a picture or two on the walls,
and a deep, slatternly arm-chair drawn up to the fireplace. An old-fashioned
glass clock with a twelve-hour face was ticking away on the mantelpiece. Under
the window, and occupying nearly a quarter of the room, was an enormous bed
with the mattress still on it.
'We lived
here till my wife died,' said the old man half apologetically. 'I'm selling the
furniture off by little and little. Now that's a beautiful mahogany bed, or at
least it would be if you could get the bugs out of it. But I dare say you'd
find it a little bit cumbersome.
He was
holdlng the lamp high up, so as to illuminate the whole room, and in the warm
dim light the place looked curiously inviting. The thought flitted through
Winston's mind that it would probably be quite easy to rent the room for a few
dollars a week, if he dared to take the risk. It was a wild, impossible notion,
to be abandoned as soon as thought of; but the room had awakened in him a sort
of nostalgia, a sort of ancestral memory. It seemed to him that he knew exactly
what it felt like to sit in a room like this, in an arm-chair beside an open
fire with your feet in the fender and a kettle on the hob; utterly alone,
utterly secure, with nobody watching you, no voice pursuing you, no sound except
the singing of the kettle and the friendly ticking of the clock.
'There's no
telescreen!' he could not help murmuring.
'Ah,' said
the old man, 'I never had one of those things. Too expensive. And I never
seemed to feel the need of it, somehow. Now that's a nice gateleg table in the
corner there. Though of course you'd have to put new hinges on it if you wanted
to use the flaps.'
There was a
small bookcase in the other corner, and Winston had already gravitated towards
it. It contained nothing but rubbish. The hunting-down and destruction of books
had been done with the same thoroughness in the prole quarters as everywhere
else. It was very unlikely that there existed anywhere in Oceania a copy of a
book printed earlier than 1960. The old man, still carrying the lamp, was
standing in front of a picture in a rosewood frame which hung on the other side
of the fireplace, opposite the bed.
'Now, if you
happen to be interested in old prints at all -' he began delicately.
Winston came
across to examine the picture. It was a steel engraving of an oval building
with rectangular windows, and a small tower in front. There was a railing
running round the building, and at the rear end there was what appeared to be a
statue. Winston gazed at it for some moments. It seemed vaguely familiar,
though he did not remember the statue.
'The frame's
fixed to the wall,' said the old man, 'but I could unscrew it for you, I dare
say.'
'I know that
building,' said Winston finally. 'It's a ruin now. It's in the middle of the street
outside the Palace of
Justice.'
'That's
right. Outside the Law Courts. It was bombed in -- oh, many years ago. It was a
church at one time, St Clement Danes, its name was.' He smiled apologetically,
as though conscious of saying something slightly ridiculous, and added:
'Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's!'
'What's
that?' said Winston.
'Oh-"Oranges
and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's." That was a rhyme we had when I
was a little boy. How it goes on I don't remember, but I do know it ended up,
"Here comes a candle to light you to bed, Here comes a chopper to chop off
your head." It was a kind of a dance. They held out their arms for you to
pass under, and when they came to "Here comes a chopper to chop off your head"
they brought their arms down and caught you. It was just names of churches. All
the London churches were in it -- all the principal ones, that is.'
Winston
wondered vaguely to what century the church belonged. It was always difficult
to determine the age of a London building. Anything large and impressive, if it
was reasonably new in appearance, was automatically claimed as having been
built since the Revolution, while anything that was obviously of earlier date
was ascribed to some dim period called the Middle Ages. The centuries of
capitalism were held to have produced nothing of any value. One could not learn
history from architecture any more than one could learn it from books. Statues,
inscriptions, memorial stones, the names of streets -- anything that might throw
light upon the past had been systematically altered.
'I never knew
it had been a church,' he said.
'There's a
lot of them left, really,' said the old man, 'though they've been put to other
uses. Now, how did that rhyme go? Ah! I've got it!
"Oranges
and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's,
You owe me
three farthings, say the bells of St Martin's
--
"there, now, that's as far as I can get. A farthing, that was a small
copper coin, looked something like a cent.'
'Where was St
Martin's?' said Winston.
'St Martin's
? That's still standing. It's in Victory Square, alongside the picture gallery.
A building with a kind of a triangular porch and pillars in front, and a big
flight of steps.'
Winston knew
the place well. It was a museum used for propaganda displays of various kinds
-- scale models of rocket bombs and Floating Fortresses, waxwork tableaux
illustrating enemy atrocities, and the like.
'St
Martin's-in-the-Fields it used to be called,' supplemented the old man, 'though
I don't recollect any fields anywhere in those parts.'
Winston did
not buy the picture. It would have been an even more incongruous possession
than the glass paperweight, and impossible to carry home, unless it were taken
out of its frame. But he lingered for some minutes more, talking to the old
man, whose name, he discovered, was not Weeks-as one might have gathered from
the inscription over the shop- front -- but Charrington. Mr Charrington, it
seemed, was a widower aged sixty-three and had inhabited this shop for thirty
years. Throughout that time he had been intending to alter the name over the
window, but had never quite got to the point of doing it. All the while that
they were talking the half-remembered rhyme kept running through Winston's
head. Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clement's, You owe me three
farthings, say the bells of St Martin's ! It was curious, but when you said it
to yourself you had the illusion of actually hearing bells, the bells of a lost
London that still existed somewhere or other, disguised and forgotten. From one
ghostly steeple after another he seemed to hear them pealing forth. Yet so far
as he could remember he had never in real life heard church bells ringing.
He got away
from Mr Charrington and went down the stairs alone, so as not to let the old
man see him reconnoitring the street before stepping out of the door. He had
already made up his mind that after a suitable interval -- a month, say -- he
would take the risk of visiting the shop again. It was perhaps not more
dangerous than shirking an evening at the Centre. The serious piece of folly
had been to come back here in the first place, after buying the diary and
without knowing whether the proprietor of the shop could be trusted. However-!
Yes, he
thought again, he would come back. He would buy further scraps of beautiful
rubbish. He would buy the engraving of St Clement Danes, take it out of its
frame, and carry it home concealed under the jacket of his overalls. He would
drag the rest of that poem out of Mr Charrington's memory. Even the lunatic
project of renting the room upstairs flashed momentarily through his mind
again. For perhaps five seconds exaltation made him careless, and he stepped
out on to the pavement without so much as a preliminary glance through the
window. He had even started humming to an improvised tune
Oranges and
lemons, say the bells of St Clement's,
You owe me
three farthings, say the
Suddenly his heart seemed to turn to ice and
his bowels to water. A figure in blue overalls was coming down the pavement,
not ten metres away. It was the girl from the Fiction Department, the girl with
dark hair. The light was failing, but there was no difficulty in recognizing
her. She looked him straight in the face, then walked quickly on as though she
had not seen him.
For a few
seconds Winston was too paralysed to move. Then he turned to the right and
walked heavily away, not noticing for the moment that he was going in the wrong
direction. At any rate, one question was settled. There was no doubting any
longer that the girl was spying on him. She must have followed him here,
because it was not credible that by pure chance she should have happened to be
walking on the same evening up the same obscure backstreet, kilometres distant
from any quarter where Party members lived. It was too great a coincidence.
Whether she was really an agent of the Thought Police, or simply an amateur spy
actuated by officiousness, hardly mattered. It was enough that she was watching
him. Probably she had seen him go into the pub as well.
It was an
effort to walk. The lump of glass in his pocket banged against his thigh at
each step, and he was half minded to take it out and throw it away. The worst
thing was the pain in his belly. For a couple of minutes he had the feeling
that he would die if he did not reach a lavatory soon. But there would be no
public lavatories in a quarter like this. Then the spasm passed, leaving a dull
ache behind.
The street
was a blind alley. Winston halted, stood for several seconds wondering vaguely
what to do, then turned round and began to retrace his steps. As he turned it
occurred to him that the girl had only passed him three minutes ago and that by
running he could probably catch up with her. He could keep on her track till
they were in some quiet place, and then smash her skull in with a cobblestone.
The piece of glass in his pocket would be heavy enough for the job. But he
abandoned the idea immediately, because even the thought of making any physical
effort was unbearable. He could not run, he could not strike a blow. Besides,
she was young and lusty and would defend herself. He thought also of hurrying
to the Community Centre and staying there till the place closed, so as to
establish a partial alibi for the evening. But that too was impossible. A
deadly lassitude had taken hold of him. All he wanted was to get home quickly
and then sit down and be quiet.
It was after
twenty-two hours when he got back to the flat. The lights would be switched off
at the main at twenty-three thirty. He went into the kitchen and swallowed
nearly a teacupful of Victory Gin. Then he went to the table in the alcove, sat
down, and took the diary out of the drawer. But he did not open it at once.
From the telescreen a brassy female voice was squalling a patriotic song. He
sat staring at the marbled cover of the book, trying without success to shut
the voice out of his consciousness.
It was at
night that they came for you, always at night. The proper thing was to kill
yourself before they got you. Undoubtedly some people did so. Many of the
disappearances were actually suicides. But it needed desperate courage to kill
yourself in a world where firearms, or any quick and certain poison, were
completely unprocurable. He thought with a kind of astonishment of the
biological uselessness of pain and fear, the treachery of the human body which
always freezes into inertia at exactly the moment when a special effort is
needed. He might have silenced the dark-haired girl if only he had acted
quickly enough: but precisely because of the extremity of his danger he had
lost the power to act. It struck him that in moments of crisis one is never
fighting against an external enemy, but always against one's own body. Even
now, in spite of the gin, the dull ache in his belly made consecutive thought impossible.
And it is the same, he perceived, in all seemingly heroic or tragic situations.
On the battlefield, in the torture chamber, on a sinking ship, the issues that
you are fighting for are always forgotten, because the body swells up until it
fills the universe, and even when you are not paralysed by fright or screaming
with pain, life is a moment-to-moment struggle against hunger or cold or
sleeplessness, against a sour stomach or an aching tooth.
He opened the
diary. It was important to write something down. The woman on the telescreen
had started a new song. Her voice seemed to stick into his brain like jagged
splinters of glass. He tried to think of O'Brien, for whom, or to whom, the
diary was written, but instead he began thinking of the things that would
happen to him after the Thought Police took him away. It would not matter if
they killed you at once. To be killed was what you expected. But before death
(nobody spoke of such things, yet everybody knew of them) there was the routine
of confession that had to be gone through: the grovelling on the floor and
screaming for mercy, the crack of broken bones, the smashed teeth, and bloody
clots of hair.
Why did you
have to endure it, since the end was always the same? Why was it not possible
to cut a few days or weeks out of your life? Nobody ever escaped detection, and
nobody ever failed to confess. When once you had succumbed to thoughtcrime it
was certain that by a given date you would be 0dead. Why then did that horror,
which altered nothing, have to lie embedded in future time?
He tried with
a little more success than before to summon up the image of O'Brien. 'We shall
meet in the place where there is no darkness,' O'Brien had said to him. He knew
what it meant, or thought he knew. The place where there is no darkness was the
imagined future, which one would never see, but which, by foreknowledge, one
could mystically share in. But with the voice from the telescreen nagging at
his ears he could not follow the train of thought further. He put a cigarette
in his mouth. Half the tobacco promptly fell out on to his tongue, a bitter
dust which was difficult to spit out again. The face of Big Brother swam into
his mind, displacing that of O'Brien. Just as he had done a few days earlier,
he slid a coin out of his pocket and looked at it. The face gazed up at him,
heavy, calm, protecting: but what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark
moustache? Like a leaden knell the words came back at him:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
* Chapter Two
*
It was the
middle of the morning, and Winston had left the cubicle to go to the lavatory.
A solitary
figure was coming towards him from the other end of the long, brightly-lit
corridor. It was the girl with dark hair. Four days had gone past since the
evening when he had run into her outside the junk-shop. As she came nearer he
saw that her right arm was in a sling, not noticeable at a distance because it
was of the same colour as her overalls. Probably she had crushed her hand while
swinging round one of the big kaleidoscopes on which the plots of novels were
'roughed in'. It was a common accident in the Fiction Department.
They were
perhaps four metres apart when the girl stumbled and fell almost flat on her
face. A sharp cry of pain was wrung out of her. She must have fallen right on
the injured arm. Winston stopped short. The girl had risen to her knees. Her
face had turned a milky yellow colour against which her mouth stood out redder
than ever. Her eyes were fixed on his, with an appealing expression that looked
more like fear than pain.
A curious
emotion stirred in Winston's heart. In front of him was an enemy who was trying
to kill him: in front of him, also, was a human creature, in pain and perhaps
with a broken bone. Already he had instinctively started forward to help her.
In the moment when he had seen her fall on the bandaged arm, it had been as
though he felt the pain in his own body.
'You're
hurt?' he said.
'It's
nothing. My arm. It'll be all right in a second.'
She spoke as
though her heart were fluttering. She had certainly turned very pale.
'You haven't
broken anything?'
'No, I'm all
right. It hurt for a moment, that's all.'
She held out
her free hand to him, and he helped her up. She had regained some of her
colour, and appeared very much better.
'It's
nothing,' she repeated shortly. 'I only gave my wrist a bit of a bang. Thanks,
comrade!'
And with that
she walked on in the direction in which she had been going, as briskly as
though it had really been nothing. The whole incident could not have taken as
much as half a minute. Not to let one's feelings appear in one's face was a
habit that had acquired the status of an instinct, and in any case they had
been standing straight in front of a telescreen when the thing happened.
Nevertheless it had been very difficult not to betray a momentary surprise, for
in the two or three seconds while he was helping her up the girl had slipped
something into his hand. There was no question that she had done it
intentionally. It was something small and flat. As he passed through the
lavatory door he transferred it to his pocket and felt it with the tips of his
fingers. It was a scrap of paper folded into a square.
While he
stood at the urinal he managed, with a little more fingering, to get it
unfolded. Obviously there must be a
message of
some kind written on it. For a moment he was tempted to take it into one of the
water-closets and read it at once. But that would be shocking folly, as he well
knew. There was no place where you could be more certain that the telescreens
were watched continuously.
He went back
to his cubicle, sat down, threw the fragment of paper casually among the other
papers on the desk, put on his spectacles and hitched the speakwrite towards
him. 'five minutes,' he told himself, 'five minutes at the very least!' His
heart bumped in his breast with frightening loudness. Fortunately the piece of
work he was engaged on was mere routine, the rectification of a long list of
figures, not needing close attention.
Whatever was
written on the paper, it must have some kind of political meaning. So far as he
could see there were two possibilities. One, much the more likely, was that the
girl was an agent of the Thought Police, just as he had feared. He did not know
why the Thought Police should choose to deliver their messages in such a
fashion, but perhaps they had their reasons. The thing that was written on the
paper might be a threat, a summons, an order to commit suicide, a trap of some
description. But there was another, wilder possibility that kept raising its
head, though he tried vainly to suppress it. This was, that the message did not
come from the Thought Police at all, but from some kind of underground
organization. Perhaps the Brotherhood existed after all! Perhaps the girl was
part of it! No doubt the idea was absurd, but it had sprung into his mind in
the very instant of feeling the scrap of paper in his hand. It was not till a
couple of minutes later that the other, more probable explanation had occurred
to him. And even now, though his intellect told him that the message probably
meant death -- still, that was not what he believed, and the unreasonable hope
persisted, and his heart banged, and it was with difficulty that he kept his
voice from trembling as he murmured his figures into the speakwrite.
He rolled up
the completed bundle of work and slid it into the pneumatic tube. Eight minutes
had gone by. He re- adjusted his spectacles on his nose, sighed, and drew the
next batch of work towards him, with the scrap of paper on top of it. He
flattened it out. On it was written, in a large unformed handwriting:
I love you.
For several
seconds he was too stunned even to throw the incriminating thing into the
memory hole. When he did so, although he knew very well the danger of showing
too much interest, he could not resist reading it once again, just to make sure
that the words were really there.
For the rest
of the morning it was very difficult to work. What was even worse than having
to focus his mind on a series of niggling jobs was the need to conceal his
agitation from the telescreen. He felt as though a fire were burning in his
belly. Lunch in the hot, crowded, noise- filled canteen was torment. He had
hoped to be alone for a little while during the lunch hour, but as bad luck
would have it the imbecile Parsons flopped down beside him, the tang of his
sweat almost defeating the tinny smell of stew, and kept up a stream of talk
about the preparations for Hate Week. He was particularly enthusiastic about a
papier- ma^che/ model of Big Brother's head, two metres wide, which was being
made for the occasion by his daughter's troop of Spies. The irritating thing
was that in the racket of voices Winston could hardly hear what Parsons was
saying, and was constantly having to ask for some fatuous remark to be
repeated. Just once he caught a glimpse of the girl, at a table with two other
girls at the far end of the room. She appeared not to have seen him, and he did
not look in that direction again.
The afternoon
was more bearable. Immediately after lunch there arrived a delicate, difficult
piece of work which would take several hours and necessitated putting
everything else aside. It consisted in falsifying a series of production
reports of two years ago, in such a way as to cast discredit on a prominent
member of the Inner Party, who was now under a cloud. This was the kind of
thing that Winston was good at, and for more than two hours he succeeded in
shutting the girl out of his mind altogether. Then the memory of her face came
back, and with it a raging, intolerable desire to be alone. Until he could be
alone it was impossible to think this new development out. Tonight was one of
his nights at the Community Centre. He wolfed another tasteless meal in the
canteen, hurried off to the Centre, took part in the solemn foolery of a
'discussion group', played two games of table tennis, swallowed several glasses
of gin, and sat for half an hour through a lecture entitled 'Ingsoc in relation
to chess'. His soul writhed with boredom, but for once he had had no impulse to
shirk his evening at the Centre. At the sight of the words I love
you the
desire to stay alive had welled up in him, and the taking of minor risks
suddenly seemed stupid. It was not till twenty-three hours, when he was home
and in bed -- in the darkness, where you were safe even from the telescreen so
long as you kept silent -- that he was able to think continuously.
It was a
physical problem that had to be solved: how to get in touch with the girl and
arrange a meeting. He did not consider any longer the possibility that she
might be laying some kind of trap for him. He knew that it was not so, because
of her unmistakable agitation when she handed him the note. Obviously she had
been frightened out of her wits, as well she might be. Nor did the idea of
refusing her advances even cross his mind. Only five nights ago he had
contemplated smashing her skull in with a cobblestone, but that was of no
importance. He thought of her naked, youthful body, as he had seen it in his
dream. He had imagined her a fool like all the rest of them, her head stuffed
with lies and hatred, her belly full of ice. A kind of fever seized him at the
thought that he might lose her, the white youthful body might slip away from
him! What he feared more than anything else was that she would simply change
her mind if he did not get in touch with her quickly. But the physical
difficulty of meeting was enormous. It was like trying to make a move at chess
when you were already mated. Whichever way you turned, the telescreen faced
you. Actually, all the possible ways of communicating with her had occurred to
him within five minutes of reading the note; but now, with time to think, he
went over them one by one, as though laying out a row of instruments on a
table.
Obviously the
kind of encounter that had happened this morning could not be repeated. If she
had worked in the Records Department it might have been comparatively simple,
but he had only a very dim idea whereabouts in the building the Fiction Department
lay, and he had no pretext for going there. If he had known where she lived,
and at what time she left work, he could have contrived to meet her somewhere
on her way home; but to try to follow her home was not safe, because it would
mean loitering about outside the Ministry, which was bound to be noticed. As
for sending a letter through the mails, it was out of the question. By a
routine that was not even secret, all letters were opened in transit. Actually,
few people ever wrote letters. For the messages that it was occasionally
necessary to send, there were printed postcards with long lists of phrases, and
you struck out the ones that were inapplicable. In any case he did not know the
girl's name, let alone her address. Finally he decided that the safest place
was the canteen. If he could get her at a table by herself, somewhere in the
middle of the room, not too near the telescreens, and with a sufficient buzz of
conversation all round -- if these conditions endured for, say, thirty seconds,
it might be possible to exchange a few words.
For a week
after this, life was like a restless dream. On the next day she did not appear
in the canteen until he was leaving it, the whistle having already blown.
Presumably she had been changed on to a later shift. They passed each other
without a glance. On the day after that she was in the canteen at the usual
time, but with three other girls and immediately under a telescreen. Then for
three dreadful days she did not appear at all. His whole mind and body seemed
to be afflicted with an unbearable sensitivity, a sort of transparency, which
made every movement, every sound, every contact, every word that he had to
speak or listen to, an agony. Even in sleep he could not altogether escape from
her image. He did not touch the diary during those days. If there was any
relief, it was in his work, in which he could sometimes forget himself for ten
minutes at a stretch. He had absolutely no clue as to what had happened to her.
There was no enquiry he could make. She might have been vaporized, she might
have committed suicide, she might have been transferred to the other end of
Oceania: worst and likeliest of all, she might simply have changed her mind and
decided to avoid him.
The next day
she reappeared. Her arm was out of the sling and she had a band of
sticking-plaster round her wrist. The relief of seeing her was so great that he
could not resist staring directly at her for several seconds. On the following
day he very nearly succeeded in speaking to her. When he came into the canteen
she was sitting at a table well out from the wall, and was quite alone. It was
early, and the place was not very full. The queue edged forward till Winston
was almost at the counter, then was held up for two minutes because someone in front
was complaining that he had not received his tablet of saccharine. But the girl
was still alone when Winston secured his tray and began to make for her table.
He walked casually towards her, his eyes searching for a place at some table
beyond her. She was perhaps three metres away from him. Another two seconds
would do it. Then a voice behind him called, 'Smith!' He pretended not to hear.
'Smith !' repeated the voice, more loudly. It was no use. He turned round. A
blond-headed, silly-faced young man named Wilsher, whom he barely knew, was
inviting him with a smile to a vacant place at his table. It was not safe to
refuse. After having been recognized, he could not go and sit at a table with
an unattended girl. It was too noticeable. He sat down with a friendly smile.
The silly blond face beamed into his. Winston had a hallucination of himself
smashing a pick-axe right into the middle of it. The girl's table filled up a
few minutes later.
But she must
have seen him coming towards her, and perhaps she would take the hint. Next day
he took care to arrive early. Surely enough, she was at a table in about the
same place, and again alone. The person immediately ahead of him in the queue
was a small, swiftly-moving, beetle-like man with a flat face and tiny, suspicious
eyes. As Winston turned away from the counter with his tray, he saw that the
little man was making straight for the girl's table. His hopes sank again.
There was a vacant place at a table further away, but something in the little
man's appearance suggested that he would be sufficiently attentive to his own
comfort to choose the emptiest table. With ice at his heart Winston followed.
It was no use unless he could get the girl alone. At this moment there was a
tremendous crash. The little man was sprawling on all fours, his tray had gone
flying, two streams of soup and coffee were flowing across the floor. He
started to his feet with a malignant glance at Winston, whom he evidently
suspected of having tripped him up. But it was all right. Five seconds later,
with a thundering heart, Winston was sitting at the girl's table.
He did not
look at her. He unpacked his tray and promptly began eating. It was
all-important to speak at once, before anyone else came, but now a terrible
fear had taken possession of him. A week had gone by since she had first
approached him. She would have changed her mind, she must have changed her
mind! It was impossible that this affair should end successfully; such things
did not happen in real life. He might have flinched altogether from speaking if
at this moment he had not seen Ampleforth, the hairy-eared poet, wandering
limply round the room with a tray, looking for a place to sit down. In his
vague way Ampleforth was attached to Winston, and would certainly sit down at
his table if he caught sight of him. There was perhaps a minute in which to
act. Both Winston and the girl were eating steadily. The stuff they were eating
was a thin stew, actually a soup, of haricot beans. In a low murmur Winston
began speaking. Neither of them looked up; steadily they spooned the watery
stuff into their mouths, and between spoonfuls exchanged the few necessary
words in low expressionless voices.
'What time do
you leave work?'
'Eighteen-thirty.'
'Where can we
meet?'
'Victory
Square, near the monument.
'It's full of
telescreens.'
'It doesn't
matter if there's a crowd.'
'Any signal?'
'No. Don't
come up to me until you see me among a lot of people. And don't look at me.
Just keep somewhere near me.'
'What time?'
'Nineteen
hours.'
'All right.'
Ampleforth
failed to see Winston and sat down at another table. They did not speak again,
and, so far as it was possible for two people sitting on opposite sides of the
same table, they did not look at one another. The girl finished her lunch quickly
and made off, while Winston stayed to smoke a cigarette.
Winston was
in Victory Square before the appointed time. He wandered round the base of the
enormous fluted column, at the top of which Big Brother's statue gazed
southward towards the skies where he had vanquished the Eurasian aeroplanes
(the Eastasian aeroplanes, it had been, a few years ago) in the Battle of
Airstrip One. In the street in front of it there was a statue of a man on
horseback which was supposed to represent Oliver Cromwell. At five minutes past
the hour the girl had still not appeared. Again the terrible fear seized upon
Winston. She was not coming, she had changed her mind! He walked slowly up to
the north side of the square and got a sort of pale-coloured pleasure from
identifying St Martin's Church, whose bells, when it had bells, had chimed 'You
owe me three farthings.' Then he saw the girl standing at the base of the
monument, reading or pretending to read a poster which ran spirally up the
column. It was not safe to go near her until some more people had accumulated.
There were telescreens all round the pediment. But at this moment there was a
din of shouting and a zoom of heavy vehicles from somewhere to the left.
Suddenly everyone seemed to be running across the square. The girl nipped
nimbly round the lions at the base of the monument and joined in the rush.
Winston followed. As he ran,
he gathered
from some shouted remarks that a convoy of Eurasian prisoners was passing.
Already a
dense mass of people was blocking the south side of the square. Winston, at
normal times the kind of person who gravitates to the outer edge of any kind of
scrimmage, shoved, butted, squirmed his way forward into the heart of the
crowd. Soon he was within arm's length of the girl, but the way was blocked by
an enormous prole and an almost equally enormous woman, presumably his wife,
who seemed to form an impenetrable wall of flesh. Winston wriggled himself
sideways, and with a violent lunge managed to drive his shoulder between them.
For a moment it felt as though his entrails were being ground to pulp between
the two muscular hips, then he had broken through, sweating a little. He was
next to the girl. They were shoulder to shoulder, both staring fixedly in front
of them.
A long line
of trucks, with wooden-faced guards armed with sub-machine guns standing
upright in each corner, was passing slowly down the street. In the trucks
little yellow men in shabby greenish uniforms were squatting, jammed close
together. Their sad, Mongolian faces gazed out over the sides of the trucks
utterly incurious. Occasionally when a truck jolted there was a clankclank of
metal: all the prisoners were wearing leg-irons. Truckload after truck-load of
the sad faces passed. Winston knew they were there but he saw them only
intermittently. The girl's shoulder, and her arm right down to the elbow, were
pressed against his. Her cheek was almost near enough for him to feel its
warmth. She had immediately taken charge of the situation, just as she had done
in the canteen. She began speaking in the same expressionless voice as before,
with lips barely moving, a mere murmur easily drowned by the din of voices and
the rumbling of the trucks.
'Can you hear
me?'
'Yes.'
'Can you get
Sunday afternoon off?'
'Yes.'
'Then listen
carefully. You'll have to remember this. Go to Paddington Station-'
With a sort
of military precision that astonished him, she outlined the route that he was
to follow. A half-hour railway journey; turn left outside the station; two
kilometres along the road: a gate with the top bar missing; a path across a
field; a grass-grown lane; a track between bushes; a dead tree with moss on it.
It was as though she had a map inside her head. 'Can you remember all that?'
she murmured finally.
'Yes.'
'You turn
left, then right, then left again. And the gate's got no top bar.'
'Yes. What
time?'
'About
fifteen. You may have to wait. I'll get there by another way. Are you sure you
remember everything?'
'Yes.'
'Then get
away from me as quick as you can.'
She need not
have told him that. But for the moment they could not extricate themselves from
the crowd. The trucks were still filing post, the people still insatiably
gaping. At the start there had been a few boos and hisses, but it came only
from the Party members among the crowd, and had soon stopped. The prevailing
emotion was simply curiosity. Foreigners, whether from Eurasia or from
Eastasia, were a kind of strange animal. One literally never saw them except in
the guise of prisoners, and even as prisoners one never got more than a
momentary glimpse of them. Nor did one know what became of them, apart from the
few who were hanged as war-criminals: the others simply vanished, presumably
into forced-labour camps. The round Mogol faces had given way to faces of a
more European type, dirty, bearded and exhausted. From over scrubby cheekbones
eyes looked into Winston's, sometimes with strange intensity, and flashed away
again. The convoy was drawing to an end. In the last truck he could see an aged
man, his face a mass of grizzled hair, standing upright with wrists crossed in
front of him, as though he were used to having them bound together. It was
almost time for Winston and the girl to part. But at the last moment, while the
crowd still hemmed them in, her hand felt for his and gave it a fleeting
squeeze.
It could not
have been ten seconds, and yet it seemed a long time that their hands were
clasped together. He had time to learn every detail of her hand. He explored
the long fingers, the shapely nails, the work-hardened palm with its row of
callouses, the smooth flesh under the wrist. Merely from feeling it he would
have known it by sight. In the same instant it occurred to him that he did not
know what colour the girl's eyes were. They were probably brown, but people with
dark hair sometimes had blue eyes. To turn his head and look at her would have
been inconceivable folly. With hands locked together, invisible among the press
of bodies, they stared steadily in front of them, and instead of the eyes of
the girl, the eyes of the aged prisoner gazed mournfully at Winston out of
nests of hair.
x x x
Winston
picked his way up the lane through dappled light and shade, stepping out into
pools of gold wherever the boughs parted. Under the trees to the left of him
the ground was misty with bluebells. The air seemed to kiss one's skin. It was
the second of May. From somewhere deeper in the heart of the wood came the
droning of ring doves.
He was a bit
early. There had been no difficulties about the journey, and the girl was so
evidently experienced that he was less frightened than he would normally have
been. Presumably she could be trusted to find a safe place. In general you
could not assume that you were much safer in the country than in London. There
were no telescreens, of course, but there was always the danger of concealed
microphones by which your voice might be picked up and recognized; besides, it
was not easy to make a journey by yourself without attracting attention. For
distances of less than 100 kilometres it was not necessary to get your passport
endorsed, but sometimes there were patrols hanging about the railway stations,
who examined the papers of any Party member they found there and asked awkward
questions. However, no patrols had appeared, and on the walk from the station
he had made sure by cautious backward glances that he was not being followed.
The train was full of proles, in holiday mood because of the summery weather.
The wooden- seated carriage in which he travelled was filled to overflowing by
a single enormous family. ranging from a toothless great-grandmother to a
month-old baby, going out to spend an afternoon with 'in-laws' in the country,
and, as they freely explained to Winston, to get hold of a little blackmarket
butter.
The lane
widened, and in a minute he came to the footpath she had told him of, a mere
cattle-track which plunged between the bushes. He had no watch, but it could
not be fifteen yet. The bluebells were so thick underfoot that it was
impossible not to tread on them. He knelt down and began picking some partly to
pass the time away, but also from a vague idea that he would like to have a
bunch of flowers to offer to the girl when they met. He had got together a big
bunch and was smelling their faint sickly scent when a sound at his back froze
him, the unmistakable crackle of a foot on twigs. He went on picking bluebells.
It was the best thing to do. It might be the girl, or he might have been
followed after all. To look round was to show guilt. He picked another and
another. A hand fell lightly on his shoulder.
He looked up.
It was the girl. She shook her head, evidently as a warning that he must keep
silent, then parted the bushes and quickly led the way along the narrow track
into the wood. Obviously she had been that way before, for she dodged the boggy
bits as though by habit. Winston followed, still clasping his bunch of flowers.
His first feeling was relief, but as he watched the strong slender body moving
in front of him, with the scarlet sash that was just tight enough to bring out
the curve of her hips, the sense of his own inferiority was heavy upon him.
Even now it seemed quite likely that when she turned round and looked at him
she would draw back after all. The sweetness of the air and the greenness of
the leaves daunted him. Already on the walk from the station the May sunshine
had made him feel dirty and etiolated, a creature of indoors, with the sooty
dust of London in the pores of his skin. It occurred to him that till now she
had probably never seen him in broad daylight in the open. They came to the
fallen tree that she had spoken of. The girl hopped over and forced apart the
bushes, in which there did not seem to be an opening. When Winston followed
her, he found that they were in a natural clearing, a tiny grassy knoll
surrounded by tall saplings that shut it in completely. The girl stopped and
turned.
'Here we
are,' she said.
He was facing
her at several paces' distance. As yet he did not dare move nearer to her.
'I didn't
want to say anything in the lane,' she went on, 'in case there's a mike hidden
there. I don't suppose there is, but there could be. There's always the chance
of one of those swine recognizing your voice. We're all right here.'
He still had
not the courage to approach her. 'We're all right here?' he repeated stupidly.
'Yes. Look at
the trees.' They were small ashes, which at some time had been cut down and had
sprouted up again into a forest of poles, none of them thicker than one's
wrist. 'There's nothing big enough to hide a mike in. Besides, I've been here
before.'
They were
only making conversation. He had managed to move closer to her now. She stood
before him very upright, with a smile on her face that looked faintly ironical,
as though she were wondering why he was so slow to act. The bluebells had
cascaded on to the ground. They seemed to have fallen of their own accord. He
took her hand.
'Would you
believe,' he said, 'that till this moment I didn't know what colour your eyes
were?' They were brown, he noted, a rather light shade of brown, with dark
lashes. 'Now that you've seen what I'm really like, can you still bear to look
at me?'
'Yes,
easily.'
'I'm
thirty-nine years old. I've got a wife that I can't get rid of. I've got
varicose veins. I've got five false teeth.'
'I couldn't
care less,' said the girl.
The next
moment, it was hard to say by whose act, she was in his his arms. At the
beginning he had no feeling except sheer incredulity. The youthful body was
strained against his own, the mass of dark hair was against his face, and yes !
actually she had turned her face up and he was kissing the wide red mouth. She
had clasped her arms about his neck, she was calling him darling, precious one,
loved one. He had pulled her down on to the ground, she was utterly
unresisting, he could do what he liked with her. But the truth was that he had
no physical sensation, except that of mere contact. All he felt was incredulity
and pride. He was glad that this was happening, but he had no physical desire.
It was too soon, her youth and prettiness had frightened him, he was too much
used to living without women -- he did not know the reason. The girl picked
herself up and pulled a bluebell out of her hair. She sat against him, putting
her arm round his waist.
'Never mind,
dear. There's no hurry. We've got the whole afternoon. Isn't this a splendid
hide-out? I found it when I got lost once on a community hike. If anyone was
coming you could hear them a hundred metres away.'
'What is your
name?' said Winston.
'Julia. I
know yours. It's Winston -- Winston Smith.'
'How did you
find that out?'
'I expect I'm
better at finding things out than you are, dear. Tell me, what did you think of
me before that day I gave you the note?'
He did not
feel any temptation to tell lies to her. It was even a sort of love-offering to
start off by telling the worst.
'I hated the
sight of you,' he said. 'I wanted to rape you and then murder you afterwards.
Two weeks ago I thought seriously of smashing your head in with a cobblestone.
If you really want to know, I imagined that you had something to do with the
Thought Police.'
The girl
laughed delightedly, evidently taking this as a tribute to the excellence of
her disguise.
'Not the
Thought Police! You didn't honestly think that?'
'Well,
perhaps not exactly that. But from your general appearance -- merely because
you're young and fresh and healthy, you understand -- I thought that probably-'
'You thought
I was a good Party member. Pure in word and deed. Banners, processions,
slogans, games, community hikes all that stuff. And you thought that if I had a
quarter of a chance I'd denounce you as a thought-criminal and get you killed
off?'
'Yes,
something of that kind. A great many young girls are like that, you know.'
'It's this
bloody thing that does it,' she said, ripping off the scarlet sash of the
Junior Anti-Sex League and flinging it on to a bough. Then, as though touching
her waist had reminded her of something, she felt in the pocket of her overalls
and produced a small slab of chocolate. She broke it in half and gave one of
the pieces to Winston. Even before he had taken it he knew by the smell that it
was very unusual chocolate. It was dark and shiny, and was wrapped in silver
paper. Chocolate normally was dull brown crumbly stuff that tasted, as nearly
as one could describe it, like the smoke of a rubbish fire. But at some time or
another he had tasted chocolate like the piece she had given him. The first
whiff of its scent had stirred up some memory which he could not pin down, but
which was powerful and troubling.
'Where did
you get this stuff?' he said.
'Black
market,' she said indifferently. 'Actually I am that sort of girl, to look at.
I'm good at games. I was a troop-leader in the Spies. I do voluntary work three
evenings a week for the Junior Anti-Sex League. Hours and hours I've spent
pasting their bloody rot all over London. I always carry one end of a banner in
the processions. I always look cheerful and I never shirk anything. Always yell
with the crowd, that's what I say. It's the only way to be safe.'
The first
fragment of chocolate had melted on Winston's tongue. The taste was delightful.
But there was still that memory moving round the edges of his consciousness,
something strongly felt but not reducible to definite shape, like an object
seen out of the corner of one's eye. He pushed it away from him, aware only
that it was the memory of some action which he would have liked to undo but
could not.
'You are very
young,' he said. 'You are ten or fifteen years younger than I am. What could
you see to attract you in a man like me?'
'It was
something in your face. I thought I'd take a chance. I'm good at spotting
people who don't belong. As soon as I saw you I knew you were against them.'
Them, it
appeared, meant the Party, and above all the Inner Party, about whom she talked
with an open jeering hatred which made Winston feel uneasy, although he knew
that they were safe here if they could be safe anywhere. A thing that
astonished him about her was the coarseness of her language. Party members were
supposed not to swear, and Winston himself very seldom did swear, aloud, at any
rate. Julia, however, seemed unable to mention the Party, and especially the
Inner Party, without using the kind of words that you saw chalked up in
dripping alley-ways. He did not dislike it. It was merely one symptom of her
revolt against the Party and all its ways, and somehow it seemed natural and
healthy, like the sneeze of a horse that smells bad hay. They had left the
clearing and were wandering again through the chequered shade, with their arms
round each other's waists whenever it was wide enough to walk two abreast. He
noticed how much softer her waist seemed to feel now that the sash was gone.
They did not speak above a whisper. Outside the clearing, Julia said, it was better
to go quietly. Presently they had reached the edge of the little wood. She
stopped him.
'Don't go out
into the open. There might be someone watching. We're all right if we keep
behind the boughs.'
They were
standing in the shade of hazel bushes. The sunlight, filtering through
innumerable leaves, was still hot on their faces. Winston looked out into the
field beyond, and underwent a curious, slow shock of recognition. He knew it by
sight. An old, closebitten pasture, with a footpath wandering across it and a
molehill here and there. In the ragged hedge on the opposite side the boughs of
the elm trees swayed just perceptibly in the breeze, and their leaves stirred
faintly in dense masses like women's hair. Surely somewhere nearby, but out of
sight, there must be a stream with green pools where dace were swimming?
'Isn't there
a stream somewhere near here?' he whispered.
'That's
right, there is a stream. It's at the edge of the next field, actually. There
are fish in it, great big ones. You can watch them lying in the pools under the
willow trees, waving their tails.'
'It's the
Golden Country -- almost,' he murmured.
'The Golden
Country?'
'It's
nothing, really. A landscape I've seen sometimes in a dream.'
'Look!'
whispered Julia.
A thrush had
alighted on a bough not five metres away, almost at the level of their faces.
Perhaps it had not seen them. It was in the sun, they in the shade. It spread
out its wings, fitted them carefully into place again, ducked its head for a
moment, as though making a sort of obeisance to the sun, and then began to pour
forth a torrent of song. In the afternoon hush the volume of sound was
startling. Winston and Julia clung together, fascinated. The music went on and
on, minute after minute, with astonishing variations, never once repeating
itself, almost as though the bird were deliberately showing off its virtuosity.
Sometimes it stopped for a few seconds, spread out and resettled its wings,
then swelled its speckled breast and again burst into song. Winston watched it
with a sort of vague reverence. For whom, for what, was that bird singing? No
mate, no rival was watching it. What made it sit at the edge of the lonely wood
and pour its music into nothingness? He wondered whether after all there was a
microphone hidden somewhere near. He and Julia had spoken only in low whispers,
and it would not pick up what they had said, but it would pick up the thrush.
Perhaps at the other end of the instrument some small, beetle-like man was
listening intently -- listening to that. But by degrees the flood of music
drove all speculations out of his mind. It was as though it were a kind of
liquid stuff that poured all over him and got mixed up with the sunlight that
filtered through the leaves. He stopped thinking and merely felt. The girl's
waist in the bend of his arm was soft and warm. He pulled her round so that
they were breast to breast; her body seemed to melt into his. Wherever his
hands moved it was all as yielding as water. Their mouths clung together; it
was quite different from the hard kisses they had exchanged earlier. When they
moved their faces apart again both of them sighed deeply. The bird took fright
and fled with a clatter of wings.
Winston put
his lips against her ear. 'Now,' he whispered.
'Not here,'
she whispered back. 'Come back to the hide- out. It's safer.'
Quickly, with
an occasional crackle of twigs, they threaded their way back to the clearing.
When they were once inside the ring of saplings she turned and faced him. They
were both breathing fast. but the smile had reappeared round the corners of her
mouth. She stood looking at him for an instant, then felt at the zipper of her
overalls. And, yes! it was almost as in his dream. Almost as swiftly as he had
imagined it, she had torn her clothes off, and when she flung them aside it was
with that same magnificent gesture by which a whole civilization seemed to be
annihilated. Her body gleamed white in the sun. But for a moment he did not
look at her body; his eyes were anchored by the freckled face with its faint,
bold smile. He knelt down before her and took her hands in his
'Have you
done this before?'
'Of course.
Hundreds of times -- well scores of times anyway
'With Party
members.'
'Yes, always
with Party members.'
'With members
of the Inner Party?'
'Not with
those swine, no. But there's plenty that would if they got half a chance.
They're not so holy as they make out.'
His heart
leapt. Scores of times she had done it: he wished it had been hundreds --
thousands. Anything that hinted at corruption always filled him with a wild
hope. Who knew, perhaps the Party was rotten under the surface, its cult of
strenuousness and selfdenial simply a sham concealing iniquity. If he could
have infected the whole lot of them with leprosy or syphilis, how gladly he would
have done so! Anything to rot, to weaken, to undermine! He pulled her down so
that they were kneeling face to face.
'Listen. The
more men you've had, the more I love you. Do you understand that?'
'Yes,
perfectly.'
'I hate
purity, I hate goodness! I don't want any virtue to exist anywhere. I want
everyone to be corrupt to the bones.
'Well then, I
ought to suit you, dear. I'm corrupt to the bones.'
'You like
doing this? I don't mean simply me: I mean the thing in itself?'
'I adore it.'
That was above
all what he wanted to hear. Not merely the love of one person but the animal
instinct, the simple undifferentiated desire: that was the force that would
tear the Party to pieces. He pressed her down upon the grass, among the fallen
bluebells. This time there was no difficulty. Presently the rising and falling
of their breasts slowed to normal speed, and in a sort of pleasant helplessness
they fell apart. The sun seemed to have grown hotter. They were both sleepy. He
reached out for the discarded overalls and pulled them partly over her. Almost
immediately they fell asleep and slept for about half an hour.
Winston woke
first. He sat up and watched the freckled face, still peacefully asleep,
pillowed on the palm of her hand. Except for her mouth, you could not call her
beautiful. There was a line or two round the eyes, if you looked closely. The
short dark hair was extraordinarily thick and soft. It occurred to him that he
still did not know her surname or where she lived.
The young,
strong body, now helpless in sleep, awoke in him a pitying, protecting feeling.
But the mindless tenderness that he had felt under the hazel tree, while the
thrush was singing, had not quite come back. He pulled the overalls aside and
studied her smooth white flank. In the old days, he thought, a man looked at a
girl's body and saw that it was desirable, and that was the end of the story.
But you could not have pure love or pure lust nowadays. No emotion was pure,
because everything was mixed up with fear and hatred. Their embrace had been a
battle, the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the Party. It was a
political act.
x x x
'We can come
here once again,' said Julia. 'It's generally safe to use any hide-out twice.
But not for another month or two, of course.'
As soon as
she woke up her demeanour had changed. She became alert and business-like, put
her clothes on, knotted the scarlet sash about her waist, and began arranging
the details of the journey home. It seemed natural to leave this to her. She
obviously had a practical cunning which Winston lacked, and she seemed also to
have an exhaustive knowledge of the countryside round London, stored away from
innumerable community hikes. The route she gave him was quite different from
the one by which he had come, and brought him out at a different railway
station. 'Never go home the same way as you went out,' she said, as though
enunciating an important general principle. She would leave first, and Winston
was to wait half an hour before following her.
She had named
a place where they could meet after work, four evenings hence. It was a street
in one of the poorer quarters, where there was an open market which was
generally crowded and noisy. She would be hanging about among the stalls,
pretending to be in search of shoelaces or sewing- thread. If she judged that
the coast was clear she would blow her nose when he approached; otherwise he
was to walk past her without recognition. But with luck, in the middle of the
crowd, it would be safe to talk for a quarter of an hour and arrange another
meeting.
'And now I
must go,' she said as soon as he had mastered his instructions. 'I'm due back
at nineteen-thirty. I've got to put in two hours for the Junior Anti-Sex
League, handing out leaflets, or something. Isn't it bloody? Give me a
brush-down, would you? Have I got any twigs in my hair? Are you sure? Then
good-bye, my love, good-bye!'
She flung
herself into his arms, kissed him almost violently, and a moment later pushed
her way through the saplings and disappeared into the wood with very little
noise. Even now he had not found out her surname or her address. However, it
made no difference, for it was inconceivable that they could ever meet indoors
or exchange any kind of written communication.
As it
happened, they never went back to the clearing in the wood. During the month of
May there was only one further occasion on which they actually succeeded in
making love. That was in another hiding-place known to Julia, the belfry of a
ruinous church in an almost-deserted stretch of country where an atomic bomb
had fallen thirty years earlier. It was a good hiding-place when once you got
there, but the getting there was very dangerous. For the rest they could meet
only in the streets, in a different place every evening and never for more than
half an hour at a time. In the street it was usually possible to talk, after a
fashion. As they drifted down the crowded pavements, not quite abreast and
never looking at one another, they carried on a curious, intermittent
conversation which flicked on and off like the beams of a lighthouse, suddenly
nipped into silence by the approach of a Party uniform or the proximity of a
telescreen, then taken up again minutes later in the middle of a sentence, then
abruptly cut short as they parted at the agreed spot, then continued almost
without introduction on the following day. Julia appeared to be quite used to
this kind of conversation, which she called 'talking by installments'. She was
also surprisingly adept at speaking without moving her lips. Just once in
almost a month of nightly meetings they managed to exchange a kiss. They were
passing in silence down a side-street (Julia would never speak when they were
away from the main streets) when there was a deafening roar, the earth heaved,
and the air darkened, and Winston found himself lying on his side, bruised and
terrified. A rocket bomb must have dropped quite near at hand. Suddenly he
became aware of Julia's face a few centimetres from his own, deathly white, as
white as chalk. Even her lips were white. She was dead! He clasped her against
him and found that he was kissing a live warm face. But there was some powdery
stuff that got in the way of his lips. Both of their faces were thickly coated
with plaster.
There were
evenings when they reached their rendezvous and then had to walk past one
another without a sign, because a patrol had just come round the corner or a
helicopter was hovering overhead. Even if it had been less dangerous, it would
still have been difficult to find time to meet. Winston's working week was
sixty hours, Julia's was even longer, and their free days varied according to
the pressure of work and did not often coincide. Julia, in any case, seldom had
an evening completely free. She spent an astonishing amount of time in attending
lectures and demonstrations, distributing literature for the junior Anti-Sex
League, preparing banners for Hate Week, making collections for the savings
campaign, and such-like activities. It paid, she said, it was camouflage. If
you kept the small rules, you could break the big ones. She even induced
Winston to mortgage yet another of his evenings by enrolling himself for the
part-time munition work which was done voluntarily by zealous Party members.
So, one evening every week, Winston spent four hours of paralysing boredom,
screwing together small bits of metal which were probably parts of bomb fuses,
in a draughty, ill-lit workshop where the knocking of hammers mingled drearily
with the music of the telescreens.
When they met
in the church tower the gaps in their fragmentary conversation were filled up.
It was a blazing afternoon. The air in the little square chamber above the
bells was hot and stagnant, and smelt overpoweringly of pigeon dung. They sat
talking for hours on the dusty, twig- littered floor, one or other of them
getting up from time to time to cast a glance through the arrowslits and make
sure that no one was coming.
Julia was
twenty-six years old. She lived in a hostel with thirty other girls ('Always in
the stink of women! How I hate women!' she said parenthetically), and she
worked, as he had guessed, on the novel-writing machines in the Fiction
Department. She enjoyed her work, which consisted chiefly in running and
servicing a powerful but tricky electric motor. She was 'not clever', but was
fond of using her hands and felt at home with machinery. She could describe the
whole process of composing a novel, from the general directive issued by the
Planning Committee down to the final touching-up by the Rewrite Squad. But she
was not interested in the finished product. She 'didn't much care for reading,'
she said. Books were just a commodity that had to be produced, like jam or
bootlaces.
She had no
memories of anything before the early sixties and the only person she had ever
known who talked frequently of the days before the Revolution was a grandfather
who had disappeared when she was eight. At school she had been captain of the
hockey team and had won the gymnastics trophy two years running. She had been a
troop-leader in the Spies and a branch secretary in the Youth League before
joining the JuniorAnti-Sex League. She had always borne an excellent character.
She had even (an infallibIe mark of good reputation) been picked out to work in
Pornosec, the sub- section of the Fiction Department which turned out cheap
pornography for distribution among the proles. It was nicknamed Muck House by
the people who worked in it, she remarked. There she had remained for a year,
helping to produce booklets in sealed packets with titles like Spanking Stories
or One Night in a Girls' School, to be bought furtively by proletarian youths
who were under the impression that they were buying something illegal.
'What are
these books like?' said Winston curiously.
'Oh, ghastly
rubbish. They're boring, really. They only have six plots, but they swap them
round a bit. Of course I was only on the kaleidoscopes. I was never in the
Rewrite Squad. I'm not literary, dear -- not even enough for that.'
He learned
with astonishment that all the workers in Pornosec, except the heads of the
departments, were girls. The theory was that men, whose sex instincts were less
controllable than those of women, were in greater danger of being corrupted by
the filth they handled.
'They don't
even like having married women there,' she added. Girls are always supposed to
be so pure. Here's one who isn't, anyway.
She had had
her first love-affair when she was sixteen, with a Party member of sixty who
later committed suicide to avoid arrest. 'And a good job too,' said Julia, 'otherwise
they'd have had my name out of him when he confessed.' Since then there had
been various others. Life as she saw it was quite simple. You wanted a good
time; 'they', meaning the Party, wanted to stop you having it; you broke the
rules as best you couId. She seemed to think it just as natural that 'they'
should want to rob you of your pleasures as that you should want to avoid being
caught. She hated the Party, and said so in the crudest words, but she made no
general criticism of it. Except where it touched upon her own life she had no
interest in Party doctrine. He noticed that she never used Newspeak words
except the ones that had passed into everyday use. She had never heard of the
Brotherhood, and refused to believe in its existence. Any kind of organized
revolt against the Party, which was bound to be a failure, struck her as
stupid. The clever thing was to break the rules and stay alive all the same. He
wondered vaguely how many others like her there might be in the younger
generation people who had grown up in the world of the Revolution, knowing
nothing else, accepting the Party as something unalterable, like the sky, not
rebelling against its authority but simply evading it, as a rabbit dodges a
dog.
They did not
discuss the possibility of getting married. It was too remote to be worth
thinking about. No imaginable committee would ever sanction such a marriage
even if Katharine, Winston's wife, could somehow have been got rid of. It was
hopeless even as a daydream.
'What was she
like, your wife?' said Julia.
'She was --
do you know the Newspeak word goodthinkful? Meaning naturally orthodox,
incapable of thinking a bad thought?'
'No, I didn't
know the word, but I know the kind of person, right enough.'
He began
telling her the story of his married life, but curiously enough she appeared to
know the essential parts of it already. She described to him, almost as though
she had seen or felt it, the stiffening of Katharine's body as soon as he
touched her, the way in which she still seemed to be pushing him from her with
all her strength, even when her arms were clasped tightly round him. With Julia
he felt no difficulty in talking about such things: Katharine, in any case, had
long ceased to be a painful memory and became merely a distasteful one.
'I could have
stood it if it hadn't been for one thing,' he said. He told her about the
frigid little ceremony that Katharine had forced him to go through on the same
night every week. 'She hated it, but nothing would make her stop doing it. She
used to call it -- but you'll never guess.'
'Our duty to
the Party,' said Julia promptly.
'How did you
know that?'
'I've been at
school too, dear. Sex talks once a month for the over-sixteens. And in the
Youth Movement. They rub it into you for years. I dare say it works in a lot of
cases. But of course you can never tell; people are such hypocrites.'
She began to
enlarge upon the subject. With Julia, everything came back to her own
sexuality. As soon as this was touched upon in any way she was capable of great
acuteness. Unlike Winston, she had grasped the inner meaning of the Party's
sexual puritanism. It was not merely that the sex instinct created a world of
its own which was outside the Party's control and which therefore had to be
destroyed if possible. What was more important was that sexual privation
induced hysteria, which was desirable because it could be transformed into
war-fever and leader-worship. The way she put it was:
'When you
make love you're using up energy; and afterwards you feel happy and don't give
a damn for anything. They can't bear you to feel like that. They want you to be
bursting with energy all the time. All this marching up and down and cheering
and waving flags is simply sex gone sour. If you're happy inside yourself, why
should you get excited about Big Brother and the Three-Year Plans and the Two
Minutes Hate and all the rest of their bloody rot?'
That was very
true, he thought. There was a direct intimate connexion between chastity and
political orthodoxy. For how could the fear, the hatred, and the lunatic
credulity which the Party needed in its members be kept at the right pitch,
except by bottling down some powerful instinct and using it as a driving force?
The sex impulse was dangerous to the Party, and the Party had turned it to
account. They had played a similar trick with the instinct of parenthood. The
family could not actually be abolished, and, indeed, people were encouraged to
be fond of their children, in almost the old-fashioned way. The children, on
the other hand, were systematically turned against their parents and taught to
spy on them and report their deviations. The family had become in effect an
extension of the Thought Police. It was a device by means of which everyone
could be surrounded night and day by informers who knew him intimately.
Abruptly his
mind went back to Katharine. Katharine would unquestionably have denounced him
to the Thought Police if she had not happened to be too stupid to detect the
unorthodoxy of his opinions. But what really recalled her to him at this moment
was the stifling heat of the afternoon, which had brought the sweat out on his
forehead. He began telling Julia of something that had happened, or rather had
failed to happen, on another sweltering summer afternoon, eleven years ago.
It was three
or four months after they were married. They had lost their way on a community
hike somewhere in Kent. They had only lagged behind the others for a couple of
minutes, but they took a wrong turning, and presently found themselves pulled
up short by the edge of an old chalk quarry. It was a sheer drop of ten or
twenty metres, with boulders at the bottom. There was nobody of whom they could
ask the way. As soon as she realized that they were lost Katharine became very
uneasy. To be away from the noisy mob of hikers even for a moment gave her a
feeling of wrong- doing. She wanted to hurry back by the way they had come and
start searching in the other direction. But at this moment Winston noticed some
tufts of loose strife growing in the cracks of the cliff beneath them. One tuft
was of two colours, magenta and brick-red, apparently growing on the same root.
He had never seen anything of the kind before, and he called to Katharine to
come and look at it.
'Look,
Katharine ! Look at those flowers. That clump down near the bottom. Do you see
they're two different colours?'
She had
already turned to go, but she did rather fretfully come back for a moment. She
even leaned out over the cliff face to see where he was pointing. He was
standing a little behind her, and he put his hand on her waist to steady her.
At this moment it suddenly occurred to him how completely alone they were.
There was not a human creature anywhere, not a leaf stirring, not even a bird
awake. In a place like this the danger that there would be a hidden microphone
was very small, and even if there was a microphone it would only pick up
sounds. It was the hottest sleepiest hour of the afternoon. The sun blazed down
upon them, the sweat tickled his face. And the thought struck him . . .
'Why didn't
you give her a good shove?' said Julia. 'I would have.'
'Yes, dear,
you would have. I would, if I'd been the same person then as I am now. Or
perhaps I would -- I'm not certain.'
'Are you
sorry you didn't?'
'Yes. On the
whole I'm sorry I didn't.'
They were
sitting side by side on the dusty floor. He pulled her closer against him. Her
head rested on his shoulder, the pleasant smell of her hair conquering the
pigeon dung. She was very young, he thought, she still expected something from
life, she did not understand that to push an inconvenient person over a cliff
solves nothing.
'Actually it
would have made no difference,' he said.
'Then why are
you sorry you didn't do it?'
'Only because
I prefer a positive to a negative. In this game that we're playing, we can't
win. Some kinds of failure are better than other kinds, that's all.'
He felt her
shoulders give a wriggle of dissent. She always contradicted him when he said
anything of this kind. She would not accept it as a law of nature that the
individual is always defeated. In a way she realized that she herself was
doomed, that sooner or later the Thought Police would catch her and kill her,
but with another part of her mind she believed that it was somehow possible to
construct a secret world in which you could live as you chose. All you needed
was luck and cunning and boldness. She did not understand that there was no
such thing as happiness, that the only victory lay in the far future, long
after you were dead, that from the moment of declaring war on the Party it was
better to think of yourself as a corpse.
'We are the
dead,' he said.
'We're not
dead yet,' said Julia prosaically.
'Not
physically. Six months, a year -- five years, conceivably. I am afraid of
death. You are young, so presumably you're more afraid of it than I am.
Obviously we shall put it off as long as we can. But it makes very little
difference. So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same
thing.'
'Oh, rubbish!
Which would you sooner sleep with, me or a skeleton? Don't you enjoy being
alive? Don't you like feeling: This is me, this is my hand, this is my leg, I'm
real, I'm solid, I'm alive! Don't you like this?'
She twisted
herself round and pressed her bosom against him. He could feel her breasts,
ripe yet firm, through her overalls. Her body seemed to be pouring some of its
youth and vigour into his.
'Yes, I like
that,' he said.
'Then stop
talking about dying. And now listen, dear, we've got to fix up about the next
time we meet. We may as well go back to the place in the wood. We've given it a
good long rest. But you must get there by a different way this time. I've got
it all planned out. You take the train -- but look, I'll draw it out for you.'
And in her
practical way she scraped together a small square of dust, and with a twig from
a pigeon's nest began drawing a map on the floor.
x x x
Winston
looked round the shabby little room above Mr Charrington's shop. Beside the
window the enormous bed was made up, with ragged blankets and a coverless
bolster. The old-fashioned clock with the twelve-hour face was ticking away on
the mantelpiece. In the corner, on the gateleg table, the glass paperweight
which he had bought on his last visit gleamed softly out of the half-darkness.
In the fender
was a battered tin oilstove, a saucepan, and two cups, provided by Mr
Charrington. Winston lit the burner and set a pan of water to boil. He had
brought an envelope full of Victory Coffee and some saccharine tablets. The
clock's hands said seventeen-twenty: it was nineteen- twenty really. She was
coming at nineteen-thirty.
Folly, folly,
his heart kept saying: conscious, gratuitous, suicidal folly. Of all the crimes
that a Party member could commit, this one was the least possible to conceal.
Actually the idea had first floated into his head in the form of a vision, of
the glass paperweight mirrored by the surface of the gateleg table. As he had
foreseen, Mr Charrington had made no difficulty about letting the room. He was
obviously glad of the few dollars that it would bring him. Nor did he seem
shocked or become offensively knowing when it was made clear that Winston
wanted the room for the purpose of a love-affair. Instead he looked into the
middle distance and spoke in generalities, with so delicate an air as to give
the impression that he had become partly invisible. Privacy, he said, was a
very valuable thing. Everyone wanted a place where they could be alone
occasionally. And when they had such a place, it was only common courtesy in
anyone else who knew of it to keep his knowledge to himself. He even, seeming
almost to fade out of existence as he did so, added that there were two entries
to the house, one of them through the back yard, which gave on an alley.
Under the
window somebody was singing. Winston peeped out, secure in the protection of
the muslin curtain. The June sun was still high in the sky, and in the
sun-filled court below, a monstrous woman, solid as a Norman pillar, with
brawny red forearms and a sacking apron strapped about her middle, was stumping
to and fro between a washtub and a clothes line, pegging out a series of square
white things which Winston recognized as babies' diapers. Whenever her mouth
was not corked with clothes pegs she was singing in a powerful contralto:
It
was only an 'opeless fancy.
It
passed like an Ipril dye,
But
a look an' a word an' the dreams they stirred!
They
'ave stolen my 'eart awye!
The tune had
been haunting London for weeks past. It was one of countless similar songs
published for the benefit of the proles by a sub-section of the Music
Department. The words of these songs were composed without any human
intervention whatever on an instrument known as a versificator. But the woman
sang so tunefully as to turn the dreadful rubbish into an almost pleasant
sound. He could hear the woman singing and the scrape of her shoes on the
flagstones, and the cries of the children in the street, and somewhere in the
far distance a faint roar of traffic, and yet the room seemed curiously silent,
thanks to the absence of a telescreen.
Folly, folly,
folly! he thought again. It was inconceivable that they could frequent this
place for more than a few weeks without being caught. But the temptation of
having a hiding-place that was truly their own, indoors and near at hand, had
been too much for both of them. For some time after their visit to the church
belfry it had been impossible to arrange meetings. Working hours had been
drastically increased in anticipation of Hate Week. It was more than a month
distant, but the enormous, complex preparations that it entailed were throwing
extra work on to everybody. Finally both of them managed to secure a free
afternoon on the same day. They had agreed to go back to the clearing in the
wood. On the evening beforehand they met briefly in the street. As usual,
Winston hardly looked at Julia as they drifted towards one another in the
crowd, but from the short glance he gave her it seemed to him that she was
paler than usual.
'It's all
off,' she murmured as soon as she judged it safe to speak. 'Tomorrow, I mean.'
'What?'
'Tomorrow
afternoon. I can't come.'
'Why not?'
'Oh, the
usual reason. It's started early this time.'
For a moment
he was violently angry. During the month that he had known her the nature of
his desire for her had changed. At the beginning there had been little true
sensuality in it. Their first love-making had been simply an act of the will.
But after the second time it was different. The smell of her hair, he taste of
her mouth, the feeling of her skin seemed to have got inside him, or into the
air all round him. She had become a physical necessity, something that he not
only wanted but felt that he had a right to. When she said that she could not
come, he had the feeling that she was cheating him. But just at this moment the
crowd pressed them together and their hands accidentally met. She gave the tips
of his fingers a quick squeeze that seemed to invite not desire but affection.
It struck him that when one lived with a woman this particular disappointment
must be a normal, recurring event; and a deep tenderness, such as he had not
felt for her before, suddenly took hold of him. He wished that they were a
married couple of ten years' standing. He wished that he were walking through
the streets with her just as they were doing now but openly and without fear,
talking of trivialities and buying odds and ends for the household. He wished
above all that they had some place where they could be alone together without
feeling the obligation to make love every time they met. It was not actually at
that moment, but at some time on the following day, that the idea of renting Mr
Charrington's room had occurred to him. When he suggested it to Julia she had
agreed with unexpected readiness. Both of them knew that it was lunacy. It was
as though they were intentionally stepping nearer to their graves. As he sat
waiting on the edge of the bed he thought again of the cellars of the Ministry
of Love. It was curious how that predestined horror moved in and out of one's
consciousness. There it lay, fixed in future times, preceding death as surely
as 99 precedes 100. One could not avoid it, but one could perhaps postpone it:
and yet instead, every now and again, by a conscious, wilful act, one chose to
shorten the interval before it happened.
At this
moment there was a quick step on the stairs. Julia burst into the room. She was
carrying a tool-bag of coarse brown canvas, such as he had sometimes seen her
carrying to and fro at the Ministry. He started forward to take her in his
arms, but she disengaged herself rather hurriedly, partly because she was still
holding the tool-bag.
'Half a
second,' she said. 'Just let me show you what I've brought. Did you bring some
of that filthy Victory Coffee? I thought you would. You can chuck it away
again, because we shan't be needing it. Look here.'
She fell on
her knees, threw open the bag, and tumbled out some spanners and a screwdriver
that filled the top part of it. Underneath were a number of neat paper packets.
The first packet that she passed to Winston had a strange and yet vaguely
familiar feeling. It was filled with some kind of heavy, sand-like stuff which
yielded wherever you touched it.
'It isn't
sugar?' he said.
'Real sugar.
Not saccharine, sugar. And here's a loaf of bread proper white bread, not our
bloody stuff -- and a little pot of jam. And here's a tin of milk -- but look!
This is the one I'm really proud of. I had to wrap a bit of sacking round it,
because-'
But she did
not need to tell him why she had wrapped it up. The smell was already filling
the room, a rich hot smell which seemed like an emanation from his early
childhood, but which one did occasionally meet with even now, blowing down a
passage-way before a door slammed, or diffusing itself mysteriously in a
crowded street, sniffed for an instant and then lost again.
'It's
coffee,' he murmured, 'real coffee.'
'It's Inner
Party coffee. There's a whole kilo here, she said.
'How did you
manage to get hold of all these things?'
'It's all
Inner Party stuff. There's nothing those swine don't have, nothing. But of
course waiters and servants and people pinch things, and -- look, I got a
little packet of tea as well.'
Winston had
squatted down beside her. He tore open a corner of the packet.
'It's real
tea. Not blackberry leaves.'
'There's been
a lot of tea about lately. They've captured India, or something,' she said
vaguely. 'But listen, dear. I want you to turn your back on me for three
minutes. Go and sit on the other side of the bed. Don't go too near the window.
And don't turn round till I tell you.'
Winston gazed
abstractedly through the muslin curtain. Down in the yard the red-armed woman
was still marching to and fro between the washtub and the line. She took two
more pegs out of her mouth and sang with deep feeling:
They
sye that time 'eals all things,
They
sye you can always forget;
But
the s miles an' the tears
acrorss the years
They
twist my 'eart-strings yet!
She knew the
whole drivelling song by heart, it seemed. Her voice floated upward with the
sweet summer air, very tuneful, charged with a sort of happy melancholy. One
had the feeling that she would have been perfectly content, if the June evening
had been endless and the supply of clothes inexhaustible, to remain there for a
thousand years, pegging out diapers and singing rubbish. It struck him as a
curious fact that he had never heard a member of the Party singing alone and
spontaneously. It would even have seemed slightly unorthodox, a dangerous
eccentricity, like talking to oneself. Perhaps it was only when people were
somewhere near the starvation level that they had anything to sing about.
'You can turn
round now,' said Julia.
He turned
round, and for a second almost failed to recognize her. What he had actually
expected was to see her naked. But she was not naked. The transformation that
had happened was much more surprising than that. She had painted her face.
She must have
slipped into some shop in the proletarian quarters and bought herself a
complete set of make-up materials. Her lips were deeply reddened, her cheeks
rouged, her nose powdered; there was even a touch of something under the eyes
to make them brighter. It was not very skillfully done, but Winston's standards
in such matters were not high. He had never before seen or imagined a woman of
the Party with cosmetics on her face. The improvement in her appearance was
startling. With just a few dabs of colour in the right places she had become
not only very much prettier, but, above all, far more feminine. Her short hair
and boyish overalls merely added to the effect. As he took her in his arms a
wave of synthetic violets flooded his nostrils. He remembered the half-darkness
of a basement kitchen, and a woman's cavernous mouth. It was the very same
scent that she had used; but at the moment it did not seem to matter.
'Scent too!'
he said.
'Yes, dear,
scent too. And do you know what I'm going to do next? I'm going to get hold of
a real woman's frock from somewhere and wear it instead of these bloody
trousers. I'll wear silk stockings and high-heeled shoes! In this room I'm
going to be a woman, not a Party comrade.'
They flung
their clothes off and climbed into the huge mahogany bed. It was the first time
that he had stripped himself naked in her presence. Until now he had been too
much ashamed of his pale and meagre body, with the varicose veins standing out
on his calves and the discoloured patch over his ankle. There were no sheets,
but the blanket they lay on was threadbare and smooth, and the size and
springiness of the bed astonished both of them. 'It's sure to be full of bugs,
but who cares?' said Julia. One never saw a double bed nowadays, except in the
homes of the proles. Winston had occasionally slept in one in his boyhood:
Julia had never been in one before, so far as she could remember.
Presently
they fell asleep for a little while. When Winston woke up the hands of the
clock had crept round to nearly nine. He did not stir, because Julia was
sleeping with her head in the crook of his arm. Most of her make-up had
transferred itself to his own face or the bolster, but a light stain of rouge
still brought out the beauty of her cheekbone. A yellow ray from the sinking
sun fell across the foot of the bed and lighted up the fireplace, where the
water in the pan was boiling fast. Down in the yard the woman had stopped
singing, but the faint shouts of children floated in from the street. He
wondered vaguely whether in the abolished past it had been a normal experience
to lie in bed like this, in the cool of a summer evening, a man and a woman
with no clothes on, making love when they chose, talking of what they chose,
not feeling any compulsion to get up, simply lying there and listening to
peaceful sounds outside. Surely there could never have been a time when that
seemed ordinary? Julia woke up, rubbed her eyes, and raised herself on her
elbow to look at the oilstove.
'Half that
water's boiled away,' she said. 'I'll get up and make some coffee in another
moment. We've got an hour. What time do they cut the lights off at your flats?'
'Twenty-three
thirty.'
'It's
twenty-three at the hostel. But you have to get in earlier than that, because
-- Hi! Get out, you filthy brute!'
She suddenly
twisted herself over in the bed, seized a shoe from the floor, and sent it
hurtling into the corner with a boyish jerk of her arm, exactly as he had seen
her fling the dictionary at Goldstein, that morning during the Two Minutes
Hate.
'What was
it?' he said in surprise.
'A rat. I saw
him stick his beastly nose out of the wainscoting. There's a hole down there. I
gave him a good fright, anyway.'
'Rats!'
murmured Winston. 'In this room!'
'They're all
over the place,' said Julia indifferently as she lay down again. 'We've even
got them in the kitchen at the hostel. Some parts of London are swarming with
them. Did you know they attack children? Yes, they do. In some of these streets
a woman daren't leave a baby alone for two minutes. It's the great huge brown
ones that do it. And the nasty thing is that the brutes always-'
'Don't go
on!' said Winston, with his eyes tightly shut.
'Dearest!
You've gone quite pale. What's the matter? Do they make you feel sick?'
'Of all
horrors in the world -- a rat!'
She pressed
herself against him and wound her limbs round him, as though to reassure him
with the warmth of her body. He did not reopen his eyes immediately. For
several moments he had had the feeling of being back in a nightmare which had
recurred from time to time throughout his life. It was always very much the
same. He was standing in front of a wall of darkness, and on the other side of
it there was something unendurable, something too dreadful to be faced. In the
dream his deepest feeling was always one of self- deception, because he did in
fact know what was behind the wall of darkness. With a deadly effort, like
wrenching a piece out of his own brain, he could even have dragged the thing
into the open. He always woke up without discovering what it was: but somehow
it was connected with what Julia had been saying when he cut her short.
'I'm sorry,'
he said, 'it's nothing. I don't like rats, that's all.'
'Don't worry,
dear, we're not going to have the filthy brutes in here. I'll stuff the hole
with a bit of sacking before we go. And next time we come here I'll bring some
plaster and bung it up properly.'
Already the
black instant of panic was half-forgotten. Feeling slightly ashamed of himself,
he sat up against the bedhead. Julia got out of bed, pulled on her overalls,
and made the coffee. The smell that rose from the saucepan was so powerful and
exciting that they shut the window lest anybody outside should notice it and
become inquisitive. What was even better than the taste of the coffee was the
silky texture given to it by the sugar, a thing Winston had almost forgotten
after years of saccharine. With one hand in her pocket and a piece of bread and
jam in the other, Julia wandered about the room, glancing indifferently at the
bookcase, pointing out the best way of repairing the gateleg table, plumping
herself down in the ragged arm-chair to see if it was comfortable, and
examining the absurd twelve-hour clock with a sort of tolerant amusement. She
brought the glass paperweight over to the bed to have a look at it in a better
light. He took it out of her hand, fascinated, as always, by the soft,
rainwatery appearance of the glass.
'What is it,
do you think?' said Julia.
'I don't
think it's anything-I mean, I don't think it was ever put to any use. That's
what I like about it. It's a little chunk of history that they've forgotten to
alter. It's a message from a hundred years ago, if one knew how to read it.'
'And that
picture over there' -- she nodded at the engraving on the opposite wall-'would
that be a hundred years old?'
'More. Two
hundred, I dare say. One can't tell. It's impossible to discover the age of
anything nowadays.'
She went over
to look at it. 'Here's where that brute stuck his nose out,' she said, kicking
the wainscoting immediately below the picture. 'What is this place? I've seen
it before somewhere.'
'It's a
church, or at least it used to be. St Clement Danes its name was.' The fragment
of rhyme that Mr Charrington had taught him came back into his head, and he
added half-nostalgically: "Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St
Clement's!"
To his
astonishment she capped the line:
'You
owe me three farthings, say the bells of St Martin's,
When
will you pay me? say the bells of Old Bailey -- '
'I can't
remember how it goes on after that. But anyway I remember it ends up,
"Here comes a candle to light you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off
your head!"
It was like
the two halves of a countersign. But there must be another line after 'the
bells of Old Bailey'. Perhaps it could be dug out of Mr Charrington's memory,
if he were suitably prompted.
'Who taught
you that?' he said.
'My grandfather.
He used to say it to me when I was a little girl. He was vaporized when I was
eight -- at any rate, he disappeared. I wonder what a lemon was,' she added
inconsequently. 'I've seen oranges. They're a kind of round yellow fruit with a
thick skin.'
'I can
remember lemons,' said Winston. 'They were quite common in the fifties. They
were so sour that it set your teeth on edge even to smell them.'
'I bet that
picture's got bugs behind it,' said Julia. 'I'll take it down and give it a
good clean some day. I suppose it's almost time we were leaving. I must start
washing this paint off. What a bore! I'll get the lipstick off your face
afterwards.'
Winston did
not get up for a few minutes more. The room was darkening. He turned over
towards the light and lay gazing into the glass paperweight. The inexhaustibly
interesting thing was not the fragment of coral but the interior of the glass
itself. There was such a depth of it, and yet it was almost as transparent as
air. It was as though the surface of the glass had been the arch of the sky,
enclosing a tiny world with its atmosphere complete. He had the feeling that he
could get inside it, and that in fact he was inside it, along with the mahogany
bed and the gateleg table, and the clock and the steel engraving and the
paperweight itself. The paperweight was the room he was in, and the coral was
Julia's life and his own, fixed in a sort of eternity at the heart of the
crystal.
x x x
Syme had
vanished. A morning came, and he was missing from work: a few thoughtless
people commented on his absence. On the next day nobody mentioned him. On the
third day Winston went into the vestibule of the Records Department to look at
the notice-board. One of the notices carried a printed list of the members of
the Chess Committee, of whom Syme had been one. It looked almost exactly as it
had looked before -- nothing had been crossed out -- but it was one name
shorter. It was enough. Syme had ceased to exist: he had never existed.
The weather
was baking hot. In the labyrinthine Ministry the windowless, air-conditioned
rooms kept their normal temperature, but outside the pavements scorched one's
feet and the stench of the Tubes at the rush hours was a horror. The
preparations for Hate Week were in full swing, and the staffs of all the
Ministries were working overtime. Processions, meetings, military parades,
lectures, waxworks, displays, film shows, telescreen programmes all had to be
organized; stands had to be erected, effigies built, slogans coined, songs
written, rumours circulated, photographs faked. Julia's unit in the Fiction
Department had been taken off the production of novels and was rushing out a
series of atrocity pamphlets. Winston, in addition to his regular work, spent
long periods every day in going through back files of The Times and altering
and embellishing news items which were to be quoted in speeches. Late at night,
when crowds of rowdy proles roamed the streets, the town had a curiously
febrile air. The rocket bombs crashed oftener than ever, and sometimes in the
far distance there were enormous explosions which no one could explain and
about which there were wild rumours.
The new tune
which was to be the theme-song of Hate Week (the Hate Song, it was called) had
already been composed and was being endlessly plugged on the telescreens. It
had a savage, barking rhythm which could not exactly be called music, but
resembled the beating of a drum. Roared out by hundreds of voices to the tramp
of marching feet, it was terrifying. The proles had taken a fancy to it, and in
the midnight streets it competed with the still- popular 'It was only a
hopeless fancy'. The Parsons children played it at all hours of the night and
day, unbearably, on a comb and a piece of toilet paper. Winston's evenings were
fuller than ever. Squads of volunteers, organized by Parsons, were preparing
the street for Hate Week, stitching banners, painting posters, erecting
flagstaffs on the roofs, and perilously slinging wires across the street for
the reception of streamers. Parsons boasted that Victory Mansions alone would
display four hundred metres of bunting. He was in his native element and as
happy as a lark. The heat and the manual work had even given him a pretext for
reverting to shorts and an open shirt in the evenings. He was everywhere at
once, pushing, pulling, sawing, hammering, improvising, jollying everyone along
with comradely exhortations and giving out from every fold of his body what
seemed an inexhaustible supply of acrid-smelling sweat.
A new poster
had suddenly appeared all over London. It had no caption, and represented
simply the monstrous figure of a Eurasian soldier, three or four metres high,
striding forward with expressionless Mongolian face and enormous boots, a
submachine gun pointed from his hip. From whatever angle you looked at the
poster, the muzzle of the gun, magnified by the foreshortening, seemed to be
pointed straight at you. The thing had been plastered on every blank space on
every wall, even outnumbering the portraits of Big Brother. The proles, normally
apathetic about the war, were being lashed into one of their periodical
frenzies of patriotism. As though to harmonize with the general mood, the
rocket bombs had been killing larger numbers of people than usual. One fell on
a crowded film theatre in Stepney, burying several hundred victims among the
ruins. The whole population of the neighbourhood turned out for a long,
trailing funeral which went on for hours and was in effect an indignation
meeting. Another bomb fell on a piece of waste ground which was used as a
playground and several dozen children were blown to pieces. There were further
angry demonstrations, Goldstein was burned in effigy, hundreds of copies of the
poster of the Eurasian soldier were torn down and added to the flames, and a number
of shops were looted in the turmoil; then a rumour flew round that spies were
directing the rocket bombs by means of wireless waves, and an old couple who
were suspected of being of foreign extraction had their house set on fire and
perished of suffocation.
In the room
over Mr Charrington's shop, when they could get there, Julia and Winston lay
side by side on a stripped bed under the open window, naked for the sake of
coolness. The rat had never come back, but the bugs had multiplied hideously in
the heat. It did not seem to matter. Dirty or clean, the room was paradise. As
soon as they arrived they would sprinkle everything with pepper bought on the
black market, tear off their clothes, and make love with sweating bodies, then
fall asleep and wake to find that the bugs had rallied and were massing for the
counter-attack.
Four, five,
six -- seven times they met during the month of June. Winston had dropped his
habit of drinking gin at all hours. He seemed to have lost the need for it. He
had grown fatter, his varicose ulcer had subsided, leaving only a brown stain
on the skin above his ankle, his fits of coughing in the early morning had
stopped. The process of life had ceased to be intolerable, he had no longer any
impulse to make faces at the telescreen or shout curses at the top of his
voice. Now that they had a secure hiding- place, almost a home, it did not even
seem a hardship that they could only meet infrequently and for a couple of
hours at a time. What mattered was that the room over the junk- shop should
exist. To know that it was there, inviolate, was almost the same as being in
it. The room was a world, a pocket of the past where extinct animals could
walk. Mr Charrington, thought Winston, was another extinct animal. He usually
stopped to talk with Mr Charrington for a few minutes on his way upstairs. The
old man seemed seldom or never to go out of doors, and on the other hand to
have almost no customers. He led a ghostlike existence between the tiny, dark
shop, and an even tinier back kitchen where he prepared his meals and which
contained, among other things, an unbelievably ancient gramophone with an
enormous horn. He seemed glad of the opportunity to talk. Wandering about among
his worthless stock, with his long nose and thick spectacles and his bowed
shoulders in the velvet jacket, he had always vaguely the air of being a
collector rather than a tradesman. With a sort of faded enthusiasm he would
finger this scrap of rubbish or that -- a china bottle-stopper, the painted lid
of a broken snuffbox, a pinchbeck locket containing a strand of some long-dead
baby's hair -- never asking that Winston should buy it, merely that he should
admire it. To talk to him was like listening to the tinkling of a worn-out
musical-box. He had dragged out from the corners of his memory some more
fragments of forgotten rhymes. There was one about four and twenty blackbirds,
and another about a cow with a crumpled horn, and another about the death of
poor Cock Robin. 'It just occurred to me you might be interested,' he would say
with a deprecating little laugh whenever he produced a new fragment. But he
could never recall more than a few lines of any one rhyme.
Both of them
knew-in a way, it was never out of their minds that what was now happening
could not last long. There were times when the fact of impending death seemed
as palpable as the bed they lay on, and they would cling together with a sort
of despairing sensuality, like a damned soul grasping at his last morsel of
pleasure when the clock is within five minutes of striking. But there were also
times when they had the illusion not only of safety but of permanence. So long
as they were actually in this room, they both felt, no harm could come to them.
Getting there was difficult and dangerous, but the room itself was sanctuary.
It was as when Winston had gazed into the heart of the paperweight, with the
feeling that it would be possible to get inside that glassy world, and that
once inside it time could be arrested. Often they gave themselves up to
daydreams of escape. Their luck would hold indefinitely, and they would carry
on their intrigue, just like this, for the remainder of their natural lives. Or
Katharine would die, and by subtle manoeuvrings Winston and Julia would succeed
in getting married. Or they would commit suicide together. Or they would
disappear, alter themselves out of recognition, learn to speak with proletarian
accents, get jobs in a factory and live out their lives undetected in a
back-street. It was all nonsense, as they both knew. In reality there was no
escape. Even the one plan that was practicable, suicide, they had no intention
of carrying out. To hang on from day to day and from week to week, spinning out
a present that had no future, seemed an unconquerable instinct, just as one's lungs
will always draw the next breath so long as there is air available.
Sometimes,
too, they talked of engaging in active rebellion against the Party, but with no
notion of how to take the first step. Even if the fabulous Brotherhood was a
reality, there still remained the difficulty of finding one's way into it. He
told her of the strange intimacy that existed, or seemed to exist, between
himself and O'Brien, and of the impulse he sometimes felt, simply to walk into
O'Brien's presence, announce that he was the enemy of the Party, and demand his
help. Curiously enough, this did not strike her as an impossibly rash thing to
do. She was used to judging people by their faces, and it seemed natural to her
that Winston should believe O'Brien to be trustworthy on the strength of a
single flash of the eyes. Moreover she took it for granted that everyone, or
nearly everyone, secretly hated the Party and would break the rules if he
thought it safe to do so. But she refused to believe that widespread, organized
opposition existed or could exist. The tales about Goldstein and his
underground army, she said, were simply a lot of rubbish which the Party had
invented for its own purposes and which you had to pretend to believe in. Times
beyond number, at Party rallies and spontaneous demonstrations, she had shouted
at the top of her voice for the execution of people whose names she had never
heard and in whose supposed crimes she had not the faintest belief. When public
trials were happening she had taken her place in the detachments from the Youth
League who surrounded the courts from morning to night, chanting at intervals
'Death to the traitors!' During the Two Minutes Hate she always excelled all
others in shouting insults at Goldstein. Yet she had only the dimmest idea of
who Goldstein was and what doctrines he was supposed to represent. She had
grown up since the Revolution and was too young to remember the ideological
battles of the fifties and sixties. Such a thing as an independent political
movement was outside her imagination: and in any case the Party was invincible.
It would always exist, and it would always be the same. You could only rebel
against it by secret disobedience or, at most, by isolated acts of violence
such as killing somebody or blowing something up.
In some ways
she was far more acute than Winston, and far less susceptible to Party
propaganda. Once when he happened in some connexion to mention the war against
Eurasia, she startled him by saying casually that in her opinion the war was
not happening. The rocket bombs which fell daily on London were probably fired
by the Government of Oceania itself, 'just to keep people frightened'. This was
an idea that had literally never occurred to him. She also stirred a sort of
envy in him by telling him that during the Two Minutes Hate her great
difficulty was to avoid bursting out laughing. But she only questioned the
teachings of the Party when they in some way touched upon her own life. Often
she was ready to accept the official mythology, simply because the difference
between truth and falsehood did not seem important to her. She believed, for
instance, having learnt it at school, that the Party had invented aeroplanes.
(In his own schooldays, Winston remembered, in the late fifties, it was only
the helicopter that the Party claimed to have invented; a dozen years later,
when Julia was at school, it was already claiming the aeroplane; one generation
more, and it would be claiming the steam engine.) And when he told her that
aeroplanes had been in existence before he was born and long before the
Revolution, the fact struck her as totally uninteresting. After all, what did
it matter who had invented aeroplanes? It was rather more of a shock to him
when he discovered from some chance remark that she did not remember that
Oceania, four years ago, had been at war with Eastasia and at peace with
Eurasia. It was true that she regarded the whole war as a sham: but apparently
she had not even noticed that the name of the enemy had changed. 'I thought
we'd always been at war with Eurasia,' she said vaguely. It frightened him a
little. The invention of aeroplanes dated from long before her birth, but the
switchover in the war had happened only four years ago, well after she was
grown up. He argued with her about it for perhaps a quarter of an hour. In the
end he succeeded in forcing her memory back until she did dimly recall that at
one time Eastasia and not Eurasia had been the enemy. But the issue still
struck her as unimportant. 'Who cares?' she said impatiently. 'It's always one
bloody war after another, and one knows the news is all lies anyway.
Sometimes he
talked to her of the Records Department and the impudent forgeries that he
committed there. Such things did not appear to horrify her. She did not feel
the abyss opening beneath her feet at the thought of lies becoming truths. He
told her the story of Jones, Aaronson, and Rutherford and the momentous slip of
paper which he had once held between his fingers. It did not make much
impression on her. At first, indeed, she failed to grasp the point of the
story.
'Were they
friends of yours?' she said.
'No, I never
knew them. They were Inner Party members. Besides, they were far older men than
I was. They belonged to the old days, before the Revolution. I barely knew them
by sight.'
'Then what
was there to worry about? People are being killed off all the time, aren't
they?'
He tried to
make her understand. 'This was an exceptional case. It wasn't just a question
of somebody being killed. Do you realize that the past, starting from
yesterday, has been actually abolished? If it survives anywhere, it's in a few
solid objects with no words attached to them, like that lump of glass there.
Already we know almost literally nothing about the Revolution and the years
before the Revolution. Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book
has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street
and building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And that process is
continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists
except an endless present in which the Party is always right. I know, of
course, that the past is falsified, but it would never be possible for me to
prove it, even when I did the falsification myself. After the thing is done, no
evidence ever remains. The only evidence is inside my own mind, and I don't
know with any certainty that any other human being shares my memories. Just in
that one instance, in my whole life, I did possess actual concrete evidence after
the event -- years after it.'
'And what
good was that?'
'It was no
good, because I threw it away a few minutes later. But if the same thing
happened today, I should keep it.'
'Well, I
wouldn't!' said Julia. 'I'm quite ready to take risks, but only for something
worth while, not for bits of old newspaper. What could you have done with it
even if you had kept it?'
'Not much,
perhaps. But it was evidence. It might have planted a few doubts here and
there, supposing that I'd dared to show it to anybody. I don't imagine that we
can alter anything in our own lifetime. But one can imagine little knots of
resistance springing up here and there -- small groups of people banding
themselves together, and gradually growing, and even leaving a few records
behind, so that the next generations can carry on where we leave off.'
'I'm not
interested in the next generation, dear. I'm interested in us.
'You're only
a rebel from the waist downwards,' he told her.
She thought
this brilliantly witty and flung her arms round him in delight.
In the
ramifications of party doctrine she had not the faintest interest. Whenever he
began to talk of the principles of Ingsoc, doublethink, the mutability of the
past, and the denial of objective reality, and to use Newspeak words, she
became bored and confused and said that she never paid any attention to that
kind of thing. One knew that it was all rubbish, so why let oneself be worried
by it? She knew when to cheer and when to boo, and that was all one needed. If
he persisted in talking of such subjects, she had a disconcerting habit of
falling asleep. She was one of those people who can go to sleep at any hour and
in any position. Talking to her, he realized how easy it was to present an
appearance of orthodoxy while having no grasp whatever of what orthodoxy meant.
In a way, the world-view of the Party imposed itself most successfully on
people incapable of understanding it. They could be made to accept the most
flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully grasped the enormity
of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public
events to notice what was happening. By lack of understanding they remained
sane. They simply swallowed everything, and what they swallowed did them no
harm, because it left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass
undigested through the body of a bird.
x x x
It had
happened at last. The expected message had come. All his life, it seemed to
him, he had been waiting for this to happen.
He was
walking down the long corridor at the Ministry and he was almost at the spot
where Julia had slipped the note into his hand when he became aware that
someone larger than himself was walking just behind him. The person, whoever it
was, gave a small cough, evidently as a prelude to speaking. Winston stopped
abruptly and turned. It was O'Brien.
At last they
were face to face, and it seemed that his only impulse was to run away. His
heart bounded violently. He would have been incapable of speaking. O'Brien,
however, had continued forward in the same movement, laying a friendly hand for
a moment on Winston's arm, so that the two of them were walking side by side.
He began speaking with the peculiar grave courtesy that differentiated him from
the majority of Inner Party members.
'I had been
hoping for an opportunity of talking to you,' he said. 'I was reading one of
your Newspeak articles in The Times the other day. You take a scholarly
interest in Newspeak, I believe?'
Winston had
recovered part of his self-possession. 'Hardly scholarly,' he said. 'I'm only
an amateur. It's not my subject. I have never had anything to do with the
actual construction of the language.'
'But you
write it very elegantly,' said O'Brien. 'That is not only my own opinion. I was
talking recently to a friend of yours who is certainly an expert. His name has
slipped my memory for the moment.'
Again
Winston's heart stirred painfully. It was inconceivable that this was anything
other than a reference to Syme. But Syme was not only dead, he was abolished,
an unperson. Any identifiable reference to him would have been mortally
dangerous. O'Brien's remark must obviously have been intended as a signal, a
codeword. By sharing a small act of thoughtcrime he had turned the two of them
into accomplices. They had continued to stroll slowly down the corridor, but
now O'Brien halted. With the curious, disarming friendliness that he always
managed to put in to the gesture he resettled his spectacles on his nose. Then
he went on:
'What I had
really intended to say was that in your article I noticed you had used two
words which have become obsolete. But they have only become so very recently.
Have you seen the tenth edition of the Newspeak Dictionary?'
'No,' said
Winston. 'I didn't think it had been issued yet. We are still using the ninth
in the Records Department.'
'The tenth
edition is not due to appear for some months, I believe. But a few advance
copies have been circulated. I have one myself. It might interest you to look
at it, perhaps?'
'Very much
so,' said Winston, immediately seeing where this tended.
'Some of the
new developments are most ingenious. The reduction in the number of verbs --
that is the point that will appeal to you, I think. Let me see, shall I send a
messenger to you with the dictionary? But I am afraid I invariably forget
anything of that kind. Perhaps you could pick it up at my flat at some time
that suited you? Wait. Let me give you my address.'
They were
standing in front of a telescreen. Somewhat absentmindedly O'Brien felt two of
his pockets and then produced a small leather-covered notebook and a gold ink-
pencil. Immediately beneath the telescreen, in such a position that anyone who
was watching at the other end of the instrument could read what he was writing,
he scribbled an address, tore out the page and handed it to Winston.
'I am usually
at home in the evenings,' he said. 'If not, my servant will give you the
dictionary.'
He was gone,
leaving Winston holding the scrap of paper, which this time there was no need
to conceal. Nevertheless he carefully memorized what was written on it, and
some hours later dropped it into the memory hole along with a mass of other
papers.
They had been
talking to one another for a couple of minutes at the most. There was only one
meaning that the episode could possibly have. It had been contrived as a way of
letting Winston know O'Brien's address. This was necessary, because except by
direct enquiry it was never possible to discover where anyone lived. There were
no directories of any kind. 'If you ever want to see me, this is where I can be
found,' was what O'Brien had been saying to him. Perhaps there would even be a
message concealed somewhere in the dictionary. But at any rate, one thing was
certain. The conspiracy that he had dreamed of did exist, and he had reached
the outer edges of it.
He knew that
sooner or later he would obey O'Brien's summons. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps
after a long delay -- he was not certain. What was happening was only the
working-out of a process that had started years ago. The first step had been a
secret, involuntary thought, the second had been the opening of the diary. He
had moved from thoughts to words, and now from words to actions. The last step
was something that would happen in the Ministry of Love. He had accepted it.
The end was contained in the beginning. But it was frightening: or, more
exactly, it was like a foretaste of death, like being a little less alive. Even
whiIe he was speaking to O'Brien, when the meaning of the words had sunk in, a
chilly shuddering feeling had taken possession of his body. He had the
sensation of stepping into the dampness of a grave, and it was not much better
because he had always known that the grave was there and waiting for him.
x x x
Winston had
woken up with his eyes full of tears. Julia rolled sleepily against him,
murmuring something that might have been 'What's the matter?'
'I dreamt-'
he began, and stopped short. It was too complex to be put into words. There was
the dream itself, and there was a memory connected with it that had swum into
his mind in the few seconds after waking.
He lay back
with his eyes shut, still sodden in the atmosphere of the dream. It was a vast,
luminous dream in which his whole life seemed to stretch out before him like a
landscape on a summer evening after rain. It had all occurred inside the glass
paperweight, but the surface of the glass was the dome of the sky, and inside
the dome everything was flooded with clear soft light in which one could see
into interminable distances. The dream had also been comprehended by -- indeed,
in some sense it had consisted in -- a gesture of the arm made by his mother,
and made again thirty years later by the Jewish woman he had seen on the news
film, trying to shelter the small boy from the bullets, before the helicopter
blew them both to pieces.
'Do you
know,' he said, 'that until this moment I believed I had murdered my mother?'
'Why did you
murder her?' said Julia, almost asleep.
'I didn't
murder her. Not physically.'
In the dream
he had remembered his last glimpse of his mother, and within a few moments of
waking the cluster of small events surrounding it had all come back. It was a
memory that he must have deliberately pushed out of his consciousness over many
years. He was not certain of the date, but he could not have been less than ten
years old, possibly twelve, when it had happened.
His father
had disappeared some time earlier, how much earlier he could not remember. He
remembered better the rackety, uneasy circumstances of the time: the periodical
panics about air-raids and the sheltering in Tube stations, the piles of rubble
everywhere, the unintelligible proclamations posted at street corners, the
gangs of youths in shirts all the same colour, the enormous queues outside the
bakeries, the intermittent machine-gun fire in the distance -- above all, the
fact that there was never enough to eat. He remembered long afternoons spent
with other boys in scrounging round dustbins and rubbish heaps, picking out the
ribs of cabbage leaves, potato peelings, sometimes even scraps of stale bread
crust from which they carefully scraped away the cinders; and also in waiting
for the passing of trucks which traveled over a certain route and were known to
carry cattle feed, and which, when they jolted over the bad patches in the
road, sometimes spilt a few fragments of oil-cake.
When his
father disappeared, his mother did not show any surprise or any violent grief,
but a sudden change came over her. She seemed to have become completely
spiritless. It was evident even to Winston that she was waiting for something
that she knew must happen. She did everything that was needed -- cooked,
washed, mended, made the bed, swept the floor, dusted the mantelpiece -- always
very slowly and with a curious lack of superfluous motion, like an artist's
lay- figure moving of its own accord. Her large shapely body seemed to relapse
naturally into stillness. For hours at a time she would sit almost immobile on
the bed, nursing his young sister, a tiny, ailing, very silent child of two or
three, with a face made simian by thinness. Very occasionally she would take
Winston in her arms and press him against her for a long time without saying
anything. He was aware, in spite of his youthfulness and selfishness, that this
was somehow connected with the never-mentioned thing that was about to happen.
He remembered
the room where they lived, a dark, closesmelling room that seemed half filled
by a bed with a white counterpane. There was a gas ring in the fender, and a
shelf where food was kept, and on the landing outside there was a brown
earthenware sink, common to several rooms. He remembered his mother's
statuesque body bending over the gas ring to stir at something in a saucepan.
Above all he remembered his continuous hunger, and the fierce sordid battles at
mealtimes. He would ask his mother naggingly, over and over again, why there
was not more food, he would shout and storm at her (he even remembered the
tones of his voice, which was beginning to break prematurely and sometimes boomed
in a peculiar way), or he would attempt a snivelling note of pathos in his
efforts to get more than his share. His mother was quite ready to give him more
than his share. She took it for granted that he, 'the boy', should have the
biggest portion; but however much she gave him he invariably demanded more. At
every meal she would beseech him not to be selfish and to remember that his
little sister was sick and also needed food, but it was no use. He would cry
out with rage when she stopped ladling, he would try to wrench the saucepan and
spoon out of her hands, he would grab bits from his sister's plate. He knew
that he was starving the other two, but he could not help it; he even felt that
he had a right to do it. The clamorous hunger in his belly seemed to justify
him. Between meals, if his mother did not stand guard, he was constantly
pilfering at the wretched store of food on the shelf.
One day a
chocolate-ration was issued. There had been no such issue for weeks or months
past. He remembered quite clearly that precious little morsel of chocolate. It
was a two-ounce slab (they still talked about ounces in those days) between the
three of them. It was obvious that it ought to be divided into three equal
parts. Suddenly, as though he were listening to somebody else, Winston heard
himself demanding in a loud booming voice that he should be given the whole
piece. His mother told him not to be greedy. There was a long, nagging argument
that went round and round, with shouts, whines, tears,remonstrances, bargainings.
His tiny sister, clinging to her mother with both hands, exactly like a baby
monkey, sat looking over her shoulder at him with large, mournful eyes. In the
end his mother broke off three-quarters of the chocolate and gave it to
Winston, giving the other quarter to his sister. The little girl took hold of
it and looked at it dully, perhaps not knowing what it was. Winston stood
watching her for a moment. Then with a sudden swift spring he had snatched the
piece of chocolate out of his sister's hand and was fleeing for the door.
'Winston,
Winston!' his mother called after him. 'Come back! Give your sister back her
chocolate!'
He stopped,
but did not come back. His mother's anxious eyes were fixed on his face. Even
now he was thinking about the thing, he did not know what it was that was on
the point of happening. His sister, conscious of having been robbed of
something, had set up a feeble wail. His mother drew her arm round the child
and pressed its face against her breast. Something in the gesture told him that
his sister was dying. He turned and fled down the stairs. with the chocolate
growing sticky in his hand.
He never saw
his mother again. After he had devoured the chocolate he felt somewhat ashamed
of himself and hung about in the streets for several hours, until hunger drove
him home. When he came back his mother had disappeared. This was already
becoming normal at that time. Nothing was gone from the room except his mother
and his sister. They had not taken any clothes, not even his mother's overcoat.
To this day he did not know with any certainty that his mother was dead. It was
perfectly possible that she had merely been sent to a forced-labour camp. As
for his sister, she might have been removed, like Winston himself, to one of
the colonies for homeless children (Reclamation Centres, they were called)
which had grown up as a result of the civil war, or she might have been sent to
the labour camp along with his mother, or simply left somewhere or other to
die.
The dream was
still vivid in his mind, especially the enveloping protecting gesture of the
arm in which its whole meaning seemed to be contained. His mind went back to
another dream of two months ago. Exactly as his mother had sat on the dingy
whitequilted bed, with the child clinging to her, so she had sat in the sunken
ship, far underneath him, and drowning deeper every minute, but still looking
up at him through the darkening water.
He told Julia
the story of his mother's disappearance. Without opening her eyes she rolled
over and settled herself into a more comfortable position.
'I expect you
were a beastly little swine in those days,' she said indistinctly. 'All
children are swine.'
'Yes. But the
real point of the story-'
From her
breathing it was evident that she was going off to sleep again. He would have
liked to continue talking about his mother. He did not suppose, from what he
could remember of her, that she had been an unusual woman, still less an
intelligent one; and yet she had possessed a kind of nobility, a kind of purity,
simply because the standards that she obeyed were private ones. Her feelings
were her own, and could not be altered from outside. It would not have occurred
to her that an action which is ineffectual thereby becomes meaningless. If you
loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still
gave him love. When the last of the chocolate was gone, his mother had clasped
the child in her arms. It was no use, it changed nothing, it did not produce
more chocolate, it did not avert the child's death or her own; but it seemed
natural to her to do it. The refugee woman in the boat had also covered the
little boy with her arm, which was no more use against the bullets than a sheet
of paper. The terrible thing that the Party had done was to persuade you that
mere impulses, mere feelings, were of no account, while at the same time
robbing you of all power over the material world. When once you were in the
grip of the Party, what you felt or did not feel, what you did or refrained
from doing, made literally no difference. Whatever happened you vanished, and
neither you nor your actions were ever heard of again. You were lifted clean
out of the stream of history. And yet to the people of only two generations ago
this would not have seemed all-important, because they were not attempting to
alter history. They were governed by private loyalties which they did not
question. What mattered were individual relationships, and a completely
helpless gesture, an embrace, a tear, a word spoken to a dying man, could have
value in itself. The proles, it suddenly occurred to him, had remained in this
condition. They were not loyal to a party or a country or an idea, they were
loyal to one another. For the first time in his life he did not despise the
proles or think of them merely as an inert force which would one day spring to
life and regenerate the world. The proles had stayed human. They had not become
hardened inside. They had held on to the primitive emotions which he himself
had to re-learn by conscious effort. And in thinking this he remembered,
without apparent relevance, how a few weeks ago he had seen a severed hand
lying on the pavement and had kicked it into the gutter as though it had been a
cabbage-stalk.
'The proles
are human beings,' he said aloud. 'We are not human.'
'Why not?'
said Julia, who had woken up again.
He thought
for a little while. 'Has it ever occurred to you. he said, 'that the best thing
for us to do would be simply to walk out of here before it's too late, and
never see each other again?'
'Yes, dear,
it has occurred to me, several times. But I'm not going to do it, all the
same.'
'We've been
lucky,' he said 'but it can't last much longer. You're young. You look normal
and innocent. If you keep clear of people like me, you might stay alive for
another fifty years.'
'No. I've
thought it all out. What you do, I'm going to do. And don't be too downhearted.
I'm rather good at staying alive.'
'We may be
together for another six months -- a year -- there's no knowing. At the end
we're certain to be apart. Do you realize how utterly alone we shall be? When
once they get hold of us there will be nothing, literally nothing, that either
of us can do for the other. If I confess, they'll shoot you, and if I refuse to
confess, they'll shoot you just the same. Nothing that I can do or say, or stop
myself from saying, will put off your death for as much as five minutes.
Neither of us will even know whether the other is alive or dead. We shall be
utterly without power of any kind. The one thing that matters is that we
shouldn't betray one another, although even that can't make the slightest
difference.'
'If you mean
confessing,' she said, 'we shall do that, right enough. Everybody always
confesses. You can't help it. They torture you.'
'I don't mean
confessing. Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn't matter: only
feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you -- that would be the
real betrayal.'
She thought
it over. 'They can't do that,' she said finally. 'It's the one thing they can't
do. They can make you say anything -- any- thing -- but they can't make you
believe it. They can't get inside you.'
'No,' he said
a little more hopefully, 'no; that's quite true. They can't get inside you. If
you can feel that staying human is worth while, even when it can't have any
result whatever, you've beaten them.'
He thought of
the telescreen with its never-sleeping ear. They could spy upon you night and
day, but if you kept your head you could still outwit them. With all their
cleverness they had never mastered the secret of finding out what another human
being was thinking. Perhaps that was less true when you were actually in their
hands. One did not know what happened inside the Ministry of Love, but it was
possible to guess: tortures, drugs, delicate instruments that registered your
nervous reactions, gradual wearing-down by sleeplessness and solitude and
persistent questioning. Facts, at any rate, could not be kept hidden. They
could be tracked down by enquiry, they could be squeezed out of you by torture.
But if the object was not to stay alive but to stay human, what difference did
it ultimately make? They could not alter your feelings: for that matter you
could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to. They could lay bare in
the utmost detail everything that you had done or said or thought; but the
inner heart, whose workings were mysterious even to yourself, remained
impregnable.
x x x
They had done
it, they had done it at last!
The room they
were standing in was long-shaped and softly lit. The telescreen was dimmed to a
low murmur; the richness of the dark-blue carpet gave one the impression of
treading on velvet. At the far end of the room O'Brien was sitting at a table
under a green-shaded lamp, with a mass of papers on either side of him. He had
not bothered to look up when the servant showed Julia and Winston in.
Winston's
heart was thumping so hard that he doubted whether he would be able to speak.
They had done it, they had done it at last, was all he could think. It had been
a rash act to come here at all, and sheer folly to arrive together; though it
was true that they had come by different routes and only met on O'Brien's
doorstep. But merely to walk into such a place needed an effort of the nerve.
It was only on very rare occasions that one saw inside the dwelling-places of
the Inner Party, or even penetrated into the quarter of the town where they
lived. The whole atmosphere of the huge block of flats, the richness and
spaciousness of everything, the unfamiliar smells of good food and good
tobacco, the silent and incredibly rapid lifts sliding up and down, the
white-jacketed servants hurrying to and fro -- everything was intimidating.
Although he had a good pretext for coming here, he was haunted at every step by
the fear that a black-uniformed guard would suddenly appear from round the
corner, demand his papers, and order him to get out. O'Brien's servant,
however, had admitted the two of them without demur. He was a small,
dark-haired man in a white jacket, with a diamond-shaped, completely
expressionless face which might have been that of a Chinese. The passage down
which he led them was softly carpeted, with cream-papered walls and white
wainscoting, all exquisitely clean. That too was intimidating. Winston could
not remember ever to have seen a passageway whose walls were not grimy from the
contact of human bodies.
O'Brien had a
slip of paper between his fingers and seemed to be studying it intently. His
heavy face, bent down so that one could see the line of the nose, looked both
formidable and intelligent. For perhaps twenty seconds he sat without stirring.
Then he pulled the speakwrite towards him and rapped out a message in the
hybrid jargon of the Ministries:
'Items one
comma five comma seven approved fullwise stop suggestion contained item six
doubleplus ridiculous verging crimethink cancel stop unproceed constructionwise
antegetting plusfull estimates machinery overheads stop end message.'
He rose
deliberately from his chair and came towards them across the soundless carpet.
A little of the official atmosphere seemed to have fallen away from him with
the Newspeak words, but his expression was grimmer than usual, as though he
were not pleased at being disturbed. The terror that Winston already felt was
suddenly shot through by a streak of ordinary embarrassment. It seemed to him
quite possible that he had simply made a stupid mistake. For what evidence had
he in reality that O'Brien was any kind of political conspirator? Nothing but a
flash of the eyes and a single equivocal remark: beyond that, only his own
secret imaginings, founded on a dream. He could not even fall back on the
pretence that he had come to borrow the dictionary, because in that case
Julia's presence was impossible to explain. As O'Brien passed the telescreen a
thought seemed to strike him. He stopped, turned aside and pressed a switch on
the wall. There was a sharp snap. The voice had stopped.
Julia uttered
a tiny sound, a sort of squeak of surprise. Even in the midst of his panic, Winston
was too much taken aback to be able to hold his tongue.
'You can turn
it off!' he said.
'Yes,' said
O'Brien, 'we can turn it off. We have that privilege.'
He was
opposite them now. His solid form towered over the pair of them, and the
expression on his face was still indecipherable. He was waiting, somewhat
sternly, for Winston to speak, but about what? Even now it was quite
conceivable that he was simply a busy man wondering irritably why he had been
interrupted. Nobody spoke. After the stopping of the telescreen the room seemed
deadly silent. The seconds marched past, enormous. With difficulty Winston
continued to keep his eyes fixed on O'Brien's. Then suddenly the grim face
broke down into what might have been the beginnings of a smile. With his
characteristic gesture O'Brien resettled his spectacles on his nose.
'Shall I say
it, or will you?' he said.
'I will say
it,' said Winston promptly. 'That thing is really turned off?'
'Yes,
everything is turned off. We are alone.'
'We have come
here because-'
He paused,
realizing for the first time the vagueness of his own motives. Since he did not
in fact know what kind of help he expected from O'Brien, it was not easy to say
why he had come here. He went on, conscious that what he was saying must sound
both feeble and pretentious:
'We believe
that there is some kind of conspiracy, some kind of secret organization working
against the Party, and that you are involved in it. We want to join it and work
for it. We are enemies of the Party. We disbelieve in the principles of Ingsoc.
We are thought-criminals. We are also adulterers. I tell you this because we
want to put ourselves at your mercy. If you want us to incriminate ourselves in
any other way, we are ready.'
He stopped
and glanced over his shoulder, with the feeling that the door had opened. Sure
enough, the little yellow-faced servant had come in without knocking. Winston
saw that he was carrying a tray with a decanter and glasses.
'Martin is
one of us,' said O'Brien impassively. 'Bring the drinks over here, Martin. Put
them on the round table. Have we enough chairs? Then we may as well sit down
and talk in comfort. Bring a chair for yourself, Martin. This is business. You
can stop being a servant for the next ten minutes.'
The little
man sat down, quite at his ease, and yet still with a servant-like air, the air
of a valet enjoying a privilege. Winston regarded him out of the corner of his
eye. It struck him that the man's whole life was playing a part, and that he
felt it to be dangerous to drop his assumed personality even for a moment.
O'Brien took the decanter by the neck and filled up the glasses with a dark-
red liquid. It aroused in Winston dim memories of something seen long ago on a
wall or a hoarding -- a vast bottle composed of electric lights which seemed to
move up and down and pour its contents into a glass. Seen from the top the
stuff looked almost black, but in the decanter it gleamed like a ruby. It had a
sour-sweet smell. He saw Julia pick up her glass and sniff at it with frank curiosity.
'It is called
wine,' said O'Brien with a faint smile. 'You will have read about it in books,
no doubt. Not much of it gets to the Outer Party, I am afraid.' His face grew
solemn again, and he raised his glass: 'I think it is fitting that we should
begin by drinking a health. To our Leader: To Emmanuel Goldstein.'
Winston took
up his glass with a certain eagerness. Wine was a thing he had read and dreamed
about. Like the glass paperweight or Mr Charrington's half-remembered rhymes,
it belonged to the vanished, romantic past, the olden time as he liked to call
it in his secret thoughts. For some reason he had always thought of wine as
having an intensely sweet taste, like that of blackberry jam and an immediate
intoxicating effect. Actually, when he came to swallow it, the stuff was
distinctly disappointing. The truth was that after years of gin-drinking he
could barely taste it. He set down the empty glass.
'Then there
is such a person as Goldstein?' he said.
'Yes, there
is such a person, and he is alive. Where, I do not know.'
'And the
conspiracy -- the organization? Is it real? It is not simply an invention of
the Thought Police?'
'No, it is
real. The Brotherhood, we call it. You will never learn much more about the
Brotherhood than that it exists and that you belong to it. I will come back to
that presently.' He looked at his wrist-watch. 'It is unwise even for members
of the Inner Party to turn off the telescreen for more than half an hour. You
ought not to have come here together, and you will have to leave separately.
You, comrade' -- he bowed his head to Julia -- 'will leave first. We have about
twenty minutes at our disposal. You will understand that I must start by asking
you certain questions. In general terms, what are you prepared to do?'
'Anything
that we are capable of,' said Winston.
O'Brien had
turned himself a little in his chair so that he was facing Winston. He almost
ignored Julia, seeming to take it for granted that Winston could speak for her.
For a moment the lids flitted down over his eyes. He began asking his questions
in a low, expressionless voice, as though this were a outine, a sort of
catechism, most of whose answers were known to him already.
'You are
prepared to give your lives?'
'Yes.'
'You are
prepared to commit murder?'
'Yes.'
'To commit
acts of sabotage which may cause the death of hundreds of innocent people?'
'Yes.'
'To betray
your country to foreign powers?'
'Yes.'
'You are
prepared to cheat, to forge, to blackmail, to corrupt the minds of children, to
distribute habit-forming drugs, to encourage prostitution, to disseminate
venereal diseases -- to do anything which is likely to cause demoralization and
weaken the power of the Party?'
'Yes.'
'If, for
example, it would somehow serve our interests to throw sulphuric acid in a
child's face -- are you prepared to do that?'
'Yes.'
'You are
prepared to lose your identity and live out the rest of your life as a waiter
or a dock-worker?'
'Yes.'
'You are
prepared to commit suicide, if and when we order you to do so?'
'Yes.'
'You are
prepared, the two of you, to separate and never see one another again?'
'No!' broke
in Julia.
It appeared
to Winston that a long time passed before he answered. For a moment he seemed
even to have been deprived of the power of speech. His tongue worked
soundlessly, forming the opening syllables first of one word, then of the
other, over and over again. Until he had said it, he did not know which word he
was going to say. 'No,' he said finally.
'You did well
to tell me,' said O'Brien. 'It is necessary for us to know everything.'
He turned
himself toward Julia and added in a voice with somewhat more expression in it:
'Do you
understand that even if he survives, it may be as a different person? We may be
obliged to give him a new identity. His face, his movements, the shape of his
hands, the colour of his hair -- even his voice would be different. And you
yourself might have become a different person. Our surgeons can alter people
beyond recognition. Sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes we even amputate a
limb.'
Winston could
not help snatching another sidelong glance at Martin's Mongolian face. There
were no scars that he could see. Julia had turned a shade paler, so that her
freckles were showing, but she faced O'Brien boldly. She murmured something
that seemed to be assent.
'Good. Then
that is settled.'
There was a
silver box of cigarettes on the table. With a rather absent-minded air O'Brien
pushed them towards the others, took one himself, then stood up and began to
pace slowly to and fro, as though he could think better standing. They were
very good cigarettes, very thick and well-packed, with an unfamiliar silkiness
in the paper. O'Brien looked at his wrist-watch again.
'You had
better go back to your Pantry, Martin,' he said. 'I shall switch on in a
quarter of an hour. Take a good look at these comrades' faces before you go.
You will be seeing them again. I may not.
Exactly as
they had done at the front door, the little man's dark eyes flickered over
their faces. There was not a trace of friendliness in his manner. He was
memorizing their appearance, but he felt no interest in them, or appeared to
feel none. It occurred to Winston that a synthetic face was perhaps incapable
of changing its expression. Without speaking or giving any kind of salutation,
Martin went out, closing the door silently behind him. O'Brien was strolling up
and down, one hand in the pocket of his black overalls, the other holding his
cigarette.
'You
understand,' he said, 'that you will be fighting in the dark. You will always
be in the dark. You will receive orders and you will obey them, without knowing
why. Later I shall send you a book from which you will learn the true nature of
the society we live in, and the strategy by which we shall destroy it. When you
have read the book, you will be full members of the Brotherhood. But between
the general aims that we are fighting for and the immediate tasks of the
moment, you will never know anything. I tell you that the Brotherhood exists,
but I cannot tell you whether it numbers a hundred members, or ten million.
From your personal knowledge you will never be able to say that it numbers even
as many as a dozen. You will have three or four contacts, who will be renewed
from time to time as they disappear. As this was your first contact, it will be
preserved. When you receive orders, they will come from me. If we find it
necessary to communicate with you, it will be through Martin. When you are
finally caught, you will confess. That is unavoidable. But you will have very
little to confess, other than your own actions. You will not be able to betray
more than a handful of unimportant people. Probably you will not even betray
me. By that time I may be dead, or I shall have become a different person, with
a different face.'
He continued
to move to and fro over the soft carpet. In spite of the bulkiness of his body
there was a remarkable grace in his movements. It came out even in the gesture
with which he thrust a hand into his pocket, or manipulated a cigarette. More
even than of strength, he gave an impression of confidence and of an
understanding tinged by irony. However much in earnest he might be, he had
nothing of the single-mindedness that belongs to a fanatic. When he spoke of
murder, suicide, venereal disease, amputated limbs, and altered faces, it was
with a faint air of persiflage. 'This is unavoidable,' his voice seemed to say;
'this is what we have got to do, unflinchingly. But this is not what we shall
be doing when life is worth living again.' A wave of admiration, almost of
worship, flowed out from Winston towards O'Brien. For the moment he had
forgotten the shadowy figure of Goldstein. When you looked at O'Brien's
powerful shoulders and his blunt-featured face, so ugly and yet so civilized,
it was impossible to believe that he could be defeated. There was no stratagem
that he was not equal to, no danger that he could not foresee. Even Julia
seemed to be impressed. She had let her cigarette go out and was listening
intently. O'Brien went on:
'You will
have heard rumours of the existence of the Brotherhood. No doubt you have
formed your own picture of it. You have imagined, probably, a huge underworld
of conspirators, meeting secretly in cellars, scribbling messages on walls,
recognizing one another by codewords or by special movements of the hand.
Nothing of the kind exists. The members of the Brotherhood have no way of
recognizing one another, and it is impossible for any one member to be aware of
the identity of more than a few others. Goldstein himself, if he fell into the
hands of the Thought Police, could not give them a complete list of members, or
any information that would lead them to a complete list. No such list exists.
The Brotherhood cannot be wiped out because it is not an organization in the
ordinary sense. Nothing holds it together except an idea which is
indestructible. You will never have anything to sustain you, except the idea.
You will get no comradeship and no encouragement. When finally you are caught,
you will get no help. We never help our members. At most, when it is absolutely
necessary that someone should be silenced, we are occasionally able to smuggle
a razor blade into a prisoner's cell. You will have to get used to living
without results and without hope. You will work for a while, you will be
caught, you will confess, and then you will die. Those are the only results
that you will ever see. There is no possibility that any perceptible change
will happen within our own lifetime. We are the dead. Our only true life is in
the future. We shall take part in it as handfuls of dust and splinters of bone.
But how far away that future may be, there is no knowing. It might be a
thousand years. At present nothing is possible except to extend the area of
sanity little by little. We cannot act collectively. We can only spread our
knowledge outwards from individual to individual, generation after generation.
In the face of the Thought Police there is no other way.'
He halted and
looked for the third time at his wrist-watch.
'It is almost
time for you to leave, comrade,' he said to Julia. 'Wait. The decanter is still
half full.'
He filled the
glasses and raised his own glass by the stem.